Take It Out On Me
by Ltb16
Summary: Inspired by Florida Georgia Line's song, Take It Out On Me. Starts off as an AU. Emma befriends her neighbor, Killian, and eventually falls for him. Loosely follows the OUAT timeline. (Story was previously marked as complete but a reviewer convinced me to start this up again.) Don't judge the story on this terrible summary. :)
1. Chapter 1: friendship

**I initially wrote this story as a CS AU based off the lyrics of a Florida Georgia Line song. A reader asked me to continue the story and I realized I couldn't pass it up. After Chapter 10, the story begins to follow the CS story line in the show. The initial version of the story had quite a few typos which I've gone back to clean up. **

* * *

Chapter 1: friendship

Killian had been her friend and neighbor for the past five years. It all started one holiday weekend. Emma had no plans for the holiday and most of the people in her building were away on vacation or visiting friends and family for pool parties and cook outs. Of course, it was close to one hundred degrees and the air conditioning had suddenly crapped out. She had every window open and every fan running trying to make a tolerable environment but Mother Nature wasn't even offering her a gentle breeze.

Emma was getting ready to concede to the weather and head out to a see what movies were playing just so she could sit in the air conditioned theater for a few hours when she heard a child's scream. Children were always playing in the grassy area behind her building and gleeful screams were the norm, but this wasn't a happy scream at all. Emma dashed to the window to see a young girl had fallen into the small stream that ran behind the building. Recent rains gave the usually gentle stream a bit of a current and either it was too strong for the girl or she didn't know how to swim. Without a second thought, Emma jumped up and ran out her patio door.

Right as she leaped into the water after the girl she noticed a dark shape out of the corner of her eye. Her arms went out to grab the girl but she was already being lifted out of the water and a low accented voice was telling her she was okay now. Emma turned and found herself looking at who she believed was her new neighbor. Her new, very attractive, with-a-very-nice-accent neighbor. Mrs. Stuffins had recently moved out of her apartment to go live with her daughter and last week Emma noticed a moving truck out front and a couch on the curb, but hadn't seen the owner of said couch.

A frantic brunette woman came running up to them, arms outstretched for the young girl. "Mommy!" She cried and he handed her over to the woman who began rocking the girl and murmuring reassuring words. Her eyes lifted to Emma and the man and a string of apologies and thank you's spilled from her lips before she carried the girl over to a nearby bench.

"And you, are you alright, love?" The man asked with the most alluring and attractive accent Emma had ever heard.

"I…yeah, I'm okay" Emma faltered. "I just reacted so quickly to the girls scream my brain is still trying to process what all just happened and how I'm stand here right now."

"I didn't think either" he said, "I just heard her scream and took off running. All in a days work of being a hero, I suppose." He grinned.

Emma shook her head trying to clear the dazed feeling. "Are you usually a hero?" She found herself asking.

"Only in print." At her confused expression he continued "I'm an illustrator for children's books. Recently I've drawn a lot of super heroes for a new series coming out."

She nodded. There was something about this man that made her uncomfortable. Not in a creepy way but in a way that made her feel like he could see right into her mind and wouldn't have the slightest objections with telling her exactly what she was thinking. "I should get out of these wet clothes. Thanks for saving her."

His eyes darkened slightly at her mention of clothing but he didn't break away from her gaze. _Wow I don't think I've ever seen anyone with eyes that blue before and really, how did I miss just how attractive he is? _Emma thought, staring back at him for a second before feeling the warmth creep up her cheeks and looking away. She was in a relationship, she didn't need to be looking at other men! She chastised herself._But you aren't dead and this one is very easy on the eyes _the voice in the back of her head quipped.

Emma turned and started to walk away when he reached out and gently grabbed her arm. The jolt of electricity that shot through her body from his mere touch stunned her into silence for a few seconds before she managed to turn fully and look at him. He hadn't managed to recover as quickly and still wore a stunned expression. _He felt that too?_ Her mind wondered.

"I don't even know your name. I'm new to the building, I just moved in the other week. Apartment E. I'm Killian. Killian Jones."

"Emma Swan. Apartment B. " she practically whispered.

His face lit up with another megawatt smile. "I am quite pleased to meet you, Emma Swan. Perhaps my new neighbor would take pity on me not being from the area and would allow me to purchase her a coffee while she showed me around town?" His eyebrow quirked up and Emma got a gut feeling this man would be nothing but trouble for her.

Her mouth, on the other hand, acted on its own accord "I was planning on seeing a movie to get some relief from this heat. Would you like to join me?" tumbled out before she could stop herself.

The eyebrow went up again. "That would be quite lovely Ms. Swan. Would you be as kind to knock on my door when you are ready and I shall love to escort you to the theater."

Not trusting her mouth, Emma clamped her lips together and nodded before quickly retreating to her apartment.

_What in the hell was I thinking asking him to a movie? I don't even know him! He could be a serial killer or something! And what is with the peculiar way of speaking? Not to mention, I am in. . Sure, it's not perfect but it's still a relationship and here I am acting single and asking a complete stranger out on a date. No! Not a date. To a movie, because it's a thousand degrees outside and the a/c isn't working. That is the only reason. It has nothing to do with him being by far the most attractive man I've ever encountered in my life._ Emma's thoughts whirled through her head as she took a quick shower and changed her clothing. She tried to think of ways to get out of going to the movie with him, but she had no reasonable excuse. She had asked him. Emma dawdled a few more minutes, staring at the a/c unit and willing it to come back to life and get her out of this predicament she put herself in. Finally she gave up and headed over to his apartment.

Five years had passed since then. Emma had no idea what movie they saw that day, all she could remember is the hours after that they spent talking. And somehow in the random routines of life, they began to run into each other at the mailbox, at the fitness center or even at the nearby coffee shop. He fixed her garbage disposal when maintenance blew her off for a week straight. She watered his plants when he went on vacation. They saw movies together, cooked each other dinner on occasion and fell into a sort of friendship.

He never mentioned dating anyone and she never saw him bring a woman back to his place. They hung out more when her on again-off again relationship was in the off position but she still saw him pretty regularly. Killian flirted with her quite a bit but Emma believed it was just his personality or possibly her imagination. She brushed it off as him joking and ignored the traitorous inklings of jealousy when any other woman flirted with Killian. And there were many. Emma figured it came with the territory of being dangerously handsome. He was always polite to the women, but never encouraged more.

Over the years they began to confide in each other and one day, while Killian stood in her kitchen making them cups of hot chocolate sprinkled with cinnamon, a childhood favorite of hers, she realized he was the closest thing she had to a best friend.


	2. Chapter 2: an important date

Chapter 2: an important date

_What'd he do this time?_

_Did he break your heart?_

_I can tell you been crying… and baby here you are._

_And I always know any time you show up at my door past 11 o'clock that he really must've pissed you off._

_(Take it out on Me – Florida Georgia Line)_

* * *

Emma had spent over an hour getting ready for dinner tonight. She took extra care to curl her hair, apply more make up than usual allowing her eyes and cheekbones to really stand out and she was currently wearing a brand new red dress.

Not one for girly clothing, Emma was most comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans, but this particular dress had called to her from the window display. Form fitting but draping at the same time, the dress clung to her body accentuating her narrow waist.

She tapped one high heel clad foot against the bar nervously before checking her cell phone for the millionth time. Their relationship seemed to be getting better. Neal had never asked her to Blue Bistro before. It was one of the fanciest restaurants in town, usually reserved for special occasions, weddings and holiday parties.

Finally, he responded to her text asking if he was running late. 'Out with the guys. did we have plans? c u 2morow?' For once Emma couldn't even be disgusted at Neal's text abbreviations.

He stood her up. Tonight. Of all nights.

Equally broken and furious, Emma threw at twenty at the bartender and ran from the restaurant ignoring the bewildered stares of the other patrons. Ignoring her protesting feet, (one should really never run on the sidewalk in stilettos) Emma sprinted the rest of the way back to her building. I really don't want to be alone right now she thought.

Which probably explained why, at ten to midnight with eyes puffy from crying, she was in front of Killian's door, hand poised to knock.

But Emma did not "do" weak. She was strong and self sufficient. She did not cry. So why she was intending to seek comfort from Killian she did not know, but she couldn't force herself to turn around and walk down the hall to her apartment either. She knocked softly, the part of her believing this was a bad idea was convinced that he wouldn't hear such a soft knock and she could sneak away undetected to lick her wounds in peace. With a large bowl full of cookie dough ice cream.

With hot fudge.

And sprinkles. Okay fine, and most likely an extra heaping dollop of hot fudge.

The door opened, revealing a shirtless Killian sleepily rubbing his right eye.

Alarm bells went off in Emma's head. BAD IDEA! VERY BAD IDEA! Walk away, now! And yet she stood rooted to the spot, unable to stop her eyes from lingering over his bare chest.

"Emma, darling, what is wrong? You've been crying." He reached for her hand, pulling her into his apartment and softly closing the door behind her.

A jumble of words tumbled out of Emma's mouth but he only needed to make out a few to understand what happened. Restaurant. Neal. With the guys. Didn't call. Important date.

"Love, are you telling me that stupid selfish bastard stood you up?" Killian exclaimed.

Emma nodded miserably. Killian paused. "And this was an important date? An anniversary? Birthday?"

Emma sighed. It looked like it was time to share a bit more of herself with Killian. She figured she owed it to him considering she was standing in his apartment really late at night for no good reason other than she didn't want to be alone.

"So, I told you that Neal and I met when I was a teenager, right?" Killian nodded. "A couple of months after we met I found out that he had stolen some watches and hid them. We wanted to run away to Tallahassee, but we'd need the money. So…we got rid of the watches. And got caught. And went to jail." Emma couldn't bring herself to look at him. The story only got worse from here.

"Innocent Emma Swan went to jail?" Killian asked incredulously.

"You know I'm far from innocent." His eyes darkened briefly for a second but he quickly blinked it away. Now was not the time for inappropriate thoughts Jones! He chastised himself.

She continued, "But that's not where the story ends. I…I found out I was pregnant. We were both serving a year. So I gave up the baby. It was a boy. We knew we were in no place to take care of a child. So while it's not a pleasant day, Neal and I still go out to dinner on the day he was born to talk about what his life must be like now." A whoosh of breath escaped Emma's lips and with the truth out in the open she felt as though she had lost a few pounds of guilt.

The fact that Emma had a child out there didn't even sway him. She never shared much about her past and he instinctually knew not to push her. While this confession should have been startling, he felt nothing but pain for her. Pain for giving up a child. Pain for being hurt by this arse she called a boyfriend.

"Wait. Every year you and Neal go to dinner on this date. The date of your child's birth? And this year he just plum forgot? I understand now why you stay with him Emma, but you deserve so much more than this. Only a truly pathetic man would forget a day like this. Bastard!" he growled under his breath.

Emma knew she made the right decision by coming here. Killian was just who she needed to talk to about this. His intense feelings about something that didn't even involve him caused her to snap. "You're right Killian, he is a stupid bastard! I hate him and his stupid fucking face. Of all days to do this. He thinks he can just string me along. Just because we have history…"

Emma's words died on her lips, realizing that in her angered state she had begun pacing and had stopped very much in Killian's personal space. Merely a few inches separated them.

She looked into his bright blue eyes and saw a flickering of wanting but more importantly she was pity.

Emma Swan was not to be pitied. _Ever._

_"_Love…" he started.


	3. Chapter 3: crash

Chapter 3: Crash

_Take it out on me.  
And put your lips on mine.  
Let me take his wrong and make it right this time.  
Yeah, you can just come over, you ain't gotta call.  
You always got a shoulder anytime it all goes bad, when you're 'bout to break, when you're mad as hell, you can always take it out on me.  
You can take it out on me baby.  
If you ever wanna leave, maybe.  
In the middle of the night, that's alright…_

_(Take it out on Me – Florida Georgia Line)_

* * *

Without a second thought, Emma grabbed Killian's arm, closing in the small amount of space between them and crashing her lips into his, hard.

This is not what she expected her first kiss with him to be like. She'd been a lying fool if she said she'd never thought of kissing him before. Any sane woman could only take so much attention, so much flirting from a man who personified sex on a stick. She had spent the last 5 years carefully extricating herself before she began to respond to his flirty nature, which probably made her insane for keeping up this charade for _ .years_ but now it was finally over.

She figured her first kiss with him would be planned, calculated. After a meal or a movie. Once she was relaxed and her guard was down. Soft, slow, hesitant and initiated by him. Not like this.

Killian stood completely frozen as Emma's lips crashed into his. He'd been attracted to this woman since the day he first met her, five bloody years ago! She didn't react when he flirted with her and she was in a relationship (a terrible one, but beside the point) and he respected that. He _was _a gentleman, after all._But she was finally kissing him._ And with that though Killian finally reacted, tilting his head and opening his lips slightly, one hand snaking around her waist pulling her flush against him, the other tangling through her soft curls.

Emma immediately parted her lips, allowing him access to her mouth. She ran her hands up and down his arms, feeling every muscle and gave up control of the kiss. He placed light kisses across her cheek, then freed his fingers from the tangles of her curls, tilting her head back and continuing to kiss down her neck. _This is absolutely amazing_, she thought. Never had she managed to feel more wanted, desired and appreciated from something as simple as a kiss. _I am so stupid for not doing this sooner._ Her hands roamed over his chest, his shoulders, his stomach. Emma felt as though she could not physically stop herself from touching him.

He nipped lightly at the place where her collarbone met her neck and some noise he couldn't quite distinguish came from the back of Emma's throat. A sigh or perhaps a growl? He didn't have time to ponder it as she pulled his face back up to hers and kissed him again, softer but with the same intensity. Seconds or possibly even minutes passed. Emma had no sense of time. She couldn't focus on anything but his kiss. Killian matched her desire and nudged her slightly until she felt the wall against her back.

Pulling back slightly, he kept his forehead to hers as he gasped for air. He stroked the side of her face with his fingertips. Emma couldn't bring herself to open her eyes until he whispered "open up Emma" and rubbed his nose against hers. Forcing her eyes open, she was not expecting to see all of the need and desire she felt from his kisses mirrored in his eyes.

She felt her guard start to creep back up and he must have saw it too as he quickly pressed his lips to hers. Repeated, slow, gentle kisses until she forgot everything she was thinking. _This is really nice. I could do this more often_ she thought as she allowed her body to melt into his, not knowing where she ended or he began.

He must have been sharing her thoughts because he whispered against her lips. "You are so bloody beautiful Emma. I could kiss you forever."

They kissed for what could have been hours, slow and passionate then fast and frenzied, both fighting then giving up control. It wasn't until he lifted her up, to take to his bed or the couch or even just to change positions, she'll never know, did the enormity of what she was doing fully process in her brain. Pulling back from him she gasped, mumbled something that sounded like an apology and ran out the door leaving Killian staring at her in disbelief with his mouth slightly agape.

* * *

I apologize for the shortness of this chapter and some upcoming ones.


	4. Chapter 4: that bloody woman

Chapter 4: that bloody woman

A month. It had been almost an entire month since he opened his door that evening to find Emma crying.

Almost an entire month since they spent close to an hour kissing. Almost an entire month since she had started avoiding him. It was quite pathetic, really.

Her entire routine changed so she didn't have to see him. She no longer got her mail after work or went to the fitness center in the morning. It was possible she even stopped drinking coffee. The few times they had been in the hallway together she immediately bowed her head and practically ran to her apartment.

They kissed. _Just bloody kissed_. There was nothing wrong with it. That git of a boyfriend of hers didn't deserve her for one second, regardless of their history together. Surely she wasn't feeling regret at kissing him while with Neal. The man oozed slime and had probably spent more than a night or two locking lips with someone other than Emma.

Emma was skittish, this Killian knew, but even he found it hard to believe that she could show up at his door one night, initiate their first kiss and then run away like this. He had always liked her and couldn't help but wonder where a relationship between them might go. But seeing as she was in a relationship and he was a gentleman, he never pressed the issue.

Okay, that was a lie. He did flirt with her every chance he could and even earned the nickname Captain Innuendo from her, but that was as far as he took it.

No longer wanting to deal with thoughts of this incredibly confusing woman running through his head, Killian decided to shut off his brain, via multiple shots of rum. It had always been his drink of choice but tonight it did little to stop Emma from continuing to fill his mind.

_I've had enough. She's being a bloody silly lass and I'm going to make her see that. A man not willing to fight for what he wants gets what he deserves._ Killian stood up and marched down the hall to Emma's apartment. He knocked twice, politely, waiting a reasonable amount of time in between, but she refused to open the door.

"Open the bloody door Emma. I know you are in there!" he pounded harder on the door.

Mr. Porter, the man who lived in apartment C peeked his head out the door. "Everything okay out here, Killian?" he asked.

The man sobered Killian instantly. Not wanting to make a scene in front of all of their neighbors, he nodded at Mr. Porter. "Yes sir, I was mistaken that Miss Swan was at home."

_I guess this is what I deserve._ Defeated, he went back into his apartment and poured himself another large shot of rum.


	5. Chapter 5: ready

Chapter 5: ready

_Take off your coat, and baby come on in.  
Girl, let me help to get back at him.  
And I don't know why you never say goodbye…  
Whatever hell he's puttin' you through,  
I can't wait for you to…  
Take it out on me.  
And put your lips on mine.  
Let me take his wrong and make it right this time.  
Yeah, you can just come over, you ain't gotta call.  
You always got a shoulder anytime it all goes bad, when you're 'bout to break, when you're mad as hell, you can always take it out on me.  
Yeah, I'll lay you down and love you just the way you should be.  
Baby, so now that you're ready…_

_(Take it out on Me - Florida Georgia Line)_

* * *

It's eight in the morning and the bright sunlight filters into his apartment. Killian is beginning to regret that last large shot of rum as his eyes feel like sandpaper, there is a dull thud aching in his head and his mouth feels as though it is stuffed of cotton balls.

Killian drags himself to the kitchen and pours a small glass of orange juice. Popping two pain relievers in his mouth, he quickly downs the juice.

_Shower. A shower has to make me feel better._ He stumbles to the bathroom, dropping articles of clothing as he makes his way down the hall.

Standing under the warm spray the haze begins to clear from his mind. He hasn't gotten drunk over a woman since his days in college. It doesn't take long for one to learn that drowning your sorrows or desires in an amber colored liquor rarely results in the actions you wish to happen. More frequently, the exact opposite of what you want to happen is a much likelier occurrence.

While he does not understand her decision to kiss and run, nor her avoidance of him, he misses her friendship more than anything. It has been five years and he's come to rely on her being around. Not in a dependent way, but just the comfort and familiarity she provides in his life.

_She's bound to miss me too, at some point. I'll just stick it out until she comes to me. I've obviously learned its bloody useless to try to push the woman into doing anything more than she is willing to do. Including answering doors,_ he thought sourly.

Turning off the water, he grabs a towel and begins to dry off. Just as he's secured the towel around his waist he hears a startled "Oh!" And looks up to find none other than Emma Swan standing in the doorway of his bathroom. She raises her hand to her lips as a pink blush creeps across her cheeks.

He can't help but notice that even in her embarrassed state she is still looking him up and down, assessing his body. Which is probably a good sign but he dares not to make a joke and risk her running away.

He raises an eyebrow and they both being speaking at the same time, "Emma, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

Right as she says "oh god I am so sorry. I used the key you gave me. I saw Mr. Porter this morning and he said I should check on you right away."

This still didn't explain why she didn't call him or even knock. Killian waits patiently for her to continue."I knocked and you didn't answer and I started thinking all of these terrible things. I thought you were sick or hurt or something so I let myself in. I didn't think it was just something as simple as you were in the shower, I feel like an idiot."

_Interesting._ Of all the reasons he expected her to give for essentially breaking into his apartment, her being worried about him and actually admitting it was not one of them. He smiled at her warmly. "I'm fine, love. Bit of a headache but I'm sure I'll pull through it just fine. But now that you're here…"

He didn't want to push her too hard but they needed to talk. He needed to know what was going on in that pretty little head of hers, what made her avoid him._Gods, he sounded like a woman._ 'They needed to talk?' the voice in the back of his head mocked him. _Real manly there, Killian._

"We should probably talk about some stuff," she finished.

He couldn't help it. It had been so long since she was in his presence. He raised one eyebrow and donned a cheeky grin. Gesturing to the bathroom with a sweep of his arm he said "Here, love? Come on in, although you may want to take off your coat. It's a bit _steamy_ in here."

He watched Emma visibly swallow hard and the pink stain return to her cheeks.

While she couldn't meet his eye, she found it impossible not to continually stare at his minimal state of dress. Water droplets from his hair were dripping onto his shoulder and rolling down his chest. Those same droplets, or what he didn't get from hastily toweling off his chest made their way down his toned, flat stomach disappearing when they touched the soft cotton towel wrapped loosely around his hips. She swallowed hard again. _I could just follow the trail of a water droplet with my tongue…_

"Emma?" There was a very knowing smile on his lips as though he was reading her mind.

She jumped at the sound of her name, mentally kicking herself for having such a thought. Her brain tried to justify the actions. _He started it! _The grin. The eyebrow. His implications behind the word fact that he was standing in front of her, still dripping from his shower in nothing but a towel. That should be illegal. HE should be illegal. No one should be that damn attractive._Look at his face Emma. PG thoughts only. You can do this._

Releasing a long breath she didn't know she had been holding, she tore her eyes away from his body and focused only on his face. Not that it was going to help much. The man was just too damn good looking. Knowing they weren't going to get anywhere like this, Emma swallowed her embarrassment. "No, not in here and could you maybe…put on some clothes?"

"If you insist" he smirked, not waiting for her to move out of his way. Instead, he rubbed the length of his entire body up against her as he slid past her in the narrow frame of the doorway.

Her breath caught again, something like a purring noise escaped from her throat and her entire body froze in place. Grinning to himself, he just kept walking down the hall until he disappeared into his bedroom. Killian had a strong feeling they'd be doing more than just talking and couldn't help playing into the way she looked at his body. Pulling on boxer briefs, a pair of sleep shorts and nothing more he walked back into the hallway, only to find Emma still rooted in the same spot.

Grabbing her hand and ignoring the spark of electricity flowing through him from her mere touch, he tugged her along to the living room and sat her down on the couch next to him.

_This man was evil. And he desperately needed to be wearing a shirt._ How in the world was she going to talk to him about anything while he sat there partially clothed? _You could just talk with the your lips_, the voice in the back of her head piped up. _I can't even trust my own brain. This is pathetic_, Emma thought.

"So," she stalled trying to think of anything to say to explain to him why she had run or why she avoided him for so long.

"So," he mimicked, his face revealing nothing. He was not going to make this easy for her.

"Look, I have issues. You obviously know this because you wonder why I stayed with him all of the time. I could see it on your face but you never asked. Having a child had a lot to do with it, but also because I've spent most of my life alone and no, he never really did a good job of it, but Neal allowed me to feel less alone. He was more dependable than anyone else in my life ever was."

It absolutely broke his heart that a man who put the barest minimum of effort into a relationship was the best Emma had ever experienced. She deserved so much more. Someone who would wake up next to her every morning and tell her how much she was loved. How beautiful she was. Someone to be there anytime she was sad or just needed an ear, a shoulder. Killian realized he more than just strongly cared for this woman, he was in love with her. He reached out and took her hand into his, squeezing gently, then beginning to rub small circles with his thumb.

She took a shaky breath and continued, "I don't know why I came here that night. I just didn't want to be alone and kissing you…well, kissing you made me realize I felt more in that short period of time with you than I ever had in the years with him. And I panicked. My life is routine. I like it that way. I don't like sudden change. I don't want surprises, I just want a simple, comfortable life."

Somehow he had pulled her onto his lap while she was talking. He still held her one hand, still tracing circles with his thumb, but he had both of their hands pressed to his chest, against his heart. His other arm was around her, his fingertips just barely touching the small of her back. Emma wanted to stay like this forever. His eyes had darkened and he kept staring at her lips as she spoke. She could easily just kiss him now and not finish what she came here to say, but she felt as though he deserved to know what happened.

"I was really scared and when I'm scared I run. I couldn't leave here so I did the next best thing, I avoided you because I hoped if I did it long enough that the way I feel about you would go away. That I could pretend like nothing ever happened."

"Is that what you really wanted, love?" His voice was barely above a whisper. "To pretend like it didn't happen? Like I don't exist?" His voice held no pain, no anger at her choices, he was simply just questioning her.

"No." Emma admits. "I missed you. I really like having you around."

"Well, that's a bloody good thing, as I _love _having you around." He did it again, putting more meaning into one word than Emma could ever think was possible. While she was not ready for any declarations of love yet, she fully comprehended his emphasis and knew he accepted her pathetic excuse of an apology.

He was, however, shirtless and she was sitting on his lap, practically in a trance from the way he was touching her. Talking was overrated at this point. Lifting her head, she met his eyes before closing the distance between them, softly pressing her lips to his.

The kiss was slow, gentle, exploratory. Everything you'd expect a second kiss to be when both parties have spent way too much time thinking about it, wanting it. First kisses are the best, they're exhilarating, unexpected and new. No pretenses, no second guessing, just new. Second kisses are the scary ones. They hold so many unsaid words and emotions.

Emma realized this was not quite the case with Killian. An overwhelming sense of comfort came over her. Every single thing about this moment felt so perfectly right that for a second Emma wondered if there was a such thing as True Love's kiss like they talk about in the fairy tales.

"I think we were meant to spend our lives kissing, love. This feels more right than I could have imagined." He was doing it again, reading her thoughts.

Emma tried to mimic his raised eyebrow and grin "then why did you stop?"

"Saucy lass aren't we?" He asked as he switched their positions, laying Emma on the couch beneath him.

Boldened, Emma replied "wouldn't you like to find out?"

He growled at her before dipping his head and capturing her lips again with his. He was no longer being gentle, sucking and tugging on her bottom lip, nibbling at her earlobe and nipping at her neck hard enough she was positive he was leaving a mark. His hands however remained on her waist. As he made his way down her neck and across her chest, Emma pushed up against him trying to get him to touch her. His hands moved to her neck and her hair as his lips returned to hers.

It was her turn to growl,this time completely in frustration, but he still did nothing more than kiss her. She moaned, she wiggled, she nudged and the infuriating man was not taking the bait. _Why are we stuck at first base? _Emma decide she was taking matters into her own hands as she took control of the kiss, kissing him harder, pressing herself into him, trying to convince him she wanted him, needed him, now. Raking her nails down his chest, she slid her fingers under his waistband, making her intent perfectly clear.

He stilled and before she could react, he had grabbed both of her hands and now held them above her head as he stared down at her. _Well okay, this is kinda hot, I can wait to see where this goes_. Emma thought.

Then he had to go and ruin it.

"Emma love, I don't think we need to rush this. I don't want you to run away from me again. I think we should take this slow." Killian wasn't even sure where this was coming from. He wanted her, wanted her more than anything and here she was completely willing and he was the one to stop them.

Emma glared and didn't even bother to make the frustrated and annoyed whine that passed her lips. "You're being a gentleman now?!"

Mock hurt crossed Killian's face. "I am always a gentleman."

She pulled her hands free from his grasp and crossed them over her chest. "But why now? You flirt with me and tease me all of the time! You're Captain Innuendo for gods sake. And now you're being all gentlemanly? You've got to be kidding me." Emma made no attempts to mask impatience in her voice.

He leaned back and carefully regarded her, his face softening. It was really quite adorable that she was the one pushing them to go further. As much as he wanted nothing more than to carry her to his bed, kiss every inch of her body, cherish her the way that he deserved and fully claim her as his own, he knew tonight was not the night.

"Emma, I do you want you-"

"I want you too Killian. Now. So can we please move past first base?' She had never been so frustrated by this man that she was putting it all out on the line. No poker face just pure emotion.

He covered her lips with his fingers which was more sensual than it ought to be, but Emma was beginning to think anything he did would be a turn on to her.

"Love, I am going to have you. To make you feel things you have never felt before. I'll make you want me even more than you do right now and I promise with all of my heart that I will spend hours giving you pleasure but tonight is not that night. I will not have you run and hide from me again so we are going to take all the time needed to make sure you are fully past that before we go any further." He locked eyes with her making sure she understood.

"That is probably the nicest rejection I've ever had." Emma frowned. He was probably right that they should wait but for the first time in her life Emma Swan was thinking with her heart and not her head.

Killian leaned in, inches from her face with a intent stare. "I am not nor will I ever reject you Emma. This is merely a postponement."

Emma gave in. She had a feeling she could prance around naked in front of him and he still wouldn't bite. Which was really saying something for her resolve. She found in hard to believe that he didn't want her as much as she wanted him. "So now what?"

He pulled her up into a sitting position and tapped on his lips thoughtfully. Emma had to look away. _Would everything this man does be a turn on?_ "What about a movie?"

She allowed him to choose and sat patiently on the couch while popped the DVD into the player. "Lay with me?" She asked, stretching out on the sofa.

He nodded and moved her so he could fit behind her. He placed one arm on her hip and she pulled it around her tighter, interlacing her fingers with his and wiggling back against him. Emma didn't bother to watch the movie, she fell asleep almost immediately in the warmth and comfort of his arms.


	6. Chapter 6: future

Chapter 6: future

Emma felt the sunlight on her face but refused to open her eyes. She hadn't slept so well in…well, in forever. Stretching out her arm she came in contact with something solid.

"Ermph"

Stucking in a startled breath of air, she carefully opened one eye and found herself inches from Killian, in his bed. _How in the world did we end up in his bed? We were on the couch watching a movie she thought frantically. If something happened I sure as hell want to remember it!_

Her shove must have woken him up. She turned to him slowly and found the most beautiful pair of blue eyes staring back at her. His hair was messier than usual, sticking up in every which way and Emma was shocked to find him even more attractive in his just awoken state. _Does this man EVER not look good?_She was sure she looked quite frightful.

His hand reached out and curled his fingers around hers. "Hi, Gorgeous." There was no smirk, only sincerity in his voice.

Emma couldn't handle it this early in the morning. "Gorgeous?" she snorted. "I am anything but gorgeous in the morning."

He pulled her against him, resting his chin in the crook of her neck. "Oh Emma, I beg to differ. You are quite gorgeous in the morning. Or the afternoon. Anytime at all really. But when you are absolutely stunning," he paused and turning her to face him "is when you are in my bed."

Rolling away, Emma donned her most skeptical look. "Can it, Cassanova. I didn't even sleep with you and you're being this complimentary? And so early in the morning? Ugh." Secretly Emma was lapping all of this up. If he wanted to spend an entire day whispering sweet nothings to her, she'd happily oblige, but this was a bit soon and a bit overboard for…she squinted to read the clock across the room…8:23 am.

Choosing to ignore her belittlement of his feelings, pulled her against him again and began pressing light kisses on her neck. "Shall I cook you breakfast, love or would you like to go out?"

"You are really too much. I need coffee, can we go to the diner?" If he didn't stop kissing her soon neither one of them were going to be leaving the bed any time soon.

"As you wish." he replied, getting out of bed and pulling her along. "As much as I'd love to shower with you here, we both know you can't handle the sight of my glorious body and I can't have you jumping me, now can I?" He waggled his eyebrows at her.

She stood with her mouth open in shock. "Someone sure developed an inflated ego overnight."

"Close your mouth love, you look like a codfish." He smirked. "And I only tell the truth. So, go home, shower and come back here once you're done. I promise to be fully clothed as to not tempt you." He leaned in placing a quick kiss on her lips.

"You're insufferable!" she exclaimed, while walking out his front door.

-\\-

After a week had passed Emma realized they were spending pretty much every day together, and definitely every night. She wasn't sure how it happened, but each night instead of returning to their own beds alone, they stayed together.

He still had barely passed first base and Emma was beginning to go crazy. She wasn't going to run away and leave him, not for anything. No matter how hard she tried to convince him, seduce him, sway him, anything he stood his ground and did no more but tease her mercilessly with his kisses and words.

Tuesday was her birthday. He knew, and she begged him not to make a big deal about it. She just wanted a quiet night, not unlike any other night they had. Well, that wasn't completely true. She was hoping, that if there was any night where she could charm him into going past first base, it would be on her birthday.

* * *

I promise to make up for these short chapters in the future.


	7. Chapter 7: tuesday

**This chapter is why the story is rated M. **

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Chapter 7: tuesday

She awoke to him hovering on top of her, pressing soft kisses all over her face. She wiggled beneath him, causing him to sigh. _Progress? _She wondered. Slowly she fluttered her eyes open.

"Happy birthday, love." He gazed down at her with an adoring expression; something that should have made her avert her gaze, or more likely, run, but there was almost something magical in his eyes. Something that held her there, made her bold enough to look directly back at him. Every time he looked at her like she she felt warm, like she was being cocooned in a soft blanket. It was comfortable and quickly becoming familiar. It felt like…hot cocoa with cinnamon. Perfect.

She smiled at him "Thank you. So what's the plan for today?"

"First, breakfast, which I thought I'd cook so I can keep you in bed. Sounds promising?" he grinned.

"Please?" she asked. She failed miserably at inflicting any sarcasm in her voice. Instead it just came out needy.

Killian climbed out of bed and stood straight, puffing out his chest. "It really does wonders for the ego, love, knowing just how much you want me." He winked. "Do you have any traditions on your birthday?"

"Just blowing out a candle on a cupcake" she said, and with that her stomach rumbled.

"I see I best get to the kitchen to make sure my lovely Emma does not starve on her birthday. Stay there." He headed off to the kitchen.

Emma got comfortable in bed, flipping through a book she had placed on her nightstand weeks ago with the intent to read.

He brought her pancakes, bacon and fresh fruit. Coffee and hot cocoa with cinnamon as well. He was really too much. Emma was quickly becoming spoiled and not sure how she felt about that. After she ate, he cleaned up in the kitchen while she got dressed.

"I need to keep some surprises up my sleeve so I think I will take leave of you for the morning and afternoon, Emma. But we have reservations at 6, be ready at 5:30. Maybe you wish to spend the day getting dolled up for me? I promise to make it worth your while." He said with a lascivious wink.

Emma decided to take him up on his suggestion. It was her birthday after all. Everyone deserved a bit of indulgence at least one day a year. She splurged on a mani/pedi and got her hair trimmed. Wandering around the mall, a red dress caught her eye. _His favorite color is red _she thought and quickly walked into the store.

Determined to do everything in her power to make it 'worth her while' she bought the dress and then dropped a small fortune in the lingerie store, completing the outfit with a matching red bra and panty set that left little to the imagination.

She had just slipped her feet into her heels when her doorbell rang. Grinning, she opened the door. His eyes went wide and darkened and before she could blink he had pulled her against him, his lips on hers. She moaned into his mouth as his hands finally roamed all over her body. Involuntarily she pressed her hips into his causing him to deepen the kiss.

Foreheads resting against each others, both panting for breath Emma whispered just one word. 'Please?'

"Your a bloody temptress Emma." He said kissing her once more. Convinced she was finally getting her way, Emma raised her hands to his neck, untying the knot of his tie and quickly moving to unbutton his shirt. Biting down on his bottom lip, she pulled the shirt free from his waistband and began running her nails up and down his body.

Killian was caught off guard. She was being quite aggressive in what she wanted and he didn't want to deny her that at all but he wasn't convinced she was ready.

"The reservations," he murmured helpless against her lips.

Emma sighed. The restraint this man had was kind of ridiculous. She had never worked this hard to get a man to sleep with her. Lifting her hair, she unzipped the back of her dress and let it fall to her feet. Bracing herself with one hand on his shoulder, she stepped out of the dress and tossed it into the couch. "I. Am. Not. Hungry. For. _Food_." Each word came out as a hiss.

He stared at her taking in every inch of her body and the revealing lingerie she wore. _So beautiful. So incredible_ he thought.

Still not convinced Killian was going to do more than stare at her, she reached back to unclasp her bra when his arm shot out, stilling her. Before she could blink he had scooped her up into his arms and was heading to her bedroom. "You win, Emma" he growled into her neck.

Gently placing her on the bed he leveled her with a solemn look. 'I hope you remember what I said Emma. I'm going to spend hours giving you pleasure."

She shivered visibly at his words. "Nothing for you?" She asked slyly, her hands reaching for his belt.

He shook his head. "Later, love." He began pressing soft kisses across her forehead and down her cheek. As he got to her ear he whispered "I think I shall like to kiss you thoroughly from head to toe."

Switching to open mouth kisses, he trailed his way down her neck and across her chest, paying no attention to her breasts and kissing right down the center. Frustrated, Emma arched her back trying to guide him. He laughed softly and continued his way down pausing to admire her hipbone. _This looks rather tasty_, he thought and gave it a slow lick causing Emma to buck her hips and moan.

"Patience" he whispering, kissing down her leg to her toes then across to the other foot and slowly back up again, nearing her inner thigh.

Emma was so turned on she couldn't take it. Her entire body was humming with need and her patience was wearing very thin. He slowed and hovered placing the lightest kisses possible on her inner thigh before quickening his pace and kissing back up to where her bra met her rib cage. "I think it's time for this to go love" he said as he reached behind her and unhooked her bra.

His head hovered about her right breast, barely inches from touching her but he didn't move. Emma huffed and wriggled, arching her back to close the distance.

"Ah, you would like me to pay attention to this?" He dipped his head and captured her nipple in his mouth.

Emma moaned loudly and pushed her hips up to his. He alternated between lapping and sucking until Emma thought she was going to pass out from the sensations. He paused only long enough to draw his attentions to her other breast and Emma thought her eyes were going to roll back in his head. She held on for as long as she could, minutes that felt like hours before begging him to stop.

"As you wish" he replied before using his teeth to pull down her matching panty set. Crawling back up her, he placed a kiss there and she practically shot off the bed. Her hands reached out and found his belt buckle and she frantically began undoing it.

He pulled back just out of her reach. "Emma it's barely been 10 minutes. I said _hours_." He chided her.

"Don't care" she said between gritted teeth. "Do it another time. I just want you _now_."

He stepped out of her reach and finished undressing. He thought he was putting up a good front for her but he wanted her so badly he wasn't sure he'd make it through her undressing him. Crawling back into her bed, he laid at her side and kissed her softly.

"Are you sure Emma?" He asked quietly.

"I have never been more sure of anything in my life. You've been teasing me for over a week. Or five years, I guess." She moved on top of him, straddling him, waiting to move.

Killian looked into her eyes and nodded. He grabbed her hands, interlacing their fingers together Emma positioned herself and slowly slid down the length of him. She felt as though she were flying. She couldn't breathe it was such an intense feeling. Raising up she sank down again, even slower this time.

"Gods Emma" he said through half lidded eyes. She felt amazing. He never wanted this to end.

She leaned forward to kiss him and the change in angle created a whole new level of sensations for the both of them. Deftly Killian flipped them over and began to move inside her at a steady pace. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer and peppering his neck and face with kisses. Within minutes she began moaning under him, already close. "Don't stop Killian, please don't stop" she begged him.

"Come for me Emma" he coaxed her, moving his hand between them to intensify the sensations for her. Her entire body began to shake and she screamed his name biting his shoulder hard. It was too much for him as he pushed into her a final time her name ghosting on his lips.

He knew he was crushing her with the full weight of his body and started to pull back. "Not yet" she whispered tugging him back down to her, holding on so tight it almost hurt.

A few moments passed and he slowly began to feel his breathing return to normal. He nuzzled her ear "you are one hell of a woman, love" and Emma couldn't help but giggle.

"So you liked the red dress?" She teased him.

"Mmm hmm" he murmured in her ear. "And what was under it. But most importantly, you."

She kissed him long and hard and was debating on a round two when he separated them and suggested a shower. "As much as I'd never like to leave your bed, love, it is your birthday and you do have a birthday wish to make."

She couldn't keep her hands off him and round two took place in the shower; that time they only pulled away from each other when the water turned cold.

Both dressed in pajamas, she'd lent him an over-sized pair of sweatpants she kept around, they stood in the kitchen in front of her birthday cupcake.

Killian light the candle. "Hurry love, make a wish" he said.

Meeting Killians gaze, she closed her eyes and wished _I wish I won't have to be alone anymore_ and blew out the candle.

"Happy birthday, my love" he pulled the candle from the cupcake.

A sudden knock at the door caused them both to jump.


	8. Chapter 8: Henry

Chapter 8: henry

"Love, are you expecting anyone?" Killian asked.

Emma shook her head. "No. If _he_ was stupid enough to think he could show up tonight…"

"Surely I would hope the man has an ounce of common sense, darling. But hope can be hard to find, allow me to answer your door?"

She nodded again and he opened the door to find a young boy, probably around 10 years old.

"Uh hi…is this Emma Swan's apartment?" he asked. The boy was carrying a large book that appeared to be quite old and a backpack over his shoulder. Instantly, Killian had a gut feeling this was the child Emma gave up.

Curiosity getting the better of her, Emma peeked around Killian's frame in her doorway to see the boy standing there. "I'm Emma Swan. Are you lost?"

"No," he said with a grin as he pushed past Killian, currently standing there is shock, and headed into the apartment. The boy hopped up onto a bar stool, in front of her birthday cupcake. "I'm Henry. You gave me up for adoption 10 years ago. How fitting that I found you on your birthday."

"You…wait a…what?" Emma stuttered on shaky legs, reaching out to grab Killian's arm. She felt as though her legs were going to give out on her.

"Did you or did you not give up a baby boy 10 years ago?" Henry asked, plain as day, as though they were having a simple conversation about the weather.

Shocked, Emma felt herself lean fully into Killian. "I did. But why are you here?"

"Oh, because I need you to come home with me." Henry said with a smile.

"Where is home?" she asked tentatively.

"Storybrooke, Maine."

"Never heard of it." Emma said skeptically.

"I know. But it's where I'm from and I really need you to come back with me. Can I have just a bite of your cupcake?" Without waiting for a response, he took off the wrapper and bit into the cupcake.

"Love, come here a moment." Killian said and gently pulled her to the other side of the room. "You believe him, yes?"

Emma nodded. "He has his eyes."

Killian sighed. "Well love, I have not a bloody clue why he chose to show up on your birthday or wherever this town is, but I think you owe it to him to take him back, yes? I mean, he can't just get there on his own."

"Hey Kid," Emma interrupted. "Who brought you here?"

Henry grinned. "Me. I bought a bus ticket and then I paid for a cab."

Emma arched an eyebrow at Killian. "Okay, fine, so he did get here himself, but you really can't send your son off by himself, can you?"

"No." Emma said in a small voice.

"It's late. Have him stay here and you can drive him home tomorrow. I have a meeting with an author and editor in D.C. tomorrow afternoon. If there was any way I could get out of it, I would come with you, but I cannot." He looked genuinely miserable at his confession.

"No, it's okay. I should do this alone. But stay here tonight?" She asked.

"Of course, love. Of course."

"Hey, uh, Kid. It's going to take hours to Maine. Are you okay with crashing on the couch here and I'll drive you home in the morning?" Emma asked awkwardly.

"Cool! I'd love to. Can I have some juice?" Henry replied enthusiastically.

Killian poured the boy some juice while Emma rummaged around in her linen closet looking for a spare pillow and blanket.

Downing the juice in five second flat, Henry grinned up at them both and said "Thanks! I'm really tired from the bus ride here. I'm just going to go right to bed, okay?"

Emma wasn't sure what type of first impression she was giving to Henry by having Killian spend the night, but part of her didn't care. She knew tonight, of all nights, she really didn't want to be alone. Her past had finally caught up to her and now she had no choice but to deal with it head-on. Plus, Henry hadn't asked if Killian was her husband or boyfriend, and it wasn't as though he knew how early into the relationship it was for them.

Killian held her tightly, one hand gently running through her curls. It figured as soon as they made a monumental leap forward in their relationship that something would get in the way. Killian had expected it would be Neal, coming back with some sob story and trying to win Emma back. She was too smart for that now, he sensed. He knew they would always have a history, mainly because the proof was currently asleep on Emma's couch, but he got the impression that Emma might finally be able to move on from Neal.

"Do you want to talk about tomorrow, sweetheart?" he asked gently.

"There really isn't anything to say. I'll just drive him back to Maine and then come back here. I shouldn't be longer than a day." she responded.

When Emma was certain Killian had fallen asleep, she whispered. "I think I might be really falling for you and this is terrible timing."

He kept his breath even but couldn't stop the grin that spread over his face.

Henry was bouncing up and down in the front seat of her bug, ready for their trip back to his hometown. Earlier he had suggested that she bring a small suitcase of clothes, just in case she decided she liked the town and wanted to stay for a few days. Killian encouraged her, helping her to quickly pack.

Emma didn't know what to say. She sucked at goodbyes. Standing in front of Killian, she shuffled her feet, not meeting his eyes.

As though he knew, he chuckled before wrapping his arms around her and pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. "Go on, take your boy home. I'll always be here for you."

She nodded, turning to get in her car, when his warm grasp spun her back around to face him. "Wha….ohhhh" she started as his lips landed on hers.

He kissed her thoroughly, perhaps not something her son should see, but Killian couldn't let her go without a proper goodbye kiss.

Finally, he broke the kiss, pulling back to rest his forehead on hers. "I'll see you soon, Emma."

Emma smiled back at him. "You better."


	9. Chapter 9: One Year Later

**This is where the story originally ended, but DarkRoseSwan made me realize I had more of a story to tell.**

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Chapter 9: one year later

What a whirlwind the past year of Emma's life had been. Never in a million years did she expect to come to a sleepy town in Maine and find out she was the savior. And to make it worse, she surely never expected to be sent through a portal and wandering around the Enchanted Forest with her mother, Mulan and Aurora searching for a way home while trying to avoid Regina's evil mother.**  
**

She thought of him almost daily, wondering how much time had passed in their land. Wondering if he thought she really did run away for good this time. She knew she _could_ leave, well at least she could once they got back to Storybrooke, but she couldn't leave Henry forever and she knew it would make no sense to bring him into her world. What grown adult, besides herself and all these fairy tale characters, actually believed in magic?

Emma Swan figured her short but perfect past with Killian, was just that, in the past and not meant to be.

As they reached the refugee camp, they all gasped in horror. Mass piles of bodies were strewn on the ground. It appeared there were no survivors. Stunned they stand there in silence for a few moments until Aurora noticed something moving under the pile of bodies.

"Hey! There's someone under there." she exclaimed and moves quickly toward the arm she can see moving. Snow White rushed to her side and together they begin to move the bodies to find what appears to be the sole survivor. Emma hangs back in shock that anyone could have made it out alive from something as evil as Cora.

A man's figure sits up and Emma heard Snow White say "You're safe now, we won't hurt you."

The man stands up and Emma felt all of the blood drain from her face. She can say with 100% confidence that after leaving to come to Storybrooke, she fully believed she would never see him again. That had really hurt at the time, but she accepted it. The possibility that her previous life and this life, full of magic, love and hate, spells and curses would both contain this one man was simply impossible to comprehend.

Without a second thought she was running towards him. Throwing herself into his arms he staggers backward but catches her and manages not to fall. Her arms are around his neck, her face pressed into his shoulder and her legs wrapped around his waist. "Killian? Killian? Is that really you?" she exclaimed, squeezing her arms around him even tighter and turning her head to rest her face in the crook of his neck.

Aurora, Mulan and Snow White shared a very confused look, all wondering the same thing. _How in the world could Emma know anyone from the Enchanted Forest? It's not as though she grew up here._

While he has had his fair share of women in this land and many willing to throw themselves into his arms, never has he had a complete stranger, a gorgeous blonde one at that, leap into his arms with no initial provocations on his part and exclaim his given name.

Pulling back and tilting the woman in his arms he replied. "Aye lass, my name is Killian. While I have no complaints with a woman as lovely as you, throwing yourself into my arms, I must ask of you, have we previously been acquainted? It has been many a year since I have been referred to by my given name."

Emma stared back at him in shock. He merely raised one eyebrow and donned a saucy grin. It had to be him, Emma thought. _That eyebrow, that grin, those eyes. She refused to accept that more than one man as attractive as him was running around in the world…worlds._

Making no attempt to extricate herself from his arms, Emma said 'You were my neighbor back in Boston. Killian Jones, apartment E. We were…friends." They had never defined their relationship. Boyfriend didn't sound right. Lover surely wasn't something to say in front of her mother, plus it had only been that one time.

"Friends?" he asked incredulously. "Captain Hook does not make friends with women. He charms them, beds them and sends them on their merry way." There was a quite inappropriate look in his eyes and if possible, his grin got even cockier.

Emma jerked back from his arms. "Whoa buddy. Captain…Hook? Permed guy, hand taken off by a crocodile, hangs out in Neverland, Captain fucking Hook? You've got to be shitting me." She lifted his arm hoping to not find anything but his hand. That was not the case. She quickly backed away from him, putting more than a few feet between them.

Confusion crossed his gorgeous face. "No love. I am not "shitting you" as you so eloquently put it. My real name is Killian Jones but I have not heard of a realm called Boston nor am I acquainted with this perm that you speak of."

Snow White could not muffle the laughter that escaped her mouth. "I'm not really sure what to tell you Emma, I guess the realms could collide in some way…" she trailed off.

"I need a minute to process." Emma said and quickly began walking away from the group. Hook strode after her and once they were out of the line of vision of her party, grabbed her arm and pulled her flush against him. She shoved hard against his chest but he kept her close to him.

She finally met his eyes and was surprised that his saucy smirk had been replaced with a look of sincerity. "The way that you looked at me when you first saw me leads me to believe there was something of the romantic nature between us and I truly regret being unable to share the memories you have of me. Of us. Perhaps this will make me remember?"

Before Emma can react his lips are on hers and against her better judgment she's running her fingers through his hair and kissing him back. His kiss was the same as it was back in Boston so long ago. It feels so right. Emma didn't realize until that second how much she needed something from her old life.

Something as familiar as him.


	10. Chapter 10: Gone

**For DarkRoseSwan. There is _always_ more Captain Swan to share. **

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Chapter 10: gone

_I should've gone with her._

He turns the phrase over and over again in his mind as the days pass since Emma has left to take her son back to his hometown in Maine.

Since uttering the phrase the words haunt him, ever present in his mind with every minute that goes by that she doesn't return.

He tries her cell after the first week passes trying to tell himself that she's probably just busy getting her son situated. Maybe he didn't have the best home life and she was helping out his adoptive parents. He pretends that his heart doesn't stutter in his chest when the automated voice comes on telling him _The caller you are trying to reach is unavailable. _

The second week he files a missing person report. He doesn't think the police take him seriously as he is not family. "Maybe she just decided to stay with her son." "Maybe the area has bad cell reception." They tell him, but he knows its more than that.

He calls all the hospitals along the major roads from Boston to Maine. None of them have seen her or her boy.

When the police report no leads after another week has gone by, he decides to take matters into his own hands. But there is no town named Storybrooke in Maine. Perhaps he had heard the child wrong. He spends the next three weeks driving from Boston to Maine, stopping in as many towns along the way as he can. He visits the hospitals he called, puts up flyers and talks to as many townsfolk as he can. No one has seen her. It's as though she has simply vanished.

He drives through every town in Maine that starts with an "S" or a "B". She is not in any of them. Heart-broken he returns home.

He calls the leasing office of their apartment building. He is not family nor her emergency contact so the information they are willing to share is limited. She has not terminated her lease and the rent payment was made for last month. (Neal is her emergency contact. He can't guarantee that if the man were to ever show his face in the building that he wouldn't punch him until his arms gave out. Deep in his gut he knows Neal is somehow responsible for her disappearance.)

He uses the spare key to her apartment more often than he should. Sometimes in the middle of the night when he awakens from a dream of her smile only to be jolted back into the harsh realities of consciousness, he quietly walks down the hall and unlocks the door to her apartment.

Nothing has changed. Her spare bottle of perfume still sits on her dresser. The throw pillows on the couch are propped at a haphazard angle. The calendar still shows the month of October. A fine layer of dust begins to coat everything but he cannot bring himself to clean it off.

He doesn't touch anything when he is there, simply stands in the foyer or walks down the hall to her bedroom, just looking. Looking for some sign that she is going to return.

Six months pass and his editors is on the phone threatening to fire him. He can't keep missing deadlines. The authors need the illustrations for their books. He can't bring himself to care. He has illustrations, hundreds, possibly even thousands of them but they aren't just the superheroes or animals or cartoonish figures he is required to draw. She appears in all of them in some way.

Her yellow bug sits on the street in front of a toy store where a mother and child are looking in the window. Her red winter coat is worn by a rabbit trying to make a life for himself in the big city. Her green eyes sparkle on the face of a superhero about to save the world. And then there are the drawings of just her.

Her head thrown back in laughter, her eyes smiling over a steaming cup of hot cocoa, her proud stance in front of her bug. The drawings help a little. It allows him to remember what life was like when she was still here.

One year passes. It's a blustery day in October with threatening winds and gray skies. There's an electric feeling in the air, the kind that comes along with summer thunderstorms but the temperature is too cold for that. Sleet or freezing rain is more likely. _Today is her birthday. _

The shots of rum flow down his throat easier than he imagined. He wants to forget. He needs to forget. He can't handle her invading his dreams, his mind at all hours of the day. He awakes the next day, early afternoon by the position of the sun, feeling as though he has been run over by a truck. His head is pounding and the incessant ringing of his cell is doing nothing to ease the throbbing.

"What?!" He barks into the phone.

It's the police. Someone finally saw a flyer he put up. They remember seeing her and her son at a gas station, about thirty miles outside of Maine. He tries to stop it, but his heart soars. She did make it at least that far. Now he finally has something to go on. Last night he was resigned to giving up. To accepting the fate that she was never going to return and simply chose to leave him and the life she had made here in the past.

He hires a private investigator.

Her rent is stilling being paid each month. She resigned from her job via email two months after she disappeared.

A few weeks later he is alerted to the sound of furniture being moved down the hall. Throwing his apartment door open, he finds three men from a moving company packing up and taking her possessions from her apartment. He tries to stop them, begs them for information but all they can tell him is that their boss said to empty this apartment and the tenant wouldn't be there.

The investigator calls again.

A couple remembers seeing both of them in a diner off Interstate 95 near Kennebunk. The couple sat behind them and remembered overhearing some bits of conversation. The boy was saying they had less than an hour left.

"Assuming they continued to head north, that puts them around the Freeport area. I've contacted the local police there. They remember the flyers you put up but are going to start reaching out to the community. But it's been two years Killian, I don't know if we're going to find her. I'm sorry." The investigator tells him.

He refuses to lose hope. She has to be somewhere in that area. He uses all of his vacation time and goes there himself, wandering around in the town, looking for any sight of her. He hikes through all of the state parks and spends hours walking on the shores. He doesn't know why he's drawn to those two places but finds some amount of solace when he's staring out into the vast expanse of the Atlantic.

Once home again he finds himself drawn to the water. He spends hours walking along the docks, taking in the ships and sounds of the ocean in front of him. It's the only place he feels like he can breathe.

On her birthday, five years after she disappeared, he stands on the pier at the harbor. His fingers twist over the small piece of metal in his pocket, turning it over and over again between his fingers. When it warms up he pulls it from his pocket holding it in front of his face.

The gray skies and dark clouds that have appeared on her birthday every year since her disappearance are present once again. But as he holds up the small piece of metal, the clouds part and a ray of sunshine beams through and lands on it, making the object sparkle.

Years ago this simple act of Mother Nature would have given him hope. Made him believe that the clouds had parted and the sun had broken through while he was holding something of hers meant she was nearby, meant that it was sign he would find her soon. But five years of dead end leads left him bitter and jaded. He knew he couldn't continue like this.

Winding his arm back, he threw the spare key to her apartment as far out into the water as he could. The ray of sunlight followed it as it soared through the air and landed with a satisfying plop into the water. The clouds shifted and it was dark and gray again.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, he turned to make the long walk back home.

* * *

**Angst really isn't my thing to write, so if this isn't too believable, I'm sorry!**

**Additional Author's Note: fantasylover4evr asked how Killian can be in both worlds and I realized I intended to explain that later in the story but it doesn't come up for a few more chapters and it's not good form to leave you all confused. Captain Hook was in the Enchanted Forest with Cora when Regina cast the first curse, however while everyone else went to Storybrooke he went to Boston and became Killian Jones. When Emma and Mary-Margaret fell through the portal, it brought him back to the Enchanted Forest. As for the time difference, it's simply a mistake in Regina's curse. She'll explain it in Chapter 17. **


	11. Chapter 11: chance encounters

**I don't know why, but when I started adding more chapters I thought I wasn't writing in past tense and I wrote a bunch of new chapters before I realized it. Instead of changing them all I decided I'd just offer you a note that starting with chapter 11 and going to the end of the story, it will no longer be in past tense. I apologize, as this is a pet peeve of mine while reading other stories.**

**Also, this chapter is where I start to follow the OUAT story line so here's that pesky disclaimer that I own nothing. **

* * *

Chapter 11: chance encounters

He's done some pretty unpleasant things in his life, but lying under a pile of dead bodies definitely ranks in the top three things he never wishes to do again.

He hears their voices in the distance, muffled by his position, but he tries to estimate how close they are. The footsteps, once crunching loudly over twigs and dry leaves, come to an abrupt halt and he knows they are now taking in the gruesome scene in front of them. Shoving the body on top of him slightly to the right, he wiggles his fingers.

"Hey! There's someone under there!" comes a high-pitched female voice. He can only hope it is this savior girl Cora has spoken about. It would be quite disappointing to be found by anyone other than the woman he is to con.

The footsteps come closer. The weight on top of him decreases as the bodies are pushed aside. "You're safe now. We won't hurt you." A petite woman with short hair and a motherly tone tells him as she pulls him into a sitting position.

He adopts a bewildered, fearful expression and gets shakily to his feet. He takes in the princess standing next to the petite woman who appears to be examining him for wounds. She's in a full gown, hair swept up as though she were attending a ball. Behind them there are two more women. One dressed as a warrior and the other, blonde with sparkling green eyes on an unusually pale face. Then she is running; running right toward him. His right hand swings to his hip, only realizing too late that Cora has ridden him of his sword.

He barely has time to look up again before the blonde has leapt toward him, her arms wrapping around his neck and her legs around his waist. Instinctively he catches her and feels the tension leave her body as his arms wrap around her, only stumbling back slightly from her assault.

She buries her face into his neck and lets out a long sigh. He can feel her lips smiling against his skin. "Killian? Killian? Is it really you?" she exclaims.

He wracks his brain, trying to remember when he possibly could have encountered a woman such as this and why he would have told her his given name. His mind comes up blank. He has a feeling his plan with Cora isn't going to go as easily as either of them have expected. "Aye lass, my name is Killian. While I have no complaints with a woman as lovely as you, throwing yourself into my arms, I must ask of you, have we previously been acquainted? It has been many a year since I have been referred to by my given name."

She stiffens in his arms, but only slightly before pulling back slightly to meet his eyes. He can see the faint glimmer of hope that he will remember her. But behind that is the same lost look he knows resides in his own eyes. While he may not have a clue as to who she is, he knows better than to ignore the little voice in the back of his head telling him to ally with her instead. Resorting to his old ways, his eyebrow quirks up and he offers her his most salacious grin.

He expects some reaction from her but she just continues to take in his face, making no attempt to remove herself from the intimate way she is clinging to him. "You were my neighbor back in Boston. Killian Jones, apartment E. We were...friends."

He instantly picks up on her hesitation before defining their relationship. Whomever this woman was with, they were more than just friends and he should play this to his advantage. "Friends?" he asks incredulously. "Captain Hook does not make _friends_ with women. He charms them, beds them and sends them on their merry way." He says with a wink.

That did it. Her legs and arms simultaneously unwrapped from around him, propelling her body backward. (He wasn't expecting to feel a distinct loss as she moved away.)

"Whoa buddy. Captain...Hook? Permed guy, hand taken off by a crocodile, hangs out in Neverland, Captain _fucking_ Hook? You've got to be shitting me." Her eyes are flashing angrily as she reaches out to grab his left arm, pulling it up in front of her. He expects her feminine features to be marked with disgust as she takes in his missing limb, but it is only pure and simple shock that crosses her face.

However, he can't stop the smirk from appearing on his face at her language. There is an overwhelming feeling to protect this woman that he can't shake. "No love. I am not "shitting you" as you so eloquently put it. My real name is Killian Jones but I have not heard of a realm called Boston, nor am I acquainted with this perm that you speak of." He says gently.

The petite brown-haired woman clears her throat, startling him. He had momentarily forgotten they weren't alone. She appears to muffle an amused snort based off the expression on her face. "I'm not really sure what to tell you Emma, I guess the realms could collide in some way…"

_Emma. _She _is_ the woman Cora told him to find. (At least that much had happened correctly.)

"I need a minute to process." Emma says, quickly walking away from all of them.

In that moment he no longer cares about revenge. Cora, the compass, vengeance on the Crocodile; it all fades away. All he can think of is making sure that the blonde vision swiftly walking away from them is okay. Without a second thought, he takes off after her.

He catches up to her quickly, reaching out to grab her arm once they are out of the line of sight of her companions. A gentle tug and twist and she's flush against him. Her hands come up immediately to push him away but she hesitates. He can tell from the frown on her lips she is having a hard time separating him from the man she once knew.

"Look at me." He murmurs, hand and hook coming to rest on her waist.

He watches the top of her head patiently, waiting for her to meet his gaze, offering her a sincere smile. "The way that you looked at me when you first saw me leads me to believe there was something of the romantic nature between us and I truly regret being unable to share the memories you have of me. Of us. Perhaps this will make me remember?"

Not wanting to give her the opportunity to deny him, he only pauses half a second before ducking his head and capturing her lips with his. He does not her to respond favorably but after one loud thump of his heart, her arms are going up around his neck, fingers running through his hair.

His fingers find her chin, tilting her head slightly so he can deepen the kiss. Her grip around him tightens and he finds himself willing himself to remember any part of the gorgeous blonde kissing him as though her life depends on it.

She breaks the kiss, resting her forehead to his as she gasps for air. He notes that her fingers are still in his hair, absentmindedly twirling the locks between her fingers. He feels terrible. Kissing her was a horrible idea. He still has no idea who is she but with every swipe of her tongue, every movement of her lips he could feel her desperation for him to remember.

Slowly he opens his eyes to be meet with her piercing green ones. She is looking at him with a reserved amount of hope. His fingers come up to tuck her hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry, love. I want to remember you but I simply do not."

He watches as she erects walls around her like earlier when she breaks their physical contact he feels the loss. She offers him a fake smile."No big deal. I don't really know how all of this magic stuff works so I'm sure it's just some weird coincidence that you look and sound exactly like a guy I used to know."

"It was more than that." He says softly.

She looks at him over her shoulder, already beginning to head back to her group. "Yeah. It was, but it doesn't matter now."


	12. Chapter 12: Hurt

**Hi there! So what did you think of the premiere last week? I gotta admit, I wasn't super impressed. But I do like Cruella's sass. Anyway, here is the next slightly angsty chapter. **

* * *

Chapter 12: hurt

If she rolls her eyes one more time today there's a likely chance they're going to roll right out of her head. She's done with this magical world and everything in it. Chimera and Killi-_excuse me, Captain Hook_-are at the top of her list.

She just wants to go home. Her _real_ home, back in Boston. Not the crazy town of Storybrooke where she's supposed to be some Savior running around giving people their happy endings. She doesn't need villains and fairy tales and books that show her in a basket on the side of the road.

She doesn't even know if he's still there. The real Killian. The last sane thing to happen in her life.

Her mother and Mulan are arguing about who is going to climb the beanstalk with Hook. With another roll of her eyes she stands up. "I'm going." She says loudly, interrupting them.

"Emma…" her mother starts.

"No. I'm going. We're getting this stupid compass and then we're going home." She feels bad when her mother's eyes light up at the word _home._

"I was hoping it'd be you." He says with a wink.

She fixes him with a glare and holds out her arm for a - _what else_ \- magical cuff that will allow her to climb a beanstalk.

The climb is grueling. In her previous life, she spent a fair amount of time at the gym but nothing prepared her for this. It was like climbing a neverending weave of ropes all while the oxygen levels thinned around you. _I guess even magic can't prevent that. _

He's tried to engage her in conversation quite a few times during the climb but she has chosen to respond in monosyllables when responding at all. It's easier to focus on climbing. Hand, foot, pull, hand, foot, pull.

Finally they reach the top. Heaving herself over the wall, her palm catches on a thorn of the beanstalk. He notices immediately.

"Giants can smell blood." He explains, removing his scarf.

She nearly kicks him when he pours rum over the scrape across her palm. She didn't even realize she had muttered something about him being a gentleman until he winks at her while tying the scarf around her hand with his teeth.

She is in no mood for his flirtations. "Whatever. We have a compass to find."

It pains her to admit that she is impressed with how he took on the giant. So much so that she almost forgot to throw the sleeping powder Mulan had given her. He's babbling on about something when the glimmer of the trip wire catches her eye. Without a thought, she's hauling him against her. Of course, _of course _he thinks she's randomly decided to come on to him as though piles of gold and treasure have suddenly become aphrodisiacs. Unwrapping her arms from around him she steps back and points. "Trip wire." She says, dully.

-\\-

She is not, repeat NOT, being taken down by a giant. Unable to move her arms and too far away to kick him, she uses the only other weapon she possesses. Her teeth. She bites down as hard as she can into the soft flesh between the giant's thumb and forefinger. With a cry, he drops her and she's reacting almost without thinking, activating the trip wire and capturing the giant in his own device.

Hook is looking at her with a mixture of awe and pride. "That was bloody brilliant!" He says, taking her hand to extricate himself from the rubble.

"I'm sorry." She mutters, handcuffing him.

"You're going to leave me here to die?" She can't miss the incredulity in his voice.

"You're not going to die. I just need a head start." She confesses.

Squeezing her eyes tight as he calls out to her she forces herself to head back out of the giant's lair and back down the beanstalk to where her party is waiting.

-\\-

_Just as I am done with you._ The words shouldn't hurt. They're coming from a man she doesn't even know. A man who wants nothing more than to secure passage with them for the sole fact of killing Mr. Gold. He won't even tell her why but she is certain it has something to do with the name inked on his arm.

The words do hurt though. As much as she tries not to, she keeps picturing _he_r Killian saying them.

-\\-

_When I jab you with my sword, you'll feel it. _

Now that she's safely back in Storybrooke, she's gotta give it to him. That wasn't a half bad line given the circumstances that they were all running around a portal like some insane magical version of Duck, Duck, Goose. Begrudgingly she also concedes that he did earn a brownie point or two for returning Aurora's heart to her, even if he was the one to take it in the first place.

She is still desperate to return to Boston. Seeing him, in any form, has only increased the desire for her to return home. She pulls her cell phone from her pocket, scrolling through the contacts until she lands on his name.

When she first got to Storybrooke, she intended to call him right away and let him know she'd be staying a little longer than a week, but one excuse after another stopped her from making the call and then another week went by. And another and another and then it felt as though too much time had passed. What would she say? How would she explain a town that he couldn't see, let alone enter?

It rings once, twice. An automated voice comes on the line. _The number you have reached is no longer in service. _

She tries to pretend that it doesn't hurt. That although she never asked him to wait for her, he still would. That he would be different and unlike anyone else and still be there for her.

She falls into a restless sleep, filled with dreams of him, some as Captain Hook and some as the Killian she once knew. In one, he is yelling at her for never calling. In another he's telling her that it's okay and he knew she would come back sooner or later. But there is one dream that wakes her up from a dead sleep, tears streaming down her face, heart painfully thudding in the otherwise silent room.

He had been standing on a pier on a gray and stormy day. His eyes lacked their usual spark and sported dark shadows underneath. He was thinner and even through his coat she saw how his shoulders were hunched forward in defeat. Setting his lips into a grim line he pulled something from his pocket and threw it into the water. As it sailed through the air, she realized it was the spare key she had given him.

**Review? **


	13. Chapter 13: be a part of something

Chapter 13: be a part of something

"_I love you, too." _

She shook her head. _No, she was not going to continue to remember that. _Neal had only told her he loved her because she had said it first and she had no idea why she even said it. Probably because he was going to die and it just seemed like the right thing to do, to tell a dying person that they were loved.

It wasn't even that she was still in love with him, she wasn't, and hadn't been in quite some time. If she was being honest with herself, she hadn't actually loved him since they were first together. Although giving up Henry had been a mutual decision, she has always resented Neal for putting her in that position in the first place. He was supposed to be older and wiser and someone to look out for her, but he had failed on all accounts. Age did not equal wisdom and her stupid youthful trust had left her pregnant and alone in jail, taking the blame for a crime she hadn't even committed. But no matter how much she resented him, Neal was the only stability she had ever known and for that alone, she stayed with him in the pathetic excuse of a relationship they maintained until the night of Henry's tenth birthday when he completely forgot the significance.

Her confusing past with Neal was the least of their worries though. Since she and Mary Margaret had returned from the Enchanted Forest, Storybrooke had been a crazier than usual place.

Hook and Cora and found a way to come there. Hook was dead set on his goal of revenge, to the point where he followed them to New York to kill Gold, which only resulted in her mother killing Cora which was just so unbelievable that she refused to even think about it. However, Hook was not defeated and simply went after Gold again, shooting Belle and making her fall over the town line where she lost her memories. As though that wasn't enough, Hook also managed to get himself hit by a car.

A car, which came from outside of Storybrooke, the town that no outsider should ever be able to enter. And then there was Tamara, the woman who pretended to be Neal's fiance, but was actually working together with Greg, the man who had driven into town. They had gotten their hands on a fail-safe which would return anyone not born in Storybrooke back to the Enchanted Forest.

She refused to ever leave Henry alone again. This was not going to happen. They were going to stop it.

-\\-

It's not oxygen being sucked out of the air, its the magic, Regina tells her as they reach the glowing diamond in the mines. It dawns on her that Regina's goodbye to Henry was not just a simple goodbye where she intended to see him again later. She was planning to sacrifice herself to save the rest of them.

"What am I supposed to tell Henry?" She asks.

"Tell him that in the end, it wasn't too late for me to do the right thing." Regina replies.

"Regina, please…"

The other woman shakes her head, not willing to back down.

-\\-

She doesn't even know why she's trying to reason with the man. Physically and vocally he is just like the Killian she left in Boston, but nothing else is the same. This man is intent on revenge and cares only about himself, not anyone he may hurt in the process.

"We understand each other. Look out for yourself and you'll never get hurt, right?" She asks sincerely and can see when the words hit home, a brief flicking in his eyes, the only reaction she receives.

"Worked quite well for me." He replies, trying to look completely unaffected by their circumstances.

"Yeah, until the day that it doesn't. We're going to do this. It might be stupid, it might be crazy, but we're going to do it. So, you can join us and be a part of something, or you can do what you do best and be alone." She says, imploring him to understand.

"Quite passionate, Swan." He says, conceding and handing her the pouch with the magical bean.

-\\-

The last thing she remembers is coming into the mines with her parents and Henry to stop Regina from sacrificing herself for the town. She slowly gets up, brushing the mine dust from her jeans and shaking her head to clear the fogginess that resides. Vaguely she hears her parents stirring. She needs to make sure Henry is okay.

"Henry?" She calls, looking around for him. Who knows how far back the vibrations of the mine could have thrown him back.

Her eyes land on an object, Henry's backpack, and she feels her stomach drop. "They took him."

She takes off running, not caring if anyone is following her and not bothering to explain. She reaches the docks in record time, only to see Henry with Greg and Tamara at the edge of the docks. "Henry!" She screams.

He doesn't even have the chance to turn and look at her. He is wedged between his captors, one of whom has just thrown something into the water and by the change in the air pressure, Emma knows they have opened a portal. Before she can take a step, a leap, anything to get closer to her son, the captors have jumped off the edge of the docks, taking her son with them. The swirling vortex of the portal has stopped by the time she reaches the edge.

-\\-

"What's that?" Belle asks. She and Mr. Gold had joined them at the docks right after Henry had been taken.

Emma lifts her head to look out into the expanse of water in front of them. Her heart stutters for a second. He's come back. "Hook."

She refuses to dwell on the fact that a man so hell-bent on revenge and saving his own life, has turned around his ship and come back.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She asks as he takes long strides across the deck of his ship.

"Helping." He replies as though it's obvious.

"Well, you're too late." Regina tells him blandly.

She can't let it go. "I thought you didn't care about anyone but yourself." She presses.

He regards her carefully before reaching into the pouch and pulling out the last magical bean, the only way she can get to her son. "Maybe I just needed reminding that I could." He says honestly, looking directly into her eyes.

-\\-

She's come to realize that since entering this town, any thought she could never previously believe, has managed to come true. Standing on the deck of the Jolly Roger with her parents, the Evil Queen and Rumplestiltskin is enough to make her head spin. A truce of sorts has been reached between them, Hook no longer willing to kill Mr. Gold and Regina no longer willing to kill Mary Margaret. A strange group of people, allies and foes forced together for the simple sake of trying to save her son.

She is still too wary to trust Hook. Her lie detector didn't go off when he said he needed reminding but it wasn't enough for her. She was still too upset from losing Henry to fully trust her intuition, especially after her own mother had previously doubted it.

She heads below deck, needing to get away from everyone else. They're here, in Neverland, but no closer to getting to her son at the moment. Mr. Gold has disappeared, saying he's going to find Henry on his own, but his wardrobe change to Rumplestiltskin-esque gear has crushed any amount of hope she had put into the slimy excuse for a man. She starts doing chin ups, anything to keep her mind from panicking that they will never find Henry.

She senses she's not alone. His footsteps were too quiet to hear over her panting breath but she can smell the faint hint of leather and rum in the air. "What do you want?" She asks.

"To give you something." He replies, before crossing the length of the small room. "You know, Balefire and I once spent a lot of time together." He continues.

She wants to know more, about what happened during that time. All she knows from Neal is that he left home because of his father but not specifically what he had done. She won't ask him though. "He always always 'Neal' to me." She says coldly.

"This was his." He says, handing her a cutlass.

"I didn't realize you were sentimental." She quips.

"I'm not...I just thought you could use it where we're going. You know...to fight." He says sincerely.

She regards him carefully, not detecting any malice in his intent. Finally she speaks. "Thanks."

He shrugs, pulling the cork out of his flask of rum with his teeth and holding it up. "To Neal." He says, taking a hearty swig before holding it out to her.

For a second she hesitates, but finally decides to give in. She may not trust him or know what his real intent to be on this island is, but there is no need to outwardly make another foe. She takes the flask and echos him before gulping down some of the amber colored liquid. "To Neal."

* * *

Some notes: First, I'm sorry! I hadn't realized nearly a month had passed since I last updated this. I spent a ton of time working on it over the weekend and I believe this is going to end somewhere around 40 chapters. First drafts are complete through chapter 22. I plan to update with at least 1 chapter a week.

Second, I've finally went through and updated the first 9 chapters to remove (hopefully all) of the typos and other errors. If you follow this story, I'm sorry for the bombardment of emails you received.

And lastly, some story related info: I know in 3x04 Emma says she still loves Neal, but that doesn't work for my version of the story. For the most part, I'm going to follow the story line of OUAT sans that little bit. Going forward, the chapters will switch between Emma and Killian's POV's. After deciding to continue this, I wanted to really fill in the gaps from what you saw on screen as to how they both felt.

Thanks again for sticking with me through these sporadic updates!


	14. Chapter 14: neverland

She holds the blank piece of parchment before her. Pan had claimed that it contains a map that will lead them to Henry and all she needs to do is stop denying who she really is. Which is much easier said than done, considering saying she is the savior, something she doesn't really believe in nor is it something she wants to define her, has not yielded any results on the map.

She doesn't want to admit it to the group, but Pan has shaken her confidence. She stupidly listened to Regina to enchant the map with a locator spell and all it did was leave them fighting lost boys, which was much more terrible than it sounded. The lost boys are just that, boys-children, but they fought to kill without remorse or regret in their eyes. Beyond that though, the despair in their eyes, that lost look mirrored in her own eyes was something she simply couldn't shake.

She saw him watching her from a distance as though he knew what she was feeling. But it only amplified her hopelessness and confusion. Her parents didn't get it, eternally optimistic and never losing hope. Regina was the last person she'd ever confide in, knowing her words would only be twisted around to be used against her later from the bitter and jaded woman full of evil tendencies. She wanted Killian, her Killian from Boston.

Despite her desire to be alone, her mother sits down on the log next to her. "That boy, why did you stop fighting him?" She asks.

"Cause he was...just a boy." Emma replies.

"No." Her mother prods. "There was more than that. I saw it in your eyes. Why did you stop?"

_Fine._ If her mother _really_ wants to know why she stopped fighting the boy, she'll tell her. She had tried so hard to spare their feelings, not wanting to further hurt her parents, but if Mary-Margaret was really going to press her, then she was going to get the truth.

"The look in his eyes..the despair. I had it back when I was in the foster system. Just a little lost girl who didn't matter and didn't think she would." She says, angling her head away from her mother before continuing with the words she knew would hurt but that she could no longer hold back.

"A little girl who cried herself to sleep at night because…" she pauses, trying not to allow her voice to crack, to show the emotions she had kept secret for so long. "She wanted her parents so bad. And could never understand why they gave her up."

The silence hangs between them for a moment and Emma begins to regret sharing her true feelings but then her mother finally speaks. "And then you found us. But it was too late." She says quietly.

The words tumble from her lips. "It's just...on this island, I don't feel like a hero or a savior. I just feel like what I've always been. An orphan."

"Emma." Her mother says.

She closes her eyes briefly, trying to think of how to re-word what she has just said to make it sound less...mean. She never intended to hurt her parents with her words, but this was the truth. Her entire life she was an orphan. Finding them now means nothing. Her entire childhood was still spent as an orphan and that's the simple truth of it.

"What?" She finally asks, steeling herself for the onslaught of emotions her mother is bound to throw at her.

"Look!"

The blank parchment has finally transformed into a map, showing the details of the island and a path that she can only assume will lead her to Henry.

"What happened?" She asks, dumbly.

"You accepted who you are." Her mother replies.

The words hang heavily between them. "I'm sorry," she says, knowing the words aren't enough.

Her mother offers her a small smile. "It's okay. It's the truth. You were an orphan. It's my job to change that."

-\\-

"The map is working." She says to the group.

Regina is ready to set off immediately, to follow the map, regardless of what they may encounter along the way, with no set plan in mind. Her father persuades against it, saying that they need a plan and Emma agrees. They already followed Regina's plan once, by enchanting the parchment and look where that got them. No closer to Henry than before and they had pissed off Pan in the process. They needed a new plan.

She can't hide the surprise on her face when Hook agrees with her. "Excellent show of patience, love. And _that's_ what defeats a nasty boy."

"I hope so." She admits.

"So how did you unlock the map?" He asks genuinely curious.

"I did what Pan asked." She replies, being intentionally vague.

"And just who are you, Swan?" he asks, teasingly.

"Wouldn't you like to know." She deadpans.

With a sincere smile and a teasing tone he replies "Perhaps I would."

-\\-

It's hard to be hopeful here. The sun never really shines here, the silken rays unable to make their way through the dense trees and shrubbery to the rocks and hard ground below. The breeze barely makes it through as well, only softly whispering through and never enough to be refreshing. The humidity is persistent during the day, never ceasing and instead weighing down so heavily on the thin air that does make it through the trees. At night it gets cold, bitterly cold and much like one would expect on a frozen tundra and not a tropical island. Thankfully the breeze still doesn't make it through at night, but the temperatures plummet far enough to catch any unsuspecting visitors off guard, puffs of white air coming from their lips.

In a way, she is thankful Hook is with them and he has been here before. Navigating this treaturous island, even with magic, is not something she even wants to think about doing alone. He knows the safer places to walk, which berries are edible and which are poisonous. He knows which large tree leaves provide the best warmth and comfort when they lie down to camp.

Realizing that even Neal had given up hope in counting the number of days he had been on the island hurt her more than she imagined. The feeling of hopelessness didn't just end with her. It extended to anyone who came to this dreadful place under happy pretences that their childhoods would be so much better without their parents telling them what to do.

"Swan?" he inquires.

"What? We're wasting time." She says impatiently.

"I...I just wanted to let you know that I do know what it feels like. To lose hope." He confesses, trying to appeal to her emotions.

"I know what this is. This...you...this is you trying to bond with me. So, save your breath. I'm not in the mood." She pushes past him to get back to the group.

-\\-

"Hook...he saved my life." Her father declares once he and Hook have returned from their mission to find the sextant.

Her eyes swing to his, catching the surprised look on his face.

Her father continues. "We were ambushed by lost boys. But Hook, he risked his life to stop me from getting hit by a poisoned arrow. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be alive. You flask, please." He finishes, gesturing to Hook.

Uncorking the flask, her father smiles at the incredulous looks on the women's faces. "I thought he deserved a little credit."

"Thank you." Hook says with a shy smile.

The others have moved on down the trail. Emma knows she should let this one go, but she finds herself unable. Taking a swig from his flask, she asks "You really saved his life?"

His body is angled away from her, staring into the dense trees ahead. "That surprise you?" She doesn't miss the self-deprecation in his tone.

"Well," She says, stepping forward to hand the flask back to him. "You and David aren't exactly...how do you say it... mates?" she teases in a terrible imitation of a British accent.

She expects at least a smile in return but he only averts his eyes from her for a few seconds before returning them to her again. "Doesn't mean I'd leave your father to perish on this island."

"Thank you." She says sincerely, smiling.

She watches as his hand comes up to scratch behind his ear. "Well," he practically whispers. "Perhaps gratitude is in order now." He dons a cheeky grin and taps on his bottom lip.

Her eyes widen and her lips curve into a smile at the brazenness of his request, but she can't find it in herself to pull away. The flirtations between them are pulling her in closer to him, like the ebb and sway of the tide. "Yeah, that's what the 'thank you' was for."

"Mmm." He says with a grin, eyebrow quirking up. "That's all your father's life is worth to you?" He asks, stepping even further into her space.

Her eyes flicker to his lips for just a second. "Please." She retorts with a shake of her head. "You couldn't handle it." But she finds herself even closer to him, barely a foot of space between them.

"Perhaps you're the one who couldn't handle it." He challenges, popping the "t" and locking his eyes intently on hers.

She stares at him for a few seconds, trying to figure out what he is trying to do. They've already kissed, when they first met and it did nothing to bring back the Killian she once knew. In this moment, she doesn't care.

One brief thought crosses her mind. _Fuck it. _

And then her hands are reaching out, one grabbing the lapel of his coat and the other cupping the back of his head as her lips crash furiously into his. He doesn't react at first, almost frozen in time until her teeth nip at his bottom lip. His hand finds her hair, pulling her into him as he deepens the kiss.

She pouring every ounce of emotion she possesses into the kiss. Hope, desire, impatience, anger and indignation. The kiss is unlike the one they shared before. The air between them is electrically charged, nearly crackling as they connect. She is somewhat disoriented, feeling as though the earth is spinning off its axis and she can't tell the sky from the ground.

They stumble backward slightly and it is enough to break the kiss. Her forehead is pressed to his, her fingers still tightly curled around the lapels of his coat as though she is trying to keep him there forever. "That was…" He starts, completely unsure of how to finish that sentence.

Against every fiber in her body telling her to fuse her lips to his again she completes his sentence. "A one time thing." And then she is quickly backing away from him and into the forest to find the others before she finds herself kissing him again.

"Don't follow me." She says, once her back is to him and her mind has cleared slightly. "Wait five minutes and then go find some firewood or something."

"As you wish." He replies.


	15. Chapter 15: going home

**So sorry for the delay in updating! Last week passed by way too quickly!**

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Her heart is pounding and she can still taste his lips on hers, still smell the faint tang of salt air and rich aroma of the rum. She wanted to believe it was a mistake to kiss him, but she can't find it in herself to dredge up any regret. She hadn't been kissed like that or felt anything like that since kissing her Killian back in Boston for the first time.

That did hurt though. That an identical man could look the same, kiss the same and make her feel the same way all while having no memory of their time together. She briefly wondered if there was some magical potion that could give him those memories but she had no proof he was actually the same man, so there was no use.

His words sparked hope in her. Only once in the years she had known Killian in Boston did she ever mention watching _The Princess Bride _movie. She didn't even own the DVD, but it was one happy memory she had in foster care and it provided her with the smallest amount of hope that she too, one day, would be loved.

-\\-

"What's going on?" Her parents and Hook appear to be having a secret conversation and she knows no good can come of it.

They flounder for a response, babbling about firewood and water and she just stands there waiting for someone to tell her the truth. Upon hearing that Neal is alive and on the island, she almost wishes she never asked. She does not want to see him again, does not want to remember that she told him she loved him, does not want to even allow any memories of their time spent together to invade her brain. However, he is the father of her son and there are struggling marks on the ground so the might as well go save him.

Trying to think of happier things, she quietly confesses to her mother the kiss she shared with Hook, hoping maybe it would return the easy friendship they shared prior to her breaking the curse. However, it only serves to make her feel worse when her mother brushes off the kiss as a mistake and reminds her of Neal. She wants to tell her the whole story, how he strung her along, how she was never able to let go of the resentment for giving up Henry, how she went to jail because of him and how without so much as an explanation him simply fell off the face of the earth after not meeting her for dinner on Henry's birthday, but the words don't come out. She's hurt her mother enough with the confession of being an orphan that revealed the map, the truth about her life with Neal can wait for another day. Preferably one far enough in the future that they've found Henry and are back in Storybrooke. Or perhaps once she returns to Storybrooke this time, she'll actually go home this time. To Boston where she can leave this insane savior lifestyle behind.

-\\-

"I kissed Emma." He says and she whips around to face him, incredulous look on her face. _Really? He had to go and admit that in front of her father? It was bad enough telling her mother had unfavorable results. _

"I already told Mary-Margaret. Technically it's not a secret." She replies as her mother tries to calm down her father. "But it was just a kiss. How is that your darkest secret?" She asks, unsure of if she really want to know the answer.

"It's what the kiss exposed. My secret is, I never thought I'd be capable of letting go of my first love...to believe that I could find someone else, until I met you." He says, looking at her earnestly.

She regards him curiously before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, trying to think of her deepest secret. Her mother goes next, revealing that she wants another child and its as though all the air has been sucked out of the room. On some level she understands, she gave up Henry and didn't get to see him grow up, didn't get to hear his first word or see him take his first step or pack his first lunch for his first day of school but the words cut deep. Her parents missed all of those firsts with her and now they want a new baby, not a twenty-eight year old broken, distrustful woman unable to call them mom and dad, to share all of those firsts with. She wasn't good enough for them as a baby, she wasn't good enough for any of the foster families to keep her, she wasn't good enough to keep Henry, she wasn't enough to keep Neal and now even as an adult, she's still not good enough for her parents to want her.

She vaguely hears her father speaking, nearly missing that he wasn't on a search for a sextant with Hook but that he had been hit by a dreamshade arrow. The potion Hook gave him to cure him meant he was stuck here forever. It just kept getting worse. Not only did her parents want to replace her with a new baby but it wasn't even as though they were going to do it in the same realm as her. If they were lucky enough to get Henry back and get off this island, she'd be going without them.

Steeling herself, she decides that is fine. It will be much easier to return to Boston if there are less family members to leave behind. She takes long strides across the newly formed pathway to the cage where Neal resides. Seeing him turns her stomach. Despite everything he has put her through, she knows her secret is going to hurt him and she still doesn't want to do that.

"When I found out you might be here and that you might still be alive, I was terrified. I knew I should probably be happy that Henry could have two parents now that we were in the same town and everything, but I just wasn't. When I saw you again and when you fell through the portal it hurt. It brought back all of the pain I felt before. I don't want to feel that again. So my secret is, I wanted it to be a trick. I wanted you to be dead." She says in a rush, knowing if she pauses for a breath or allows him to interrupt, she'll never get it all out.

The cage around him falls apart and he's pulling her into a hug. Confused, she allows him to wrap his arms around her, her arms going around him involuntarily, but she feels nothing in his embrace. "Thank you." He tells her.

She just wants to get Henry and leave. Being around Neal makes her feel sick. She can barely bring herself to listen to him as he explains what the coconut they found in his treehouse was for. Hook immediately says that he'll join them in the Dark Hallow and she's grateful. She doesn't want to be alone with Neal, doesn't want to allow for any further conversations about what she told him in the Echo Caves to come up.

Emma quickly realises it just won't be that easy. She picks up on the tension between the two men and asks Killian what is going on.

"I assumed you told him of our shared moment...because I was hoping it meant something." Killian tells her.

"What meant something was that you told us Neal was still alive. I realize you could have kept this information to yourself, but you didn't. Why would Pan even tell you?" She asks, curiously. He had briefly filled her in on what happened between him and Neal on the way to Neverland and she knew it was not a happy moment. There was no reason for him to anyone that Neal was here or alive.

"It was a test. Our relationship did not end favorably, but I know he's the father of your son. Despite what did or didn't happen between the two of you, Henry is a very lucky lad to have both of his parents here trying to save him and when we get off this blasted island, it's only fair the lad can spend time with both parents. Pan wanted to see if I'd leave Neal to die. Especially since he has an interest in the same woman as I...don't look so surprised." He tells her.

"Well, you _are _a pirate." She regrets the words the second they fall from her lips. In spite of his actions in Storybrooke, since turning around his ship, Hook had done nothing to make her doubt him. She knew it was dangerous and not at all the right time, but his unwavering confidence in her was beginning to knock down her walls.

The sincerity in his face startles her. "I am. But I also believe in good form. So when I win your heart Emma...and I will win it...it will not be because of any trickery. It will be because you want me."

She searches his face, looking for any hint of untruth and finds none. Subsequently, she realizes she believes him. Her life was full of broken promises, making her jaded and unwilling to believe what others told her but there is something about his faith in her that makes it impossible for her to think otherwise.

However, old habits die hard. Protecting herself and her heart come first. "It's not a contest, Hook." She hisses.

He tells her that she will need to choose and she argues that she only needs to choose the best way to find Henry as he is the most important person in her life right now.

"And you will." He states confidently.

For a rare moment, she allows her guard to drop. She wants to believe that they'll find Henry, but her parents earlier confessions has caused her confidence to waiver. "You think so?"

"I have yet to see you fail."

-\\-

His words stick with her providing her just enough support to think they'll make it into the Dark Hallow and capture Pan's shadow, but it quickly fades away as she realizes the two men fighting over a lighter and the shadows are quickly closing in on them. They tell her to run, to save herself but she is rooted to the spot. It's Hook's name that falls from her lips as the shadow rips at him and suddenly she's full of rage and fear to the point where her skin is tingling. It's only then does she notice that she's managed to light the coconut candle. The shadow is being pulled to the flame and she can do nothing but watch as it comes closer and closer and then she's slamming down the other half of the coconut much harder than needed, but the shadow is trapped and now they have a way off this terrible island.

-\\-

They know where Pan has taken Henry and split up to take him home. Gold has begrudgingly agreed to create an elixir that will allow David to return to Storybrooke and survive. It all happens so quickly, they're rushing in to save Henry and the next thing she knows, they're all aboard the Jolly Roger again. Regina is casting a spell over Henry's heart so no one can ever take it again and Gold is capturing Pan in Pandora's box and Regina is capturing him in the sail.

Standing on Storybrooke soil should feel good, or at least better than she felt in Neverland, but Emma has a nagging feeling something is not right. She knows Henry has been through a lot, but he immediately asks to stay with Regina and wants next to nothing to do with the storybook that she usually had to pry out of his hands.


	16. Chapter 16: perhaps I would

**We're going to backtrack for this chapter and the next two to cover Killian's POV. After Chapter 18, I'm going to try to keep it to one chapter each since it could get confusing if I can't update regularly. **

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chapter 16: perhaps I would

He hadn't been the same since arriving in her town. It took a fair bit of convincing Cora to still bring him along and he intended to exact revenge on Rumpelstiltskin the moment he arrived, but it felt as though this town was keeping him from just that.

Every heavy coin of gold, every glittering bauble, every strand of diamonds and gemstones came with a plan. A well thought out, carefully extricated plan. Shooting Belle at the town line was as uncharacteristic as he'd ever been in quite some time. He was desperate and full of rage after his earlier encounter with the Crocodile and he simply reacted on those emotions. It did serve one purpose, to show the Crocodile he was not bluffing.

Following them to New York was yet another mistake, as his plan relied on finding the Crocodile alone so the dreamshade he coated the end of his hook with would kill the man before anyone could find him. Of course, Emma, her son and a grown up Balefire were with him, thus foiling his plan again.

Finding out that they had taken his ship back to Storybrooke greatly wounded his pride but further piqued his curiosity about the so-called Savior of the town. Finding a cloaked vessel and successfully navigating her home (even with the experience of Balefire) did not seem like something the law-abiding Sheriff and Savior of the town would have any experience with.

Desperate to end his revenge once and for all, he teamed up with Tamara and Greg, two outsiders determined to remove magic from the town. Only when he realized that he'd need to die in the process did he decide to rethink his plans and try to align with the group of heros only to keep himself alive.

_So you can join us and be a part of something, or you can do what you do best and be alone. _

He never intended for her words to cut him so deeply, but she had nailed the truth. They were alike in the fact that only looking out for themselves meant they never got hurt, but it was a lonely existence.

However, these so-called heroes had even less of a prepared plan to escape the coming curse than he did to exact revenge on Rumplestiltskin. While her words may have rang true, their plan involved a gamble on his life he wasn't willing to take.

"Quite passionate, Swan." He says, handing over the leather pouch to her.

Magical bean securely in his hand, he quickly made his way to the docks and boarded his ship. Even without a crew it only took him mere minutes to prepare her to set sail, destination unknown but taking a direct course out of the cursed town.

He could still see the harbor when her voice began to flood his mind. _Be a part of something. Let go of the revenge. Dead guy of the year. _Gritting his teeth, he continues on, steering the vessel toward the open waters.

Barely twenty miles off the coastline, he gives in. Her words have been incessant in his head. As much as it pains him to admit it, his quest for revenge isn't nearly as strong as it was before he had an actual way to get to Rumplestiltskin. He finally admits to himself the reason why his hastily initiated plans did not come to fruition was not entirely because of their haste, but because his heart wasn't quite in it anymore.

He couldn't help but notice the irony. Centuries of revenge were based solely on the fact that Rumpelstiltskin had removed Milah's heart from her chest and crushed it in front of him. Yet for some reason, here in this town, the desire for revenge wasn't nearly as strong. Of course, he still wanted the man dead, but no longer found delight and amusement in thinking up creative ways in which to end his life.

With a great sigh and a shake of his head to confirm he really was going to go back into a town on the brink of destruction, hand and hook turned over the wheel of the ship until he had turned the Jolly around and was heading back into port.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She asks bitterly. He is somewhat surprised at her reaction, assuming she'd be glad to see him, seeing as he was now doing exactly what she had asked of him.

"Helping." He replies, taking in the forlorn looks of everyone on the docks.

"I thought you didn't care about anyone but yourself." She presses.

Honesty and sincerity overcome him. He pulls the magic bean from an identical leather pouch and holds it out to her. "Perhaps I just needed reminding that I could." He says, meeting her eyes.

He finds out that Greg and Tamara have taken her son and jumped into a portal, destination unknown. He finds himself offering up his ship and services to take them wherever they need to go. He even agrees to a truce of sorts with the Crocodile.

While they've all run off to gather supplies and clothing, he's realized he's doing this for her and for her alone. Even with their limited interactions, he knows she doesn't trust easily and he has an overwhelming desire to change that. It shocks him at first, that he's becoming less and less like the man hell-bent on revenge and turning back into the man who cares about good form. His conscious simply won't allow him to deny her a reunion with her son, no matter where it takes them and no matter what they must endure to save him.

All of these revenge-less feelings are making him emotional. He watches as she quietly slips below deck away from the rest of their group. Setting the _Jolly_ to sail on their intended course unmanned, he waits until the others are preoccupied enough not to see him follow her.

He can't help but grin when he sees her doing chin-ups. "You know, Balefire and I once spent a lot of time together." He starts, unsure of if this is the best topic of conversation.

Her eyes show interest but her response is cold indicating she has no desire to discuss the man they both knew. "He was always 'Neal' to me."

"This was his." He says, handing her a cutlass.

"I didn't realize you were sentimental." She quips, but takes it from his outstretched hand, her fingers gently running over the protective but ornate sheath.

"I'm not...I just thought you could use it where we're going. You know...to fight." He says sincerely, effectively masking the shock at how easily she honed in on his sentimentality toward the boy he once knew.

Desperate to get back on more even ground, he pulls out his flask as she thanks him. "To Neal." He says, taking a hearty swig and holding it out to her.

"To Neal." She echos before taking a swig of her own.

He bites back a smile. Finding a lass who didn't wince when drinking rum was rare enough, but honestly, he expected no less of her.

-\\-

Good form returns to bite him in the ass once again as they arrive in Neverland, the one place he swore he'd never return. But he made a promise, to help her find her son and his slowly returning conscious would never let him live with himself otherwise.

He's unable to tell if the island is more dank and depressing than when he left it, or if he's just arriving in slightly better spirits this time around. The journey here had been less than pleasing, his heart nearly jumping out of his chest when Emma dived overboard with the mermaids to stop the bickering of their group.

He fights with himself over the rapidly developing feelings he has for her. Of course his interests were instantly intrigued the moment she leapt into his arms in the Enchanted Forest, but her determination and bravery facing the giant and now Pan only continues to make her more attractive in his eyes. He's used to women falling at his feet after a wink and smile, but his charms appear to be lost on her. She rolls her eyes and nails him with one sarcastic comment and insult after another, but it only increases the thrill of the chase. She is a challenge and a mystery he is determined to unravel.

He can't help but constantly gaze in her direction as she holds the blank piece of parchment. She looks lost and scared, desperate and anxious. They are feelings he knows too well. He finds himself speaking to her in his mind as he looks at her. _You can do it Emma. Pan is a nasty being but your perseverance and wit will get you through this. Just admit to yourself who you really are, darling. No one, not I nor your parents can hardly fault you for whomever you truly are. You can reveal the map._

"The map is working." She says and it takes everything in him not to wrap her within his arms. He knew she would make the map appear. He settles for offering her a wide, genuine smile instead.

Regina is ready to set off immediately with no plan in mind. He opens his mouth to suggest otherwise, but Emma beats him to it. He finds himself grinning once again.

"Excellent show of patience, love. And _that's _what defeats a nasty boy." He says, unable to keep the pride from his voice.

She looks at him skeptically, confused at his tone. "I hope so."

The others are busy packing up their belongings, leaving him alone with her. He choses not to question why she has not joined the others and opts for conversation instead. "So how did you do it?" He asks curiously.

"I did what Pan asked." She replies, offering him no further information but her tone does not indicate the conversation is over.

"And just who are you, Swan?" he finds himself asking in a light, teasing tone expecting some sarcastic quip in response.

"Wouldn't you like to know." She deadpans and begins to turn away from him.

Desperate not to end their brief conversation just yet, he offers her an easy smile but his words are sincere. "Perhaps I would."


	17. Chapter 17: as you wish

chapter 17: as you wish

"What if I told you there's a way to save you?" He hears himself asking. The words surprise him, the other man just finished telling him that he had no chance with his daughter and he was _nothing but a pirate_, but he can't just let the man die when he knows how to save him.

Of course, it's not nearly that nearly that easy. Emma obviously inherited her stubbornness from her father. David simply can't tell his family he's dying of dreamshade. Killian thinks for a moment before quietly extracting the insignia from his inner pocket and dropping it near the other man, hoping he'll see it.

Thankfully he does and it only takes a minute of goading him with a non-existent sextant to get him to agree to go to Dead Man's Peak. He avoids their gazes as David explains to his wife and daughter why they're going to get the sextant alone.

-\\-

"Emma would never leave her son." He bites out in response to Pan's offer. While he wants nothing more than to get off this island, leaving the others, her son included, is just not an option.

Pan doesn't let up, suggesting that he kill David as well, then warning him about the repercussions of not following his orders. The simple act of bringing the flask of rum to his lips provides enough distraction to block out what Pan is saying until he finally takes his leave.

David makes his way up the path seconds later. It's not until they're standing in front of the branch-covered waterfall that he lets on of the previous conversation.

"Then you know I didn't agree." Killian replies.

"Yeah, you also didn't disagree." David counters.

-\\-

He carefully hacks through the branches to get to the waterfall that will keep David alive. "In this canteen is the water that will save your life...but there's something you need to know first. Because it's magical properties come from this island, once you drink the water, you can never leave Neverland."

"It's a small price to pay for what I get in return...the chance to save my grandson and to help my family get home." David replies before taking a large swig of the water. "One question...why risk your life for me when there wasn't anything for you in return?"

Killian stops himself before rolling his eyes. Instead he smirks at the other man. "I didn't do it for you mate."

-\\-

"Hook...he saved my life." David says when they reach the group again.

"You sure you wanna tell them that, mate?" Killian asks confused.

He stands there embarrassed at the attention as David fabricates a tale where they were ambushed by lost boys and he risked his life to save the other man. Unable to respond, he just stands there, eyebrow quirked in surprise until David asks for his flask and toasts him, passing it around to the others.

Emma takes the flask last, leaving them with a rare minute alone. "You really saved his life?"

Her skepticism wounds him more than he cares to admit. He finds himself facing away from her, staring into the dense forest, knowing if he met her eyes, he'd be tempted to tell her the truth of the little adventure with her father. "That surprise you?" He asks.

She steps toward him, hand outstretched to return the flask. "Well...you and David aren't exactly...how do you say it? Mates?" She teases in a poor imitation of his accent.

He hesitates for a second. Was she just flirting with him? "Doesn't mean I'd leave your father to perish on this island." He says seriously.

"Thank you." She says sincerely, smiling at him.

He could have - should have - just left the conversation at that. Even if it was only minimally, she was warming up to him slightly which was more than he expected (but not more than he dared to hope) but the cheeky side of Killian Jones just couldn't be subdued.

"Well…" He started, swaying slightly towards her. "Perhaps gratitude is in order." He offers his most seductive smoulder, tapping his bottom lip for emphasis.

Her eyes widen in surprise and he fears he's pushed her too far, but her lips curve up just slightly as she steps closer to him. "Yeah. That's what the "thank you" was for."

"Mmm." He muses, inching closer to her. "That's all your father's life is worth to you?"

When her eyes flicker to his lips for a fraction of a second, his heart stops. He fully expected her to brush off his flirting when he mentioned gratitude but he quickly realized he is constantly underestimating Emma Swan. He finds himself mere inches from her.

"Please." She retorts with a shake of her head. "You couldn't handle it." She challenges.

The tension between them is palpable. He's never backed down from a challenge, much less one issued by a gorgeous, intriguing blonde and he's not about to start today. "Perhaps you couldn't handle it." He calls her bluff with a pop of the "t".

Time stops. Her eyes are locked intently on his. He waits patiently to see if she really will put her money where her mouth is, so to speak. The constant drone of buzzing insects is drowned out by the pounding of his own heart. He doesn't see it coming. At first he doesn't even feel the tug of her fingers in the lapels of his coat, hauling him to her or the pressure of her lips crashing hard into his. When her teeth nip at his bottom lip its as though he's a drowning man and she's the last gulp of air. He finds his fingers tangling in her hair as she's bumping her nose into his, dominating the kiss.

Her lips part, she's deepening the kiss and he feels himself swaying, his knees weak and barely able to hold him upright. Light flashes behind his eyes as memory after memory comes rushing into his mind like waves upon a shore. The spark he felt when their hands first touched after he saved the little girl in the creek. The dizzy, breathless feeling that overtook him the first time she gave him a genuine smile. The rage he felt toward Neal when she came to him late that night. The heady feeling of their first kiss. The sheer amount of willpower it took not to give into his more carnal desires with her and then the overwhelming feeling of bliss and completeness when he finally did. Shock and surprise at finding her son at her apartment door. Loneliness and despair in the years he searched for her after she disappeared.

She breaks the kiss, pressing her forehead to his. Instinctively he leans into her, despite the onslaught of memories, he only wants his lips pressed to hers again. "That was…" he starts, unsure of how to tell her what has happened.

"A one-time thing." Her words barely register to him but the loss from her backing away shakes him from his reverie. She's already put a few feet of distance between them when all he's managed to do is bring his fingers to his lips, relishing in the fact that she was just there seconds ago. "Don't follow me. Wait five minutes and go get some firewood or something."

He responds without thinking. "As you wish."

He barely has time to deal with the jumble of memories invading his brain when Pan appears again, telling him that Neal is alive and on the island.

He takes more than the five minutes she asks of him, slumping down onto a fallen tree, fingers repeatedly running through his hair as he tries to make sense of what just happened.

It takes him a while to realize he has two sets of memories, each as different person. In one set, he is first Killian Jones, the naval lieutenant who lost his brother on this dreadful island and who became Captain Hook. The man who had no qualms taking a woman away from her unhappy marriage until the day it came back to haunt him, the Crocodile crushing her heart before his eyes. The memories get hazy after that, his stay on this island the first time amount all blurs together. He doesn't even recall the specifics of how he ended up on Cora's good side (only vaguely remembering Regina sent him to take her heart and he failed) or how he came to be standing next to the woman, essentially frozen in time under a magical shield and being told he had to wait twenty some years before he could exact his revenge on the Crocodile. There are memories between that time and Cora instructing him to hide under the pile of freshly massacred corpses.

The other set of memories are of him as Killian Jones, living in Boston as an illustrator for children's books. He remembers making the decision to leave England and start over again in America after a particularly bad break-up but there are no details of the relationship nor a family that he left behind. It seems as though his memories started just before meeting Emma that summer day. He remembers her leaving, remembers searching for her and hiring the private detective, but the memories end with him throwing her spare key into the harbor.

He can only assume Regina's curse that brought them all to Storybrooke caused his appearance in Boston but he doesn't understand why he didn't end up with everyone else. Realizing he has spent much too long pondering these recent events and the others are surely wondering where he has gotten off too, he quickly grabs some dead branches and makes his way back to the group.


	18. Chapter 18: confessions

**Don't hate me? **

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chapter 18: confessions

When the group comes into view again, he briefly sneaks a glance at Emma and knows now is not the time to tell her that his memories of their life together in Boston have returned. If Pan is telling the truth, which he can only assume he is, Neal is not only alive but on the island.

He hates the man for the pain he put Emma through in Boston, standing her up on the night of their child's birthday but he finds his hatred runs even deeper for the man now that he knows he is also the son of Rumplestiltskin.

It will be hard enough for Emma to deal with Neal being here so Killian decides to wait. Once her boy is rescued, once they are back in Storybrooke and all is well again, then he'll tell her he remembers. After all, he is nothing if not a patient man. But perhaps he can at least save her some pain by having her parents relay the news to her instead of doing it himself.

Which is how he finds himself standing in front of Prince Charming and Snow White, speaking in hushed tones. "Pan paid me a visit. He, uh...he told me that Neal is alive and that he's on this very island."

They don't believe him of course. "He was shot. He fell through a portal. No one could survive that." They decide not to let Emma know just yet, just in case Pan is playing another one of his devious games.

It takes all of five minutes for Emma to determine something is going on that she isn't privy to. He's impressed with her deductive skills but chooses to watch her face carefully as her mother tells her that Neal is alive. Shock, anger and hurt cross her face but nothing more.

They opt to follow the tracks left behind by the Lost Boys dragging Neal away. Killian is surprised when he overhears Emma confess to her mother that they kissed. Mary-Margaret's response about true love however leaves him pushing his hook into the palm of his good hand. Not enough to wound himself, but just enough to puncture the skin slightly, allowing the anger flowing through his veins an outlet. It's sad really, how much Mary-Margaret ignores the words falling from her daughters lips and wrongfully assumes her happy ending is with a loathsome excuse of a man not worthy of the brave, independent woman standing before her.

When the track marks end at the entrance to the Echo Caves, Killian groans. He's been here before, as Captain Hook, and nothing short of a true confession will allow them to move forward. He panics momentarily, knowing that this is not the time nor the place to confess his returned memories. He can only hope that seeing as he is here as Captain Hook and Pan is not aware of his Boston life, a confession from Captain Hook will be enough.

"The only way to rescue someone from inside is to reveal a secret." He informs the group.

"A secret? That's all." They reply and he's hard-pressed not to roll his eyes. Of course that's not _all. _They're in Neverland with _Pan _the most abominable creature to exist (save for the Crocodile).

"Your darkest secret." He continues. "Echo cave devries its name from an old saying, 'the deeper the lie, the more truth in its echo'. The cave demands that you reveal a truth about yourself, a secret that you would never admit to anyone."

"This is ridiculous." Emma exclaims.

He agrees with her of course, wanting to do just about anything other than reveal a secret in front of her parents. "Don't kill the messenger, love. Pan wants us to rescue Neal because he believes that once we reveal our secrets, they will destroy us."

He stands back, allowing them to enter. Neal is being held captive in a cage on a column of land not much bigger than the cage itself. Nearly one hundred feet separate Neal from the others. They start discussing how to get across and he cuts in.

"I told you what needs to be done." No one offers to go first, so with his stomach in knots that this secret will not be enough, he takes the plunge. "I kissed Emma."

She turns to him, eyes wide with surprise. Her father is floundering, taking a step forward as though he's going to take another swing when Emma speaks. "I already told Mary-Margaret, so technically it's not a secret."

Out of the corner of his eye he sees David spluttering, his wife's hand on his arm keeping him in place. "But it was just a kiss." She continues. "How's that your darkest secret?"

His good hand slides into his pocket, his first two fingers crossing over one another. He takes a deep breath, hoping this is enough. Hoping he doesn't need to confess more than he is ready to. "It's what the kiss exposed. My secret is, I never thought I'd be capable of letting go of my first love...to believe that I could find someone else until I met you."

The ground shakes and a pathway from where they are standing juts out toward where Neal is caged. He lets out the breath he wasn't aware he was holding and slowly raises his eyes to hers. She's looking at him curiously, but she doesn't speak.

Mary-Margaret goes next, revealing her desire to have another child and it takes everything in him not to rush to Emma's side as he watches her face fall. Despite knowing it is only the deepest of secrets that will provide passage to the other side of the cave, he wishes Mary-Margaret could have said something else. She was looking at her husband when she spoke, not even aware that her confession caused her daughters face to crumble. Not aware that her confession only further reinforced the notion with Emma that she was nothing more than a lost girl, unwanted by everyone. Killian could see it though, because he too had been left alone and knew the feeling.

He winces when David tells the truth about their brief excursion to Dead Man's Peak, wishing he could spare Emma from all of this pain. She meets his eye with a look he can plainly read. _They'll discuss that later_. The path across has connected to where Neal is caged. Only Emma's secret remains. He is relieved that her secret doesn't need to be aired to everyone, only to Neal to break him free of the cage. Even though he knows Emma was happy in their barely formed relationship in Boston, he doesn't know if he could stand it if her secret involved her getting back together with Neal.

Whatever it is she says, it breaks open the cage and Neal is wrapping his arms around her. She hugs him back and Killian forces himself to turn away.

-\\-

Neal tells them that the coconut shell he fastened as a boy will capture Pan's shadow and then they can escape from the island, but it involves going to the Dark Hollow, the once place Killian truly intended to avoid on this return trip to Neverland. He still doesn't trust the man and despite whatever Emma may have revealed to him as her darkest secret, he's not letting her go off to the Dark Hollow alone with him.

"My cutlass. You find it in the cave?" Neal asks.

"No, actually Hook gave it to me." Emma replies.

"I thought Emma would wish to have something to remember you by." He says by way of explanation, wishing he had his memories then and had thought better than to give her the cutlass.

Neal sneers. "Oh. Thanks. She has me now."

"What was that about?" Emma asks him, quickly picking up on the tension between both men.

"I assumed you told him of our shared moment...because I was hoping it meant something." Killian replies, honestly.

"What meant something was that you told us Neal was still alive. I realize you could have kept this information to yourself, but you didn't. Why would Pan even tell you?" She asks.

"It was a test. Our relationship did not end favorably, but I know he's the father of your son. Despite what did or didn't happen between the two of you, Henry is a very lucky lad to have both of his parents here trying to save him and when we get off this blasted island, it's only fair the lad can spend time with both parents. Pan wanted to see if I'd leave Neal to die. Especially since he has an interest in the same woman as I...don't look so surprised." He replies.

"Well, you _are_ a pirate." She counters and he feels his stomach drop. How easily it would be to confess everything to her, to tell her that he remembers.

"I am. But I also believe in good form. So when I win your heart Emma...and I will win it...it will not be because of any trickery. It will be because you want me." He watches as her breath catches and her guard slips just a bit, allowing the full meaning of his words to seep through. He can tell she's hesitant to believe him but he knows he's at least made enough of an impression that she won't easily overlook his words.

She tells him it's not a contest and foolish pride overwhelms him. He realizes that even if he were to confess his memories to her, things wouldn't go back to the way they were between them in Boston. The walls that he spent years knocking down by being there for her as a friend had been rebuilt stronger than ever in her short time in Storybrooke. In his heart, he knows that she will never end up with Neal, that the years of pain he caused her are too much to overlook, but that doesn't stop the words that fall from his lips. "You'll need to choose, Emma. You know that, right? Because neither of us will give up."

"The only thing I have to choose is the best way to get back to my son." She states defiantly and embarrassment washes over him. Of course her son needed to be her top priority. He knows that and has known it all along, despite his recently gained memories.

"And you will." He replies confidently.

"You think so?" She asks him. For a brief second, he watches her confidence falter. He remembers how she once told him that everyone had always doubted her. A child in the foster system who would never grow up to be anything, to be anyone that mattered. Never to make a difference.

He makes a decision in that split second that no matter what happens between them and no matter what needs to be done to get off this forsaken island, that he will spend every second he can instilling the confidence in her that she will succeed and that she is worthy enough for her parents, for happiness, for love. Knowing that telling her that would only cause her to further retreat from him, he decides to inject some levity into the conversation. "I have yet to see you fail." He says, making sure she is meeting his eyes and can see the truth in his statement. "And when you do succeed, well...that's when the fun begins."

The scene he makes with Neal in the Dark Hollow is embarrassing enough that he prefers not to think about it. He's never fought another man for a woman's affections and he surely isn't about to start now. He does take some small amount of satisfaction in the fact that it was his name, well his moniker, and not Neal's that Emma yelled as the shadows were attacking them.

-\\-

"Regina, may I have a word?" He asks quietly, hanging back from the others. He detests even asking her of this, but the only other person who could possibly offer an explanation is Rumplestiltskin and he is definitely not about to ask him.

"What, pirate?" The queen asks with disdain.

He smiles easily, hoping this will entice her to provide him with information. "I was hoping you might be able to explain something to me about the curse." When she just continues to glare at him expectantly, he continues. "When you enacted the curse, I was in an area of the Enchanted Forest with your mother. She saw the curse coming and provided some sort of counterspell so we wouldn't be taken to Storybrooke as well. However, I believe I was transported somewhere else instead."

He can see he has piqued her curiosity. She gestures with her hand. "Continue Captain."

"Emma was living in Boston when Henry came to find her. I was there as well. I was her neighbor. We were friends and had just...started a relationship. She was only supposed to be gone a week to take Henry home, but it was much longer than that. I know at least five years passed and then the next thing I remember, I was with your mother again, hiding under a pile of corpses." He explains.

"And you had no memory of Ms. Swan when you met her in the Enchanted Forest?" Regina asks.

"None." He says sadly. "She recognized me though and I had to tell her I had no idea who she was. I don't remember anything between your mothers counterspell and then meeting Emma in the Enchanted Forest."

"When did you get back your Boston memories?" The queen inquires.

His hand comes up to scratch behind his ear. "Errr...the other day when David and I returned from searching for the sextant. Emma and I spoke of my saving him…" he trails off, not wanting to share the intimate moment with a woman who despises them both.

"You kissed. And all your memories came back." She filled in.

"Errr. Yes. But she kissed me when they found me in the Enchanted Forest. Why didn't it happen then?" He asks.

"There was a connection this time." The queen explains. "The previous kiss was one-sided. She felt emotions for you as she knew you previously. You felt nothing for her. Yet this time, am I right to assume that you now have genuine feelings for her?"

He nods.

"Well, you're more connected than I imagined." Her upper lip curled in distaste. "The bond you share with Miss Swan is stronger than the curse I cast. Instead of it leaving you in the protected area of the Enchanted Forest with my mother or bringing you to Storybrooke with everyone else, it transported you to Boston to be near Miss Swan. Had I known such a thing could have happened, I'd have killed you when you failed to remove my mothers heart. However, what's done is done. I would further assume that when Miss Swan and her mother fell through the portal to the Enchanted Forest, the bond between you two brought you back there as well. And regardless of what you and my mother did to get to Storybrooke, you would have made it there no matter what." She paused to roll her eyes and smirk at him. "It appears the pirate and the savior are destined for each other...how disgusting."

His fingers curled into a fist and his hook pressed sharply into his thigh. He swallows hard before responding. "One last question?"

She nods.

"The time frame. I know five years passed between Emma bringing Henry back to Storybrooke and me finding myself in the Enchanted Forest again."

"A random mistake within the curse, I believe. You did not spend twenty-eight years in your Boston life and the timelines of your two lives had to line up again before you could be transported. It was only six months that passed between Emma arriving in Storybrooke and her trip to the Enchanted Forest." The queen answered him.

"Thank you." He says sincerely then realizes he doesn't want anyone else to be privy to this information. "Could you…"

"Keep this to myself? It's not as though I care to admit any failings in my curse so its not just in your best interests that your little tale stays between us, pirate." She sneers before increasing her stride to distance herself from him.

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**I'm sorry to everyone who wanted Killian to get his memories back and tell Emma right away. He will tell her eventually though, I promise. And at least now you know why Killian in Boston searched for Emma for 5 years. When I made the decision to start this story up again, this was the chapter I couldn't wait to write. It is by far my favorite of the entire story (so far) so I hope you like it too! **


	19. Chapter 19: good

**I can't believe the finale is tonight! I'm equally excited and anxious to see where this is going to go. I've also managed to stay off Tumblr for the last week+ so I haven't even seen any spoiler pics/clips. **

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chapter 19: good

"But bad things do keep happening." She tells her father as they stroll across the grassy area near the docks.

"So do good things. But if you think like that, you'll miss out. You know, you gotta look for the moments." He explains.

"Moments?" She asks.

"Yes, life is made up of moments. Good ones, bad ones, but they're all worth living." He says.

-\\-

She stands on the town line with her parents and Gold, who is holding Pandora's box. He explains that if Pan is released outside the town lines, he won't have magic and they won't need to fight him. She argues that she needs to be the one to do it, the other side of the town line being her area of expertise and finally Gold relents, handing her the box.

The box opens and the body of Pan rolls out, his back facing her. She draws her gun immediately, keeping it at chest level, not willing to take any chances that he could still retain magic. But the word that falls from his lips nearly causes her to drop her gun.

"Mom?"

It's Henry. All along she's known something wasn't right, despite everyone else telling her she was wrong. She may not have been a mother very long but she damn well knew when there was something wrong with her son.

Her parents and Gold aren't so quick to believe, but when Henry repeats back to her that the reason she gave him up was to give him his best chance, they finally agree it is Henry.

But its too late. Pan has already cast another curse; they can see the swirling green vortex coming from the forest. David, Neal, Hook and Tinkerbelle manage to get the wand of the Black Fairy which allows Gold to return Pan and Henry to their rightful bodies. Henry also manages to get the scroll, the same on Regina used to cast the initial curse.

Gold informs her she can undo the curse, but it will come at a price. They all meet in the center of town but before Regina can do anything, can explain what will happen, Pan appears and freezes everyone.

If she could move her face, her jaw would have dropped in surprise when Gold announced that he and Pan were both going to die. It does actually drop when Gold twists the dagger into the other man's back and they're both engulfed into a golden light until they disappear, the freezing spell no longer valid if Pan no longer exists.

The curse nears closer and Regina finally explains the price that comes with her stopping the curse, she must say goodbye to the one thing she loves the most, but not only that, anyone born in the Enchanted Forest will return there as Storybrooke was only a creation of the curse and not an actual town. She tells Emma that Henry will remain because he was not born in the magical world and Emma will stay with him. It will be as though Emma never gave him up all those years ago in the hospital with the flickering lights, the handcuffs leaving welts on her arms as she struggled to breathe through the contractions.

"I don't want to. We'll go back with everyone." She practically pleads to Regina but the other woman tells her it is not an option.

"Emma, you have to go." Her mother says softly.

"I just found you." The words spill from her lips. She stopped searching for her parents after her twenty-first birthday, figuring if she hadn't found them by then, they didn't want to be found or they no longer existed. Then, all of this had happened. She was just beginning to feel comfortable in their presence, to really accept that these two people, two royals who nearly the same age as her, were her actual parents.

"But I'm supposed to bring back the happy endings. This isn't a happy ending!" She can no longer keep the panic from her voice.

Her father tells her that she can be happy; be like everyone else and be happy with Henry, but it is not enough. It's not what she wants anymore but she doesn't have a choice. They can't stay in the cursed town, not knowing what Pan's curse will bring to them and she can't leave Henry and go with her parents, even if she was born there. There's nothing to do but say goodbye and there is nothing she hates more than goodbyes.

Her car is pulled right up to the town line, just waiting for her and Henry to drive off into an unknown future together. The curse nears closer and she has never felt so unsure or hopeless in her life. She thought her time in foster care was bad, always feeling unwanted and abandoned but knowing that she had to willingly leave the family she had just found was much worse. It's easier to just be numb, to feel nothing so she forces herself to block out her emotions. They won't do her any good anyway.

She turns toward her car when Hook steps forward. "That's quite the vessel you captain there, Swan." He teases and she's grateful he's keeping things light. She can't handle anything else right now.

It feels awkward to say goodbye to him, the words just won't form on her lips.

He turns serious, lowering his voice and closing the small amount of distance between them. She notes his eyes look slightly glassy but not red-rimmed like hers and everyone else. "There's not a day that won't go by that I won't think of you." He nearly whispers.

Of their own accord, her eyes flicker to his lips. Her first thought is to kiss him, to give the one person who hasn't judged her a proper goodbye but she can't kiss him in front of her parents, or Neal or Henry because she knows the second her lips touched his, she would fall apart. And what is the use? A kiss wouldn't stop the curse and it wouldn't give them anymore time together. She wants to acknowledge what he's said and tell him how much she appreciates everything he's done for her, for her son, for her family but the words don't come. "Good." She finds herself saying, hoping that he understands.

The curse is practically upon them. Her mother kisses her goodbye and something inside her convinces her feet to move forward to her car. She's getting inside, feeling broken and abandoned again and also nothing at all. Her body is working on auto-pilot. She doesn't remember closing the car door or even starting the car, but they've crossed the town line and all she can see in the rearview mirror is a mixture of green and purple smoke, taking away everything she's gained in the last year.

She blinks back the tears and grips the steering wheel tighter...and then nothing.

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**I know I kind of rushed through this part but it wasn't necessary for the storyline I have and I wanted to keep things moving. Hope you like it! **

**(Also, I've made it to chapter 29 and I'm still likely 10 chapters away from finishing this. My goal is to get the next 5 written throughout this week/weekend and then once this is complete, I'll be posting the chapters more frequently.)**


	20. Chapter 20: not a day will go by

**Sorry guys. This delay in posting was unexpected. I intended to share another chapter last week but found that Google docs had creatively taken my chapters 20-22 and removed nearly half of what I wrote so I had to start over. Good news: I'm up to chapter 39 and now that I have the ending finalized, you'll be getting much more frequent updates. If I start posting 3 a week next week this will end on the second week of July, right around the time they should start filming again and hopefully we'll get some good pics! And I've babbled on enough. Let's get to the good stuff. **

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chapter 20: not a day will go by

He doesn't know what to expect from the town after returning from Neverland. Prior to their departure, Rumplestiltskin convinced Belle to cast a curse over the town that cloaked it from outsiders. They should not have been able to ever return.

He wishes he could have done more to aid in saving the boy but ultimately he decides offering his ship and knowledge of the land was more than enough. Once Emma and Neal were both searching for Henry he felt as though he would be overstepping some invisible boundaries if he offered further assistance.

Although not really a seasoned veteran of the town himself, he knows how Tinkerbelle must feel being in this strange world and takes it upon himself to assist her in getting acclimated with the town. She rebuffs his flirtations and tells him he's better off to save them for Emma. He can't do that either. He's in a strange place. He came to this realm for revenge and then finds himself essentially playing a hero, but that was in Neverland. He doesn't feel comfortable aligning himself with the heros here, especially since they consist of Emma's parents, but he doesn't feel like a villain either.

Finally he decides that he'll meet up with Emma one morning when she steps into Granny's for her daily hot cocoa fix and ask if they can discuss what happened between them in Neverland. He doesn't want to push her, he knows that patience and time are the only things that will allow him to fully win her heart, but he doesn't think friendship is too much to ask of her.

He never gets the chance. It turns out that Pan has still managed to fool them all and has switched bodies with Henry. He finds out much later that Emma immediately knew something was wrong, but her parents and Regina discarded her feelings and he regrets not coming around sooner. Perhaps if he had, they would have listened to her before it got to this point.

He's willing to do whatever is needed to get her son back, which is how he finds himself on a mission with her father, Neal and Tinkerbelle to obtain the wand of the Black Fairy. The Blue Fairy was the last one to possess it, but a run-in with Pan's shadow left her no longer able to assist them. He finds himself in the church (and is surprised that he isn't struck down with lightning immediately for entering a place of worship after committing so many sins in his life) convincing Tinkerbelle that she just needs to believe she can fly and capture the shadow.

-\\-

The wand is obtained and Henry returns to his actual body, but that is not the end. Pan has already enacted a curse, much like Regina's but being privy to the innermost workings of the atrocious creature, he assumes it will only be much, much worse for the citizens of Storybrooke.

Regina can't stop the curse, but she can counter it. However it comes with unimaginable circumstances. Regina will need to give up the one thing she loves the most, which is Henry. Seeing as the lad can't be left on his own, Regina can allow Emma to go with him but only if she takes their current memories and replaces them with new ones. And if that isn't all, anyone born in the Enchanted Forest will return there.

He nearly doesn't join the group as they make their way to the town line to see off Emma and Henry. He can't imagine losing her and knowing that all her memories of him will be gone. Not just the brief moments they've shared together in New York, but their friendship and budding relationship back in Boston. The sheer thought of it makes his stomach churn.

There's no way to say a proper goodbye to her with everyone around and he debates not saying anything to her at all, but as she turns to head toward her car and drive away from him forever, he knows he at least needs to speak to her again.

"That's quite the vessel you captain there, Swan." he says gesturing to her bright yellow vehicle.

She turns to face him with red-rimmed, watery eyes and he's overcome with the desire to take away her pain, but there is nothing he can do. Even if he had room to board the entire town on his ship, they had no magical bean or other source to get away from the looming curse.

"There's not a day that won't go by that I won't think of you." He hears himself saying, watching her face carefully for her reaction. He is not expecting her eyes to flicker to his lips and only sheer willpower stops him from kissing her right that moment.

"Good." She replies.

Despite the curse awaiting him, his face lights up. He expects her to argue his confession, knowing that her life is full of unfulfilled promises and broken words but the fact that she accepts his words as truth and possibly even believes them, lightens his heart considerably.

He looks down as he hears her start the engine, pretending to be inspecting scuff marks on his boots and hoping that everyone will be too caught up in their own heartbreak at her departure and the impending curse to notice the leather-clad pirate unable to watch the most incredible woman he has ever met drive away from him because his eyes are far too glassy to make out any details.

-\\-

Once they are transported back to the Enchanted Forest, he spares no time gathering supplies and loading them on a spare horse. Her father tries to stop him, saying that he can stay with them now but he has no interest in rebuilding the home she never got to live in, nor spending time with people who would talk of her daily. His confession to her was true, he will think of her every day but being in the presence of others doing the same was just more than any sane man could bear. He tells them he's off to find his ship.

It's the truth, he believes he might be able to find some comfort in the only thing he managed to love after the loss of his brother, but the search takes longer than he expects. He picks up his old crew along the way, pulling them out of taverns and the medieval equivalent of gutters and starts behaving like a pirate again. They don't need water nor the Jolly Roger to pilfer goods. More than enough of the affluent class travel the roads with chest upon chest of glittering jewels and gold and yet none are nearly prepared enough to take on a band of men wielding weapons.

It never stops the ache nor the thoughts of her. His nights are spent in taverns consuming more rum than one man should ever drink trying to stop the memories from invading his brain. It works sometimes, but more often than not, he finds himself staring at every blonde woman he comes across, hoping that someone one of them will be her. He once followed a woman into a shop simply because her perfume reminded him of the scent Emma used to wear. The rum at least manages to dull his emotions, providing a minor ease to the constant heartache he feels.

When he finds out that Blackbeard has taken over his ship, his blood runs hot. Good form flies out the window and he no longer has any interest in helping Ariel find Eric. He wants Blackbeard off his ship no matter the cost and has no qualms about forcing the man to walk the plank.

The Jolly doesn't soothe him as he expected. He can find comfort in running his fingers along her well-worn and properly weathered rails and the surge of pride still fills him as he mans the wheel, but Emma is still there in his mind.

His heart stutters when he the bird carrying the message lands on his ship. He'll do anything to find her, no matter the cost. Despite their protests, his crew is dumped at the nearest port he reaches first thing in the morning. Praying to every god of the sea and elements, he leaves the port and sails away as quickly as he can, managing to outrun the curse.

He meets with a wizened old woman in a tavern who tells him that she possesses magic that will allow him to travel between realms, but it does not come cheap. A barmaid with blonde hair and green eyes places a tankard of rum in front of him and his heart clenches. "Anything." He hears himself telling the woman, which is how he comes to trading his ship for a mere magical bean that will transport him to the land without magic.

His fingers glide along the desk in his cabin. He's locked his favorite possessions in the safe he can only open with his hook and has discarded the rest. He'd prefer to do it himself instead of having the thought that some other captain would unceremoniously toss his belongings overboard. He has no reason to believe that he'll ever see the ship again, but he can't bring himself to take the possessions with him. Not knowing what he'll need to go through to find Emma, they're likely safer aboard the ship.

"Liam, I hope you'll understand." He whispers before walking away for the last time.

-\\-

He lands in an undignified heap on a grassy area. He moves to a sitting position slowly, taking in the sights around him until he can figure out where the portal has dumped him. A large pathway curves up ahead of him and beyond that is a sign. He can only make out half of it. _-tral Park. _

It takes another moment before his memories sort themselves in his mind. He can only remember that he was once Killian Jones who lived in Boston but not much more than that. It appears only the basic knowledge of the workings of this realm have carried over in his mind. Pulling from that, he determines that he's landed in Central Park. Unfortunately, he's also still dressed as Captain Hook which might not be the best way to fit in. _You're in New York_ his mind reminds him and he has a feeling people here won't likely pay enough attention to notice him.

He stands and brushes himself off, wandering around the park until he can find an exit and then begins to stroll up and down the streets of New York city before a map on the chair of a storefront catches his eye.

He enters quickly and addresses the man behind the counter. "Good-day sir, I noticed the map you have placed on the chair there." He gestures with his hand. "I have an address for the residence of an old acquaintance but I am unsure of which way to proceed."

"That one is old." The man replies gruffly. "Won't find anythin' recent on it. But hold on-a minute. I have a new one around here somewhere." He walks to the back of the shop and disappears behind a door for a few moments before returning and dropping a map onto the counter in front of Killian. "Here. You keep it. Haven't had anyone come in here that even knows how to read a map in nearly a decade with all them smartphones and the Gee-Pee-Ess'es now."

"Thank you." Killian says, not bothering to ask the man what he's speaking of. He quickly finds the address on the map and begins heading in that direction. It takes him nearly an hour, backtracking his steps a few times, but he finally arrives and realizes that it is the same building where he stabbed Rumplestiltskin with his dreamshade-tipped hook. Climbing the stairs, he easily manages to unlock the door with the tip of his hook.

It's Neal's old apartment. His stomach rolls at the thought of being here, but he figures it is the only address her parents could have sent him to and that they would think him ridiculous to sleep outside on a park bench when this was a perfectly good, vacant and warm apartment. He resigns to finding Emma as quickly as possible so he doesn't need to stay there any longer than necessary.

The next morning he finds a telephone book and looks up her name. He panics for a moment, worried that her name may not be the same here as it was when she left Storybrooke. There is no one named Emma Swan listed, but there are two people listed under E. Swan.

He calls the first number and a child answers. He asks if it is the residence of Emma Swan and is told that her daddy's name is Edward not Emma. He hangs up and calls the next number, listening to it ring and ring before the automated voice picks up.

_I'm not available right now, please leave a message _is all it says, but he'd recognize her voice anywhere. Now he just needs to figure out her address.

A day or two passes before he figures out that everyone, including children are carrying around smartphones and these devices have the ability to search for people. Believing he might have better luck with a child than an adult, he approaches two boys nearly the same age as Henry. "Would either of you lad's be able to look up someone on your devices? It appears mine has been stolen."

He concocts a tale of needing to meet a friend who just moved here but her address was only saved within his device. The boys readily agree and he provides her name. One taps furiously on the screen and then holds it up to show him. The listing are just as they were in the telephone book, except addresses were provided underneath as well. He points to the second one. "It's that one. I recognize the phone number."

The boy taps on the device again before turning it back to him and he can see her address enlarged. He's not carrying pen nor paper and hopes he can commit the address to memory, at least until he can get back to the apartment and look it up on the map. "Thank you" he tells the boys who just nod and go back to tapping away on the devices.


	21. Chapter 21: new york

**I wrote the last chapter yesterday and brought tears to my own eyes it's so sickeningly fluffy and sweet. Part of me wants to post like every day so you get to read the end, but I dunno. Comment if that's what'd you prefer. **

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chapter 21: new york

She scrawls her signature at the bottom of the page, agreeing to be a tenant for one year. She hands over a check, wincing at the amount, as she initials a page agreeing that she will not damage the property, she will not change the paint colors, and she understands that it will cost her an additional three hundred dollars a month to have a registered parking spot for her car.

_Thank god for those last couple of perps _she thinks. Bail bonds, while not a common profession for a woman, brought in more money than anything else she could do without a college degree. It also provided irregular hours, typically allowing for her to see Henry off to school in the morning and be there to ensure he started his homework at the end of the day. By some stroke of luck, the last three men she had caught earned her nearly fifteen thousand dollars.

Moving to New York had been a random thought swirling through her mind as she stood on the deserted sidewalk, gripping Henry's hand and watching the flames pour out of what was once his bedroom window. The fire was deemed an accident, something to do with faulty wiring she was told by the fire chief. The fire department hadn't arrived in time to save her place. They told her she was lucky they weren't home and that they had so many belongings with them. They had just returned from a weeks vacation at the cape with Henry. They had clothing, shoes, toiletries and even a handful of Henry's video games. Her renter's insurance provided her with a sizable check, as did the insurance company of the property.

They stayed in a hotel for a few days before she suggested the idea to Henry. "I got the checks from the insurance company. It's more than I imagined. We could move to New York." She says between bites of pizza.

"Yeah? Cool. Let's do that." He didn't even need to think about it.

-\\- _nine months later -\\-_

It's not even nine in the morning and someone is knocking at her door. Her building is locked, requiring the residents to buzz anyone in after confirming their identities on a video screen so she has no idea how this is possible.

It's probably her elderly neighbor coming to see if Henry wanted to take her dog for a walk this morning before school. She throws open the door and nearly stumbles back.

In front of her stands a man in a pirate costume. A very attractive man with brilliantly blue eyes, which widen in shock as a smile creeps onto his face, but a strange man in a pirate costume all the same. "Swan." He says breathlessly.

She should slam the door in his face, but her hand won't react. There is something about the way he is looking at her, full of wonder and affection that keeps her rooted in the foyer.

"At last." He says, taking a step forward as though he's going to enter the apartment.

Her instincts finally kick in, her hand going up to block him. "Whoa, do I know you?" She asks.

He frowns. "Look, I need your help. Something's happened. Something terrible. Your family is in trouble."

"My family is right here. Who are you?" She asks.

"An old friend. Look, I know you can't remember me, but...I can make you." He says and by the time the words register in her brain, he's closed the distance between them and is kissing her.

Something incredibly familiar and comforting washes over her and her eyes flutter closed for a second before she realizes that a strange man, one she has never seen, before is kissing her. Her knee comes up, knocking him backward with a groan. "The hell are you doing?" She hisses.

The leather-clad man stumbles back against the wall. "A long shot. I had to try. I was hoping you felt as I did."

Her eyebrows shoot up. _Who is this guy? And who in the world does he think she is that he thinks kissing her is an okay reaction?_ "What you'll feel is handcuffs when I call the police." She retorts.

Panic crosses over his face quickly followed by desperation. "Look, I know this seems crazy, but you have to listen to me. You have to remem-" He pleads.

This is too weird. She finally regains control of her hand, slamming the door closed in his face mid-sentence.

"Who was that?" Henry asks from the kitchen.

"No idea. Someone must have buzzed him in accidentally." She replies, taking a seat at the breakfast table.

She wakes up the next morning shaking her head. The night before she had a dream she was climbing a beanstalk to steal a compass from a giant. Her climbing partner? The pirate costume-wearing man who knocked on her door the previous day.

-\\-

Ever since the strange man knocked on her door, Emma has been off her game. She burnt a Poptart, nearly tripped down a flight of stairs, allowed the perp she was trying to catch to walk right past her without a second glance and Henry had to ask her four times if she was going to dinner with Walsh that night before the question finally registered in her brain.

"Mom, are you okay?" Henry asks, looking at her curiously.

"Yeah, kid. Why?" She replies distracted.

"Because I've asked you the same question four times and you still haven't responded to me. You're distracted. Something's wrong. Has been ever since that guy knocked on the door. Do you know him?" Henry questions.

Her hand comes up to pinch the skin between her brows. "Dinner tonight with Walsh. Yes, I'm meeting up with him after a meeting at work. Are you okay to stay here? I'll order pizza before I go." She replies.

"But are you okay?" Henry presses.

"I just-I just feel like I'm missing something. Or forgetting something but the more I try to figure out what it is, it feels like my brain gets fuzzier." She confesses to her son.

"Maybe you need a break. You are working a lot. We could get out of the city. Maybe visit one of those small towns you like?" Henry suggests.

He's practically a teenager now and she knows her days of showering him with affection are limited which is why she's crossing the room and squishing him into a bear hug before he can react. He struggles for a second and she hears him groan in protest before he gives in and hugs her back.

"Some warning next time would nice." He mumbles into her shoulder.

"Never! I need to keep up the element of surprise!" She teases him.

-\\-

She slides into the chair and offers Walsh a smile. She would have never expected to date him, but things just kind of happened. She and Henry were wandering around one day, looking in random shops when she spotted a table she just needed to have. It turned out to be Walsh's store. He personally delivered the table and asked for her number. Usually Emma hesitated on that kind of thing, not really interested in anything other than making sure Henry was happy, but she found herself rattling off her number to him.

He called a few days later and asked her to dinner at this same restaurant. That had been nearly a year ago. Time was passing by too quickly.

"I'll be right back." Walsh says.

Her phone beeps and she finds a text from her boss. She has a new perp to find, this one worth another five grand. Movement in front of her catches her eye and she looks up, not expecting Walsh to have returned so quickly.

But it's not Walsh, it's the man in the pirate costume again. "You!" She exclaims.

He holds up a hand. "I can explain."

He tells her that he's there to apologize and kissing her was simply him trying to jog her memory. He tells her again that her parents are in danger and she needs to be the one to help them. Emma feels the breath catch in her throat when he calls her out on being an orphan. There were only two people in her life who were aware of that, Henry and Walsh. He hands her a piece of paper with an address, telling her to go there and find out who she really is.

"You're a crazy person. Or a liar. Or both." She tells him.

He smirks at her. "I prefer dashing rapscallion." She knows she must be looking at him as though he sprouted another head but he pays it no mind, quirking his eyebrow. "Scoundrel?"

He looks genuinely upset that she doesn't believe him. She's starting to think this is some type of prank Walsh is pulling on her although she has no idea why he would do it nor what the purpose might be. She's racking her brain trying to figure out how this man knows so much about her when he brings her back to the present again, telling her to use her superpower on him to see if he's lying.

"Just because you believe something is true, doesn't make it real." She says and watches as he physically deflates.

He points at the scrap of paper he handed her with the address. "You sense something is off. I know you, Swan. Don't do it for me. Or you. Do it for your family. They need your help." He gets up and walks away from her.

Seconds later Walsh returns and is asking her something about just looking at the dessert. She's too full for dessert but he insists and she spins the plate around to find a diamond ring staring back at her. He's talking but she can't make out the words only catching the last two. "...Marry me?"

She doesn't realize she's grabbed her jacket and run from the table until Walsh catches up to her on the sidewalk. "Can I have some time to think?" She asks. He tells her to take all the time she needs.

-\\-

The address hastily scrawled on the scrap of paper is burning a hole in her pocket. She pulls it out multiple times to look at it, wondering what she might find there. She places it on the counter and walks away, trying to focus on what she needs to get done for the day but finds herself wandering back over to it, fingers tracing over the print. The strange man is right about one thing, she knows something is off but she can't place what it is.

She's full of rage when she finds the man in the park. The address was for Neal's apartment. The man who let her go to jail for his crime, leaving her alone and pregnant. He was the last person she ever wanted to see, much less know that he was in the same city as her. The last time they had been in the same city was Portland, over a decade ago. She has no idea how he managed to end up across the country but only 12 blocks from her apartment. It makes her skin crawl to see his belongings in the apartment. "What does Neal have you up to? How does he even know about Henry?"

He tells her that it has nothing to do with Neal, it was just the only thing in this town he could use to get her to believe. He's not working for Neal. Not now, not ever. He's there because of her parents, their kingdom is in trouble.

"Their kingdom?" She asks incredulously. "Do you know what you sound like?"

His face softens. "A mad man, I'm sure. But its true."

"I want real answers." She counters.

"There's only one way you'll get those. Drink this." He holds up a small bottle full of liquid.

"Drink the thing the crazy man just offered me? No thank you." She wants to know what Neal is up to but there must be some other way to find out.

She cuffs him to the bench and whistles for her police friends to come over to her. The hurt look on his face nearly makes her wish that she didn't do it, but she needed to be careful. He had too much information about her life and possibly about Henry's as well.

-\\-

Emma can no longer ignore the nagging voice in her head telling her to find the strange man and speak to him again. She flips through the pictures she took from the apartment again feeling more and more confused. She doesn't remember the town at all, but she's standing in front of a sign proudly stating it's name. The picture looks too realistic to be photoshopped. _I'm just going to get answers_ she tells herself as she throws on her coat and heads to be police station.

The look of relief on his face when he sees her makes her breath catch. "I've been in my fair share of brigs, but nothing as barbaric as that. They force-fed me something call bologna!" He is so indignant it takes everything in her not to laugh.

She holds up the photos. "How do these exist? I never lived in this town."

He holds up the vial of liquid again. "This will explain everything."

She hesitates again not sure why her gut is telling her to trust him and drink the mystery liquid. "If this is all a lie, I'd have to give up my life here. It's pretty good. I have Henry. A job. A guy I love."

He swallows hard. "Perhaps there's a man that you love in the life you've lost. Trust your gut, Swan. It will tell you what to do."

"Henry always says that." She muses.

"Then if you won't listen to me, listen to your boy." He says, holding the vial out to her again.

She grabs it from his hand and downs it before she can talk herself out of it. Memories flash before her eyes. In these memories she gave up Henry for adoption but stayed with Neal until the day he just dropped from her life. She started a relationship with her friend Killian but that was taken away from her too when Henry found her in Boston. She took him home, to Storybrooke where Henry spent weeks and weeks trying to convince her that she was the savior and all of the town's inhabitants were cursed storybook characters. She broke the curse, but then fell through a portal where she met Captain Hook who was identical to the man she started a relationship with in Boston but he had no memory of it. He was hell-bent on revenge but never passed up a moment to flirt with her. He returned to a town on the brink of destruction because she challenged him to. He set aside his quest for revenge and allowed his lifelong enemy on his ship all for the sake of rescuing her son. He helped in the rescue, providing her with support when she didn't even know she needed it. They succeeded and she figured once they returned to town and everything settled down again she'd work on this friendship they'd formed, but there was no time for anything to settle down. There was another curse and she had to leave with Henry. Everyone else was being taken back to the Enchanted Forest and she couldn't even be with the family she had finally found.

_Not a day will go by that I won't think of you _the words echo in her mind until her eyes focus on the man patiently standing in front of her. "Hook." She says.

The smile that erupts on his face is infectious. "Did you miss me?" He asks.

-\\-

He strolls into her apartment, full of pirate swagger, like he owns the place. She catches him looking intently at the model ship sitting on her mantle. She has no idea why she picked that up in the store, but it just spoke to her. She hands him a glass of rum. With the events of today, she's tempted to skip the glass and just drink right from the bottle.

"So tell me about this curse." She says.

"I don't have much knowledge on it. We returned to the Enchanted Forest just like Regina said we would. Regina had told me my ship would have come back over as well so I immediately set out to find her. A few weeks later, a bird landed on my ship with a message tied to its leg. It told me a curse was coming and I needed to find you. I assume it came from your parents. And here I am." He informs her.

"You came all the way back here to save my family?" She asks incredulously. Sure, they had kissed in Neverland but that was it, it wasn't as though he was indebted to her.

"I came back to save you. There wasn't anything for me in the Enchanted Forest. Why would I stay?" He says, keeping his tone light but she knows there is more to his words.

There's a knock at the door. "That's Walsh." She says. "Stay here. I did spend eight months with the guy, I owe him an explanation for why I'm about to disappear."

She leads Walsh out onto the roof of the building and tells him she can't marry him, that she needs to go home and take care of some things. He argues that she's an orphan and there is no home for her to go to.

"Someone from my past showed up." She confesses.

He tries to persuade her some more than she should just stay there, but then something he says makes her blood run cold. "_I wish you hadn't drank that potion." _Before she can fully react, he's continuing "You just couldn't leave well enough alone, could you?" He snarls at her, knocking a chair to the side.

"Who are you?" She asks, bewildered only to find him transform in front of her eyes to a flying money with beady red eyes. He lunges for her and she manages to duck, causing him to fall over the side of the building, but he's twisting in the air and coming back up toward her. Her arm reaches out and grabs the first thing it makes contact with (_luckily an iron bar, who just keeps these on the roof anyway?_) and swings it at him. He falls over the side again.

She's gasping for air as Hook pushes his way onto the roof asking her what in the world that was.

"A reminder that I was never safe." She says dejectedly. Wasn't it enough that she had her memories re-written for her and was sent away from her parents so soon after finding them? Instead of ending up in a nice, normal relationship she ended up dating a flying monkey who tried to kill her.

The next morning she tells Henry he's not going to school and they need to make a trip up to Maine for a case and introduces him to Hook...who she now has to call Killian. Henry is suspicious enough that she knows she must be incredibly careful not to utter Killian's moniker in the presence of her son.


	22. Chapter 22: finding emma

**To the guest who left a review on Friday (Thursday?), I'm sorry but the site won't show me your review so I can reply, so I'll answer it here. The Killian from the beginning of the story and the Captain Hook/Killian in the story now is the same man. He gets his Boston memories back in Chapter 17 when he and Emma kiss and then it's explained in more detail in Chapter 18 how he came to be in Boston instead of Storybrooke like everyone else.**

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chapter 22: finding emma

It's barely past nine in the morning but he can't bring himself to wait another day to see her face. He's able to sneak in with a delivery boy and quickly makes his way up the steps to the apartment he believes is hers. He knocks, then waits.

A glorious sight beholds him. It is his Swan, in the flesh. He has finally found her and now he can take her back to Storybrooke and help her figure out whoever cast the last curse. He's grinning at her like a fool, but he can't stop himself. "Swan." He says, breathlessly.

She's looking at him curiously but doesn't respond. "At last-" he says and moves forward to embrace her, but her arm comes up to block him.

"Whoa, do I know you?" She asks him.

He knew it wasn't likely, but it didn't stop him from hoping that she would recognize him. "Look, I need your help. Something's happened. Something terrible. Your family is in trouble."

"My family is right here. Who are you?" She asks and he finds solace that she hasn't closed the door in his face yet.

It's a long shot, but he's willing to do anything to help her remember. "An old friend. Look, I know you can't remember me, but...I can make you." He pauses for only a second before closing the space between him and pressing his lips against hers.

He nearly gasps at the feeling. For an entire year his mind has done nothing but replay the kisses they shared over and over again on a continuously loop but the bliss of her kiss is being quickly replaced with the pain in his groin from her knee. He stumbles back against the wall.

"A long shot. I had to try. I was hoping you felt as I did." He says, watching her eyebrows shoot up.

"What you'll feel is handcuffs when I call the police." She retorts.

He panics. She can't call the police. She needs to drink the potion and remember. "Look, I know this seems crazy, but you have to listen to me. You have to remem-" He pleads, but it useless, she has slammed the door in his face.

-\\-

The next day he returns to her apartment, able to garner entrance with a child holding a small puppy on a leash. He doesn't knock, just stands with his ear pressed to her door listening for any sounds of her presence.

"Tonight at Ostria? ...Yeah eight should be good...no I'll just meet you there...okay...okay...see you tonight." He hears her one-sided conversation and decides he'll need to try again at Ostria.

He stops a young woman on the street. "Excuse me, love. Could you tell me if you've heard of a place called Ostria?"

She takes in his clothing with an odd look, but it doesn't seem to deter her from responding. "Umm yeah. It's a restaurant over on 57th and 6th. Never been though. Can't tell you how the food is."

"That's quite alright love, you have proven to be quite helpful." He tells her with a grin before heading pulling the map from his pocket and finding the intersection.

He finds the restaurant with ease, arriving early enough to watch Emma and her date arrive separately and be seated. He can't believe his luck when the man gets up from the table moments later, leaving Emma alone. He expected to have to catch her as she left the restaurant, hoping the man wouldn't be accompanying her. He sits down at the table across from Emma.

"You!" She exclaims.

He immediately raises his hand to calm her. "I can explain. I've come to apologize for kissing you. I was simply trying to jog your memory. Your parents are in great danger, Emma. I know you don't believe you have any, believing you are an orphan, but I can tell you that is not true. Take this. Go find out who you really are. When you do, come find me in Central Park, by the entrance to the zoo." He hands her the same slip of paper with the address that had been delivered to him via the bird on his ship.

"You're a crazy person. Or a liar. Or both." She tells him.

He smirks at her. "I prefer dashing rapscallion." When she remains unfazed, he tries again. "Scoundrel?"

She continues to argue with him that what he is saying must not be real, be true. Knowing that her date could return at any moment, he decides to play into her feelings that something is off. She hasn't said it but he can tell as much from her reactions. He points at the scrap of paper he handed her with the address. "You sense something is off. I know you, Swan. Don't do it for me. Or you. Do it for your family. They need your help."

-\\-

He arrives at the park a little after nine the next morning, quickly making his way to an empty bench near the zoo entrance. He expects to wait all day, possibly even into the evening hours, but she finds him less than ninety minutes later.

"What does Neal have you up to? How does he even know about Henry?" She demands.

"I"m not here because of Neal. I haven't seen him in quite some time. I'm here because your parents, their kingdom, is in trouble." He explains.

"Their kingdom?" She asks incredulously. "Do you know what you sound like?"

His face softens. "A mad man, I'm sure. But its true."

"I want real answers." She argues.

"There's only one way you'll get those. Drink this." He reaches into the inside pocket of his coat and removes a small vial of liquid; the memory potion that had been attached to the bird's leg when it landed on his ship with the message to find her.

"Drink the thing the crazy man just offered me? No thank you." She scoffs before quickly reaching forward and slapping a cuff around his wrist. She jumps back nearly as quickly and whistles.

Two men in uniform come over to him and listen as she explains he is harassing her. "I"m not!" He defends himself, but it is of no use. They're switching out the cuffs she provided with their own and pulling him along telling her to have a safe rest of her day.

They arrive at a large stone building and he's hauled inside. He provides his name and another uniformed man searches through the pockets of his coat, removing the switchblade and telling him he can have it back when he's released. "When will I be released?"

"Tomorrow, unless someone makes your bail before then." The man informs him.

He chooses not to reply, sensing it will only worsen the situation and follows the uniformed man to a holding cell, only slightly more modern than those he had encountered in the Enchanted Forest. _Some things apparently do not change _he thinks.

At least, until they feed him lunch. He's not even hungry, but the woman shoves a tray onto his lap despite his protests. "You're going to eat the fucking sandwich, blue eyes" she snarls, glaring at him.

The bread he recognizes but has no earthly clue what the substance between the two slices could be. It smells off, as though it had spoiled a few weeks back and a quick poke with his finger reveals it feels, not just looks slimey. He removes the offending item from between the slices and deems they are still safe to eat.

The woman returns for the tray, eyes hardening when she sees he did not eat everything. "I said you're eating the sandwich. Now either open your mouth and eat the slice of bologna or I'm going to shove it down your throat."

He doesn't doubt her threat and decides eating it on his own is probably the more pleasant option. Holding the bologna between his fingers he takes a bite with his eyes closed, trying not to remember the texture or taste. It's worse than he imagines, but the faster he tries to chew it seems the more the pungent aroma of the bologna permeates his mouth. He nearly gags and opts to just swallow the remainder of the piece whole. He expects it to lodge in his throat, the foul odor coming up and continuing to invade his mouth, but a large swig of water manages to clear it from his throat. It doesn't nothing for the vile taste on his tongue, however.

_It likely would have been more palatable between the bread _he thinks, saving that thought in case the mystery item is offered to him again.

Nearly two hours later another man in uniform is coming up to his cell. "Jones. Killian Jones? Time to go. Someone posted bail for you."

He's too shocked to ask any questions, simply taking back his switchblade from the officer and heading out the front door. He's more than surprised to find her standing on the sidewalk in front of the jail. Relief floods through him. "I've been in my fair share of brigs, but nothing as barbaric as that. They force-fed me something call bologna!"

He watches the corners of her mouth twitch as though she's trying not to smile. She hands him the pictures from Neal's apartment. "How do these exist? I never lived in this town."

He takes out the vial again, thankful the men hadn't noticed the secret pocket inside his coat. He has a good feeling they wouldn't likely return a potion. "This will explain everything."

She hesitates. "If this is all a lie, I'd have to give up my life here. It's pretty good. I have Henry. A job. A guy I love."

The words ring hard in his ears, equivalent to a sucker punch to the face. He swallows hard, unsure of how to reply. Finally he decides a veiled hint is worth the risk. "Perhaps there's a man that you love in the life you've lost. Trust your gut, Swan. It will tell you what to do."

"Henry always says that." She muses.

"Then if you won't listen to me, listen to your boy." He says, holding the vial out to her again.

His heart stutters when she grabs the vial from him, unsure as to whether she will drink it or cast it aside, leaving her memories shattered in a puddle of glass and liquid on the street corner. She pops it open and pours the liquid down her throat quickly.

He waits, watching as her eyes glaze over assuming these are the memories coming back to her. Finally she focuses on him again and he can only hope it has truly worked. She only speaks one word but his heart sings. "Hook."

His cheeks hurt from how wide he is smiling but _she remembers him again. Emma remembers him. _"Did you miss me?"

She rolls her eyes in response. "Come on."

He follows her to her apartment, quickly strolling inside after her. He takes in the decor, eyes lingering over the model ship sitting on her mantle. The apartment is more decorated than he expected and he figures its the doing of the memories and characteristics Regina gave her.

She hands him a glass of rum. "So, tell me more about this curse."

"I don't have much knowledge on it. We returned to the Enchanted Forest just like Regina said we would. Regina had told me my ship would have come back over as well so I immediately set out to find her. A few weeks later, a bird landed on my ship with a message tied to its leg. It told me a curse was coming and I needed to find you. I assume it came from your parents. And here I am." He informs her.

"You came all the way back here to save my family?" She asks incredulously.

He frowns at her response. The lifetime(s) she spent with no one to look after her needed to become a thing of the past and he was determined to be the one there for her no matter what. "I came back to save you. There wasn't anything for me in the Enchanted Forest. Why would I stay?" He says, wondering if she'll pick up on his unspoken words.

A knock at the door prevents her from responding. "That's Walsh. Stay here, I did spend eight months with the guy, I owe him an explanation for why I'm about to disappear."

He nods, feeling uncomfortable with the situation but knowing it was better to pick his battles with her. She's gone for only a few moment when he sees something black and winged fly past her windows. In an instant he's on his feet and flying up the steps to the roof of her building.

Throwing open the door, he nearly stumbles onto the balcony. "What the bloody hell was that?"

Her eyes have darkened, a frown pulling at her lips. "A reminder I was never safe." She replies, dejectedly. "We leave in the morning. Be here at nine."

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**They're going back to Storybrooke! **


	23. Chapter 23: return to storybrooke

**I am SO sorry. This week just completely got away from me. **

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chapter 23: return to storybrooke

She felt it as soon as she crossed over the town line, that unmistakable tingle of entering a town full of magic. She was going through the movements but everything about being here, in this town again, felt fake. She has to immediately fall into the role of savior, the one destined to bring everyone their happy endings, but only when Henry isn't around.

They are supposed to focus, to figure out who has taken their memories and brought them back to Storybrooke but she finds it harder and harder to do so each day. Part of it is because of Henry. She hates lying to him and hates even more that he could sense something was wrong. Part of it is also the three differing sets of memories clashing into each other in her mind at all times. And part of it is seeing her parents again.

It appears they took no time at all making sure Mary Margaret's confession in the Echo Caves came to fruition. She knows she wasn't able to mask the shock from her face at the sight of her mother's swollen belly but she hopes she at least hid the betrayal. In a way, she knows she is silly to feel like this but she can't help but think that this child will get to grow up with its parents and have the life she never did, simply because she is there. _Because the savior could never let a child experience the same type of childhood I had to endure_ she thinks sarcastically.

"Did you know?" She asks Killian, standing outside her door at her room at Granny's.

"About your mother?" He asks. "No lass, I did not. I left the company of your parents nearly right after we returned. Had I known I most certainly would have informed you. I'm sure it wasn't easy to see."

She shrugs. "It's not like I didn't know it's what they wanted."

She senses him stepping closer to her and keeps her eyes downcast. His fingers reach out to brush her arm and she finds herself oddly wanting to lean further into his touch rather than pull away. "That doesn't mean you have to like it or be happy about it. It's okay if you aren't."

-/-

"The Wicked Witch of the West. She's real?" Emma asks incredulously.

"Says the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming." Killian deadpans with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

She lets David give him a withering glance, worried if she meets his eyes there a good chance she'll break out into hysterical laughter at the absurdity of their situation.

She has no idea what's brought on this sudden increase in sass from the pirate usually at her side, but she finds it amusing all the same. Which is why she's unable to stop her elbow from jutting out to the area of his ribs when he makes the quip about a demanding midwife. He lets out a huff and she turns to look at him, finding him pouting at her and blinking like a sad puppy dog.

-\\-

"Come on, we have berries to find."

Their trek into the woods is silent at first, each keeping their eyes out for the witch or any of her winged companions.

"You know something Swan? Whenever you're around I inevitably find myself trekking through some manner of woods or forest, courting danger." He says, breaking the silence.

"And here I thought you weren't afraid of anything. Always looking for the next adventure." She quips back.

"Oh is that what this is?" He pretends to be astounded at her succinct summarization.

"Isn't it? What the hell were you doing for the last year on that ship? I'm guessing it was just one swashbuckling tale after another. Until you decided to come back and save me." She reasons, expecting him to launch into his tales of adventure on the open seas. Instead his face falls slightly before his emotions are masked again and he agrees with her, but there is no conviction to his reply.

"You're lying." She turns to face him as though that will convince him to tell her the truth. He argues with her that he isn't lying before catching her off guard and telling her she could thank him for saving her from a loveless marriage. Emma didn't know for sure if she would have married Walsh, had Killian not shown up and had Walsh not been better suited to life in the zoo, but she had still managed to fall in love with him (or at least strong like) and the betrayal stung.

"Humor me." He goads her, stepping even further into her personal space. "Would you have accepted his proposal?"

"Yes, okay?" She says. "I was in love so of course I was considering it. As usual, he wasn't who he said he was and I got my heart broken, again."

She didn't mean to say 'again' and hopes he only thinks she was referring to Neal and not when she found him in the Enchanted Forest. Judging by the way his composure slips slightly before his face softens she can't tell. He shuffles forward slightly and she doesn't know if he is going to kiss her or wrap her up in his arms. Instead he speaks.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm glad to hear it, love." He replies holding her gaze.

Her eyes widen in shock. "You're glad to hear I got my heart broken?" She asks incredulously.

He shakes his head slightly. "If it can be broken, that means it still works."

She stares at him, trying to read what he is keeping from her but she can't make it out.

-/-

"A storm cellar at a farmhouse. How...expected." Emma mutters under her breath as they approach the structure. She draws her gun, intending to find out just what's down there but Killian interrupts her, arguing that they shouldn't descend into a one-way out cellar without backup.

She concedes and after joining up with her father and Regina, and learning the witch had stolen her father's courage, the foursome make an even more gruesome discovery: that Rumpelstiltskin is somehow still alive and the witch is keeping him as a prisoner in the storm cellar.

But that was nothing compared to finding out that Zelena, the woman who pretended to be a midwife to her mother, was the witch and Regina's sister. The witch fight that took place in the road in front of Granny's proves just how powerful Zelena really is. Regina is able to gain some very important insight however. Zelena wants to steal her heart. That, combined with David's stolen courage, and whatever she was using Rumplestiltskin for led them all to believe she is planning on casting another curse.

-/-

As much as it makes her uncomfortable to tell her parents, she has to confess to them that someone else would be keeping an eye on Henry while she learns magic with Regina. She can't believe she is asking Hook to watch her son, but it feels as though he is the only one who can act normally around Henry and not lead her son to remind her constantly that he knows something else is going on and they aren't just in this strange, small town for a case.

It is no surprise she finds him at the docks, discussing something with Smee. "To what do I owe this pleasure, Swan?" He flirts, swaying into her space.

She can't help the way her body leans in towards his. "Umm...I was wondering if you could take care of Henry."

That dangerous glint appearing in his eyes. "If you wanted to get close to me, you just need to ask." He says moving even closer to her, his teeth tugging his bottom lip inward. When they're barely inches apart he continues. "You needn't to use the lad as an excuse."

Emma rolls her eyes at him, but she's smiling. He's doing it again, giving her the ability to feel light and free despite all of the darkness and weight hanging around them. "I need your help," she confesses "cause Regina needs to train me in magic. Maybe together we can defeat the witch."

He beams at her. "That's the first reasonable plan I've heard since this all began." He pauses and Emma gets the sense he's reading her, seeing her unspoken insecurities about her magic. "Magic is a part of you Swan. Don't forget...I was there when Cora tried to steal your heart. I saw the power inside of you. It's about time you embraced it. It's what makes you the savior."

She steps back, uncomfortable with just how well he was able to read her emotions. "I'm not embracing anything. I just need to use my magic to defeat Zelena and then I'm done. Henry doesn't belong here, not anymore when he doesn't have his memories. In New York he's safe from villains and has friends there, a life."

"And what about you?" He asks, frowning at her. "You know this is real. You're just going to give up on your parents and everyone else here and pretend this never happened? Trust me. I spent the entire last year doing just that and it didn't work."

"What are you not telling me?" She's determined to find out what's he's hiding one way or another, but given their current witch hunt, she hasn't been able to make it a priority.

He shakes his head. "It matters not. Just take it from me, no matter how much you wish you could go back to your old life, you can't."

-/-

She's still slightly shaken up from Regina's particular brand of magic lessons. There isn't quite anything like falling toward your death in a ravine of jagged rocks to get your magic flowing apparently. She's torn between being proud that she not only saved her own life but that she brought the bridge back up with her and being terrified that she possesses that much power.

"What are you doing here? Where's Henry?" She asks Hook as he steps into her parents loft.

"He's fine, he's with his grandparents. I assumed they might be back here." Hook replies, fidgeting slightly.

"If you weren't with Henry, what were you doing?"

"I was enlisted to help Ariel find her lost prince." He says.

Regina cut in. "Really? That fish is in Storybrooke?"

"She was." He replies. "We found a clue in Gold's shop that allowed us to discover he had been shipwrecked on Hangman's Island. Ariel is on her way there now, she wanted me to say goodbye to Mary Margaret."

"At the rate mermaids swim, she's probably there now. Emma you should use your magic to look into mirror to see if she's arrived safely." The queen suggests.

"It's bad form to spy on such a private reunion." Hook protests, but Emma ignores him asking Regina how to use mirror magic.

An image of Ariel in Eric's arms appears in the mirror.

Emma can't help but smile at the happy reunion. It's easy to see just how much Ariel and Eric love each other and she's thrilled to know someone got their happy ending despite the current curse. Her face softens as she turns toward Hook who is standing there, mouth slightly agape at the reunion he's witnessing in the mirror. "You did this?"

She watches as his cheeks and ears tinge pink and thinks it's adorable a supposedly fearsome pirate like Captain Hook is embarrassed at helping someone find their true love. "No. It was all Ariel. She never stopped believing."

Her eyebrows raise at his response and she can't help herself from teasing him further. "Modesty? You sure are full of surprises today."

Her parents and Henry arrive back at the loft and he makes to exit quickly, declining her offer to join them for dinner. She's following him out into the hallway before she can stop herself. "Killian," she says and pauses, taking in the way his eyes light up when she calls him by his given name. "Whatever happened this past year, whatever you're not telling me...I don't care." She says sincerely, holding his gaze. "I'm tired of living in the past."

If she's honest with herself, she expects her confession to elicit quite the response, perhaps him even kissing her but instead he can barely meet her eyes as he responds. "I know how you feel."

_What does that mean?_ She manages to push it out of her head long enough to enjoy dinner with her son and parents but she can't stop herself from replaying his words over and over again in her mind as she's lying in bed later that night. He looked almost sad or disappointed when he responded to her, the complete opposite of what she expected.

_But why do you expect that?_ the little voice in the back of her head wonders. I _trust him. He came back to find me. He likes Henry. He's...he's a friend_ she reasons with herself.


	24. Chapter 24: cursed lips

chapter 24: cursed lips

When her yellow bug crosses over the town line, he feels as though he's been punched in the face. The memories of his life in Boston coming rushing back in, jumbling with the current and past versions of the lives he has lead. At this moment, as he feels as though he remembers multiple versions of the same events, he'd give anything not to be in a magical town where crazy events like this could occur. There are two constants in every live he has lead; Emma and an affinity for rum. _Is it really so much to ask for a man to be with the woman he loves and enjoy his drink of choice? _he wonders.

-\\-

His stomach clenches at the sight of Mary Margaret's swollen belly. He wishes he had known so he could have prepared Emma before she found out on her own. He wishes her parents had waited but there is little he can do about either wish right now.

"Did you know?" She asks him later that night in the hallway of Granny's inn. Her arms are crossed over her chest, a physical representation of how she is guarding herself. The desire to comfort her is overwhelming.

"About your mother?" He asks. "No lass, I did not. I left the company of your parents nearly right after we returned. Had I known I most certainly would have informed you. I'm sure it wasn't easy to see."

Her shoulders rise half-heartedly. "It's not like I didn't know it's what they wanted."

He steps forward, fingers extended to pull her into his arms before he remembers he cannot do that. She's not the Emma who wouldn't think twice about her closest friend (they hadn't exactly defined the boyfriend/girlfriend roles) hugging her. He's not Killian from Boston, he's a pirate captain swathed in leather with a hook for a left hand. He frowns, opting to let his fingers graze over her arm lightly in support. "That doesn't mean you have to like it or be happy about it. It's okay if you aren't."

-\\-

To be completely honest, he isn't sure what to think knowing that it's the Wicked Witch of the West that they're searching for. In his memories as Captain Hook he visited many a land to indulge himself in their riches, but Oz was not one of them. He always had the impression something sinister resided there. Like Neverland, even the word Oz made the hair on the back of his neck prickle.

However, he's pleased to join Emma in their search for the witch. It seems as though she is slowly trusting him, including him in the plans she discusses with her parents and Regina. They're trudging through the bitterly cold woods, his breath coming out in white puffs, searching for the berries they found traces of in Regina's office.

"You know something, Swan." He muses. "Whenever you're around I inevitably find myself trekking through some manner of woods or forest, courting danger."

"And here I thought you weren't afraid of anything. Always looking for the next adventure." She quips back.

"Oh, is that what this is?" He pretends to have just realized they're on an adventure, not hunting through the woods looking for a green witch who keeps winged companions around.

"Isn't it? What the hell were you doing for the last year on that ship? I'm guessing it was just one swashbuckling tale after another. Until you decided to come back and save me." She says and he mentally curses at himself. Keeping her mind off her parents' meeting with the midwife had been his intent, not to draw further attention to the year he spent without her.

"Exactly." He lies, hoping she'll accept it and change the topic of conversation.

"You're lying." She snaps, turning to face him and despite everything, he nearly smiles at her, the pride he feels for her superpower being so spot on is overwhelming. But, yet again, now is not the time to tell her how he spent the year apart from her, so he pretends she has gotten it wrong and smirks, saying she should thank him.

"For my memories? I already did." She reminds him, giving him a curious glance.

"From saving you from a loveless marriage." The words fall from his lips before he can stop them. By the fire that flashes in her eyes he knows he shouldn't have said it. "Humor me. Would you have accepted his proposal?" He asks, having no idea why he is designed to torture himself.

The thought of Emma marrying Walsh makes his stomach roll and his skin crawl. Not just because of Walsh's simian transformation but because Emma deserves more than that man. More than a pawn in a witch's plan. A man who will understands her, who knows when to provide the confidence she is lacking and never waivers from his undying support of her.

"Yes, okay?" She replies and the words feel like daggers twisting in his heart. "I was in love so of course I was considering it. As usual, he wasn't who he said he was and I got my heart broken, again."

His brow furrows. Something in about the look in her eyes and the tone in her voice has given him the impression that she's not just talking about Neal. That she's also referring to him not being the man she was with in Boston. It's killing him, to know how much he's hurt her and be unable to do anything about it. He steps forward and catches her eye. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm glad to hear it, love." His voice is barely above a whisper.

Confusion etches her features. "You're glad to hear I got my heart broken?"

He shakes his head slightly. "If it can be broken, that means it still works."

Green eyes hold the gaze of his blue ones for nearly a minute. He doesn't move, barely breathes and tries not to think as he knows she is trying to read him. Its too much of a risk to let anything slip now.

-\\-

His heart swells at the sight of her approaching, Henry hanging back. She flashes him a small smile and tucks her hands into the back pockets of her jeans, the most open and welcoming stance she's ever provided him. "To what do I owe this pleasure, Swan?" He says unable to keep the joy of seeing her from his voice.

"I was wondering if you could watch Henry." She asks shyly.

He grins, thrilled she trusts him enough to watch her son. He watched her hesitation when her parents and Regina offered to look after him and could tell it wasn't just because she was concerned they would say something to further entice Henry to question her about their strange trip to this town. "If you wanted to get close to me," he says swaying towards her and biting on his bottom lip, "You needn't use the lad as an excuse."

Hook watches as she shifts her weight from foot to foot, rolling her eyes at him but still offering a slight smile. "I need your help." She confesses. "Cause Regina needs to train me in magic. Maybe together we can defeat the witch."

His eyes light up at her admission but he can sense her hesitancy in the plan. "That's the first reasonable plan I've heard since all this began. Magic is a part of you, Swan. Don't forget...I was there when Cora tried to steal your heart. I saw the power inside you. It's about time you embraced it. It's what makes you the savior."

Her smile slips and he realizes he's gone too far with the unrequested pep talk. He watches as her walls come up again and she physically takes a step back from him. "I'm not embracing anything. I just need to use my magic to defeat Zelena and then I'm done. Henry doesn't belong here, not anymore when he doesn't have his memories. In New York he's safe from villains and has friends there, a life."

His lips draw into a thin line. What started as a light and flirty conversation that he could have replayed over and over again in his mind has resorted back to this. He pushes her too hard and her walls come back up but he'll be damned if he is going to let her just pack up the boy and return back to New You like her entire family wasn't right in front of her. "And what about you? You know this is real. You're just going to give up on your parents and everyone else here and pretend this never happened? Trust me. I spent the entire last year doing just that and it didn't work."

"What are you not telling me?" There's an unexpected softness to her voice.

He shakes his head. "It matters not. Just take it from me, no matter how much you wish you could go back to your old life, you can't."

-\\-

Dice probably isn't the most appropriate game he could be teaching the lad, but he figures Emma will be too preoccupied with the witch and learning magic to make too much of a fuss about it. "You want to know the secret to winning?" He asks with a grin, rolling the dice between his fingers.

"Practice?" Henry asks and Hook nearly laughs at the child's innocence.

"No, my boy." He says rolling the dice onto the table. "Loaded dice."

"That's cheating." Henry replies.

Hook shrugs. "Only if you get caught."

The chime on Granny's door jingles and he can see David and Mary Margaret entering, someone hidden behind them. He's immediately suspicious as they approach the table and Mary Margaret explains that the woman inappropriately dressed for the weather is Ariel and she is looking for her Prince; Eric. "Sorry lass." He lies. "Never heard of him."

David gives him a cold look before grabbing his arm and hauling him out of the booth away from the others. "Come on Hook. Think. Are you sure you can't remember anything?"

"My apologies, mate but I think I'd remember if I came across a prince." He replies, hoping they'll think of something to find Eric and leave quickly.

Mary Margaret lights up. "The curse brought back our things as well. If we can just find something of Eric's, it should lead us right to him." She says, gently pushing Ariel in the direction of Hook.

He grins. "Sounds like a plan. Best of luck with that." He turns back toward Henry, trying to think of some other game he could teach him.

David's hand claps down on his shoulder again. "You'd be far more helpful than us. You might remember something that we can't."

"But someone needs to keep an eye on the boy." He flounders for an excuse.

"We can do that!" Mary Margaret chimes in brightly as though this has been their plan all along.

He pulls David away from them again. "I don't think this the best idea, mate. Let's be honest. There's only one reason why the mermaid can't find her prince...he's dead. It'd be cruel to ply her with false hope."

David smiles brightly. "There's no such thing. You just have to believe. No go!"

He closes his eyes and sighs, resigned that there is no way out of this now. He looks at Ariel and gestures toward the door. They walk in silence to Gold's shop and despite knowing the man is not inside, he still squares his shoulders and grits his teeth before holding open the door for Ariel.

While Belle and Ariel catch up, he takes the time to really look around the shop, curious to see what the Crocodile has acquired and if any of it was previously in his own possession. His eyes land on his spyglass, standing on a shelf in the back room. "Ah, there you are." He mutters aloud, fingers closing over the aged metal. He extends it, bringing the scope to his eye and taking in the items within the room. The clasp of a cloak catches his eye and he's nearly crossed the room to hide it when Ariel and Belle enter, finding him standing directly in front of it.

"That's Eric's!" Ariel exclaims. "How did you know it was his?"

"I didn't. The sea-creature on the clasp made me wonder if it was his as you said he was from a maritime kingdom." He lies, hoping the fact that his fingers are awkwardly scratching behind his ear has not given him away.

Belle has grabbed the cloak and returned to the front counter. She pulls a potion from a cabinet and pours it over the cloak, explaining to Ariel that it is a locator spell and it will lead them to Eric. The cloak lifts and floats out the front door. Ariel nearly sprints after it and he finds himself trudging along behind her at a much slower pace.

His stomach clenches as they make their way to the docks, the cloak hovering over the water just out of reach from the last pier before diving into the water. Ariel gasps. "I saved Eric from the sea once before. I just never thought I would lose him to it in the end."

"A sailor couldn't hope for a better resting place." He says softly.

"Thank you." Her voice is nearly a whisper.

"I didn't do anything." He says, unwilling to accept any thanks for following a cloak when he knew where it was going to lead.

"You found Eric's cloak. I would have never stopped looking for him. At least now I know that our story is over...I just wish I knew how it ended." Her voice breaks before she continues. "You're more than a pirate, Hook. You have a true heart. I'll always be grateful that you tried to help me."

He winces and swallows hard through the lump that has taken up residence in his throat. "I have a confession." He takes a deep breath, waiting for her to turn toward him. "I haven't been entirely truthful with you...with myself. Our paths crossed during the missing year."

She steps back, shocked at his admission but he continues his tale, telling her how she found him in a tavern in the Enchanted Forest claiming that he had taken her prince hostage on the Jolly Roger. The fire flowing through his veins when she showed him the dagger Eric's man had managed to escape with. Of all the things that could have happened to his ship since their return to the Enchanted Forest, the Jolly being captained by Blackbeard was the one he wished for the least. He tells her of their plan, to take back his ship and to save Eric in the process, but things changed when they got on board. He tells her of how he fought against Blackbeard to take back his ship and ultimately won, but when Blackbeard found out he had brought Ariel along to find out where Eric was being held captive, he taunted Hook for going soft and he forced Blackbeard overboard before he would reveal the location of the island where he was keeping her prince.

"I am so sorry Ariel. I sacrificed your prince for saving my ship." He says brokenly, hoping she has the heart to forgive him.

He barely flinches as her hand rears back and slaps him across the face. He deserves no less. "You're a coward! And a monster!" She yells at him. "You let a man die for _your ship_!? What kind of person does that?"

"The kind who is empty, who believes that a ship can fill a void left by a broken heart." He confesses.

"And that makes it okay?" She exclaims.

He can no longer bring himself to meet her eyes. Every moment where Emma has not managed to invade his mind he has playing his encounter with Ariel and Blackbeard over and over again in his mind. He was foolish and immature to let Blackbeard's taunting affect him as it did but the pirate's words had cut deep, twisting into his still raw broken heart and he allowed the anger to course through him, blocking out Ariel's pleas as he prodded the other pirate off the plank. "No, it doesn't. I would give anything to take it back, to make things right." He says, meaning every word.

"Anything?" She asks and in hindsight the sudden lightness and curiosity to her voice should have alerted him to the fact that something was not right.

"How am I supposed to trust a man who no longer believes in love?" She sneers.

"I still do." He half sobs the concession.

"Then swear to me on it. This woman that broke your heart… do you still love her?"

"Yes." His voice is but a whisper nearly carried away over the water.

Her voice hardens. "Then swear to me on her name."

He swallows hard, forcing himself to raise his eyes and meet hers. The least he can do is look her in the eye as he admits his true feelings to someone other than himself. "I swear on Emma Swan." It comes out more broken than he intended, fresh waves of pain rolling over him as though he was watching her drive away from him all over again.

"Thank you Captain. That's exactly what I needed to hear."

His lips begin to tingle and he looks up startled, to find that the heartbroken mermaid is no longer standing before him, but the green witch herself. His hand automatically goes to his sword as he steps back. "Zelena?" He asks confused. "Where's Ariel?"

The witch rolls her eyes. "Relax." She drawls, flicking her wrist and knocking his sword onto the dock out of his reach. "She was never really here. After she left you on your beloved ship she actually found where Blackbeard was keeping her prince. She found him on Hangman's island, which was outside the force of the curse. They've been living happily ever after since. Don't you just love a good twist?" Her face sneers into an evil smile, eyes flashing.

"I don't understand. Why would you pretend to be her?" Hook asks trying to make sense of the woman standing before him.

"To corrupt your love." She replies almost gleefully. "I've known about your dirty little secret for quite some time. I knew it haunted you and I knew I could use it."

"Use it for what?" He spits back at her.

"When you invoked the name of your love in a selfish plea for redemption, I was able to curse you. More specifically...your kiss. So the next time your lips touch Emma Swan's, her magic will be taken. Everything that makes her special, that makes her powerful, will be taken." The witch explains.

"I won't do it. I'll tell her and she'll defeat you." He argues.

"Then I'll send the Dark One to kill her before you can." She replies.

"No, you won't." He says, catching on. "If you could kill her, you would have. You need her power removed. It's why you didn't kill her when she came to town. It's why you had that monkey looking after her in New York. For some reason, you _can't."_

"I may not be able to hurt Emma," She confesses, "But I can hurt those around her. Her parents, friends..her child."

Rage fills him. "Do not go near them." He growls at her.

She smiles saccharinely. "You're out of your depth pirate. The choice is yours. Kiss Emma and remove her powers or everyone she loves dies." She vanishes in a swirl of green smoke.

Hook manages to calm himself down enough before reaching the Charming's apartment. He's sure if he tells David and Mary Margaret they'll find some way to stop Zelena and Emma will need to be made none the wiser of his encounter with the witch and her disgusting plans.

He knocks and feels the color drain from his face as she opens the door to him. He was not expecting her to be there, figuring she would still be with her Regina learning magic and he would have more than enough time to brainstorm a solution with her parents.

"What are you doing here? Where's Henry?" She asks, looking over his shoulder, expecting her son to follow him into the loft.

He knows he's fidgeting but cannot stop it. "He's fine, he's with his grandparents. I assumed they'd be back here."

She nods, accepting his response. "If you weren't with Henry, what were you doing all day?"

Hook nearly groans. He knows she's just asking to be polite but he can't tell her the truth. "I was enlisted to help Ariel find her lost prince."

Regina spins around. "Really? That fish is in Storybrooke?"

"She was." He replies carefully. "We found a clue in Gold's shop that allowed us to discover he had been shipwrecked on Hangman's Island. Ariel is on her way there now, she wanted me to say goodbye to Mary Margaret."

It is then he notices the large mirror both women are standing in front of. The Queen suggests Emma use her magic to look into the mirror and see if Ariel has yet arrived.

"It's bad form to spy on such a private reunion." He quickly protests, but Emma ignores him and follows Regina's instructions on how to use mirror magic.

He examines the grooves of the wood floor, unable to watch as Emma finds out his is a liar and a failure.

"You did this?" She asks softly and his head whips up to see an image of Ariel hugging Eric in the mirror.

Whether from shame or embarrassment he is not sure, but he feels his face and ears flush. "No. It was all Ariel. She never stopped believing."

She snorts and raises an eyebrow at him. "Modesty? You sure are full of surprises today."

Thankfully, her parents and Henry chose that moment to enter the apartment. Emma tells her mother that Ariel has just checked in with them after finding Eric and Mary Margaret decides they need to celebrate with dinner at Granny's.

"I should take my leave." He mumbles, backing away toward the door.

"You're not coming?" She asks, genuinely surprised.

Had his heart not been so heavy with guilt from Ariel and now the curse on his lips, he would have been elated that she thought enough of him to join them for a celebratory dinner. "Perhaps another time." He says, exiting the apartment, needing to get away and be alone as quickly as possible.

He's made it down a few stairs when her voice calls out to him. "Killian?" She says softly.

Despite everything, he can't stop his eyes from lighting up that she has referred to him by his given name when she could have called him Hook. Henry was safely on the other side of the apartment door. He allows himself to take in her face for a moment, open and warm, and regrets it immediately. It only makes him want to kiss her.

She speaks again, bringing him back. "Whatever happened this past year, whatever you're not telling me...I don't care. I'm tired of living in the past."

His eyes flutter shut briefly. It was as though the witch had known Emma was beginning to open up to him and trust him and there could be a possibility of a friendship or more and now she had taken that away from him. He can barely hold her gaze as he replies. "I know how you feel."

With a slight tilt of his head he continues down the steps and out onto the street of Storybrooke, knowing he has left her confused with his response. He wonders if he should tell her about the curse but ultimately decides against it. If he just said the witch cursed him against her, she'd press for more information and he'd have to tell her the whole story. She had just started to trust him and open up to him and he knows his betrayal of Ariel and confession of feelings toward Emma would cause her to only retreat further. He knows its selfish and will only hurt him in the end, but he can't bear to lose her again so he'll withhold this information and hope they can find a way to defeat the witch before she realizes he will never kiss Emma to take away her magic.


	25. Chapter 25: loss of trust

chapter 25: loss of trust

"Zelena came by this morning. The Dark One was stealing my heart while she was here gloating. She said that my weakness is I don't know enough of her past. So, I have decided to summon someone who does. We have to talk to my mother." Regina drops that bomb as they all take their seats at the round table.

"What do we need to do?" Emma asks.

"Take each others hands and focus on Cora." Regina replies offering out both her hands.

Emma realizes she is sitting to Killian's left. With a sideways glance she can see his hooked arm is resting on his leg. She nudges her knee against his, giving him a pointed glance when he meets her eyes. Finally he places his hook on the table with a grimace. She rests her hand gingerly where the his brace and hook meet.

The portal opens but nothing happens at first. Emma peeks her eyes open, finding her father sneaking a look around the table as well. Just when she's about to tell Regina that this is a waste of time, the table starts shaking.

"Sorry, love. That was me. Crossed my legs and bumped the table." Hook says and Emma gives him another sideways glance. They're close enough together at the table that she can feel the heat from his leg next to her own. Had he actually crossed his legs, even his ankles, she's sure she would have felt it. He meets her questioning glance but says nothing, face remaining void of all emotion.

As she walks toward the stairs to leave Regina's, Hook steps aside allowing her to go first with a gentle graze of his fingers against her lower back. She doesn't mean to freeze, but the gesture reminded her of something Killian used to do in Boston. Surprised Hook had done it, the gesture not fitting in with his sullen mood, she turns to face him, expecting a smile or at least a smirk, but he simply presses his lips together.

He remains sullen and nearly silent as they sit at a booth in Granny's. The diner is closed for the night but Granny has given her a key, saying they can all meet there as needed to discuss defeating the witch as long as they don't drink all the liquor and promise to lock up afterward. He's flipping through a spell book, hoping to find some trace of what Zelena is planning and she figures she might as well practice her magic.

She makes herself a cup of hot chocolate, topping it with whipped cream and cinnamon. Closing her eyes and thinking of the cup, she flicks her wrist and hears a faint popping sound. Opening her eyes she sees the cup has moved. She turns to Hook, finding the steaming mug of hot chocolate resting on the table in front of him. "Boom!" She exclaims. "Granny's to go! I should start a franchise."

He offers her a faint smile but it doesn't even reach his eyes. "It's impressive." He says but his usual pride at her magic is not behind it.

"What to see something really impressive?" She smiles at him, eyes flashing. She flicks her wrist again. There's a clanking noise behind her. She can't help but laugh at the shock and outrage on his face.

"That's bad form Swan, tampering with a man's hook." He says dully as he gets up to retrieve it.

"Okay, seriously? What is up with you?" She asks. They're alone and while they should be searching for how to defeat the witch, Emma knows this is the perfect opportunity to figure out what has caused her pirate to go from flirting and salacious winks to this distracted, sullen shell of a man.

He clicks his hook back into place, looking up at her. "I apologize for my rudeness. It's a long story. Too long for now."

"Okay…" She drags out the word. Her parents aren't expecting her at any specific time. Right now, there's no such thing as too long of a story for the current time. Emma takes in his closed off expression and decides to stop pushing him, hoping that he'll tell her what is going on in his own time. "Obviously something's…" She starts but is interrupted as Belle bursts into the diner.

"She's planning to go back in time." Belle says, hands pressed onto the table as she catches her breath.

-\\-

After speaking with her parents and Regina, they confirm that Belle is correct. Zelena needs something here in order to cast the curse, but without their memories they have no idea what it could be. Regina realizes that it was Emma's belief in magic that broke the spell of the first curse, so it's likely that if Henry were to believe, they would all get their memories back. The storybook seems the most obvious way to convince Henry to believe so she finds herself digging through a wooden chest in her parents loft.

Even though she knows Henry believing plays a very large part in the ability to defeat Zelena, she can't help but hope that they won't find the storybook and Henry can remain blissfully unaware. Her mother sees the reluctance on her face when the book is found and presses her to ask to why. Ignoring the hurt look on her mother's face, she says that once Zelena is gone, they're going back to New York.

-\\-

Henry didn't stay in their room at Granny's like he said he would. She checks the diner first but finds no sight of him. Trying not to panic, she rushes to the docks with her parents, hoping her son has set out to find Hook and spend more time on the water.

From a distance she can see Henry, Hook and Smee running into the boathouse, Zelena's monkeys hot on their tail. Vaguely she hears Hook yell no and sees as a monkey is descending on her son. Without a second thought she fires, bringing the monkey down as she darts towards Henry.

"Henry are you okay?" She asks, gasping for breath.

His eyes dart to each of them, confusion etched on his face. "Yeah...but what were those things? And why does he have a sword?" He points at David.

"I promise, its all going to make sense in a minute, kid." Emma tries to keep her voice calm. She hands him the book, her heart beating loudly in her chest as she waits to see if he will believe and all of their memories will return.

"I remember!" He says excitedly and just as Emma is about to lean forward to kiss his forehead he disappears.

He appears a few feet away, being restrained by Zelena. "Let him go. He has nothing to do with this." Her voice is full of cold fury.

Zelena smiles wickedly. "Don't blame me. The captain failed me."

"Hook what is she talking about?" Emma asks, never taking her eyes off her son.

"He knew what the price of failure was. Your son's life." Zelena says cheerfully.

She can't think about whether Hook has betrayed her or not right now. Zelena's arms are around Henry and she needs to get him to safety. She focuses on freeing him, screaming at him to run the second that her magic touches Zelena. She disappears in a cloud of green smoke.

-\\-

"Are you going to tell me what Zelena was talking about?" She asks Hook now that Henry is safe.

"Don't listen to her." Is his only response. She expected a much stronger defense.

"Killian, what's going on? Are you working for her?" She asks quietly, hoping the answer is no.

"The witch tried to back me into a corner. I did everything I could to resist her plans." He says, providing her with the barest of details.

"So whose idea was it to kidnap Henry and stick him on a boat?" Emma asks.

"Mine. I was trying to save him." He says.

"From what? What is she doing?" She asks, digging her nails into her palm. She knows he is lying to her, keeping information from her but she doesn't know what it could be.

He sighs. "She cursed me. My lips actually. She wants to steal your magic. She thought I was the best way of doing that. She knows what we all know, that you can defeat her."

She blinks twice before responding. There was nothing between her and Hook. Zelena had no reason to believe that he was likely enough to kiss her and steal her magic. It was too risky."It should have been my decision to protect Henry." She says, focusing on the fact that she feels betrayed by his decision not to tell her about any of this earlier. "Whether she forced your hand or not, it doesn't matter. I can't trust you now. How can I?"

She tells herself it was the right thing to do, to say even as she watches his face fall.


	26. Chapter 26: (failed) plan to save Henry

I feel bad for not posting as much as I said I would last week, so here's another chapter for you.

I can't reply to reviews for some reason so here are my thoughts on them. I, too, hated the scene in the show where Emma tells Hook she can't trust him anymore for trying to protect Henry. I thought it felt forced and I hardly believe for a second that Emma really thought Hook would ever hurt her son. I can only assume what the writers were trying to do was give Emma some reason to be angry so that when she and Hook go searching for Zelena in the next episode, she's too preoccupied with her anger and their argument to realize they practically walked right up to Zelena and Rumple. That's why I chose to include it in the story, to play off the out-of-character-ness of it for the next chapters. As for Snow and Charming jumping all over Hook in the trust scene, I was not a fan of that either which is why I left it out. I understand that parents will typically always side with their children, but this was excessive. The man did find their daughter and bring her back to help them break a curse, something I'm not sure Charming or Snow would have been able to do because they're too emotional with Emma...but perhaps that's the point in that scene. They hastily let their emotions control their reaction which just further proves why Hook is always the one to get through to Emma as we see throughout the rest of the show.

As for this story being just like the show...that's intentional. My AU Emma from the beginning has the same character flaws and tendency to run as Emma does in the show and I felt like the progression of their relationship as portrayed in the show would be realistic. I didn't start writing this again with the intent to change the Captain Swan story line, I just wanted to further the idea that Emma and Hook are always going to meet and be in each others lives. The rest of the story is going to follow the timeline of Season 3 with more insight of how the characters feel and how their relationship is developing. I hope you'll all continue reading, but I understand if this isn't your thing.

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chapter 26: (failed) plan to save Henry

"What do we need to do?" Emma asks. He's sitting at the queen's dining room table with Emma and her parents. The queen believes they need more information about Zelena and that Cora is the best person to ask. Even in ghostly form, he has no interest in seeing Regina's mother again and really wishes he were anywhere but here right now.

"Take each others hands and focus on Cora." Regina replies offering her hands out.

His stomach clenches when he realizes Emma is sitting to his left. He offers up his right hand, leaving his hook resting on his leg under the table and staring straight ahead. Her knee bumps into his and he can feel her eyes on him. Reluctantly, he places his right forearm on the table, keeping his wrist turned inward so his hook faces away from her. He hasn't had feeling in his wrist in more than a century, the skin too covered with scar tissue to have any sensitivity left, but he swears he feels the warmth of her fingers as they slide across his arm and rest gingerly at the point where his wrist and hook meet.

Their seance results are less than satisfactory but he's more than ready to leave. He steps to the side, allowing Emma to walk down the steps in front of him. Practically of its own accord, his fingers reach out and graze the small of her back. It's meant to be a comforting gesture but he has no idea why he has done it. They don't have that type of relationship. When she stiffens a Boston memory emerges from below the surface. That version of him had always done this with her, enjoying her amused smiles as she teased him for being old fashioned. She turns to face him, surprisingly him with only a questioning look. He expected a scowl or retort and in her openness finds himself pressing his lips together to not reveal his secrets to her.

-\\-

It's hard to concentrate with Emma in such close proximity. He finds himself idly flipping through the pages of spellbook, his eyes flitting over the pictures but his mind is not retaining any of the information.

"Boom!" She exclaims, startling him. "Granny's to go! I should start a franchise!"

It's only then he notices the cup of steaming cup of cocoa, dusted with cinnamon sitting on the table in front of him. "It's impressive." He says, barely meeting her eyes before looking down at the spellbook once again.

Unwilling to be deterred at his unusual lack of enthusiasm, she engages him again. "Want to see something really impressive?" With a flick of her wrist there is a clanging noise ahead of him. As his eyes fall on the shiny object, the lack of weight on his left arm dawns on him.

Squinting his eyes at her, he stands and retrieves his hook. "That's bad form, Swan. Tampering with a man's hook." He can't keep the edge out of his voice.

"Okay, seriously? What is up with you?" She asks.

He sighs, clicking his hook back into place. He hadn't intended to take his foul mood out on her but there is only so much torture a man can take. She's finally beginning to be less hostile towards him and despite every part of his body burning with the desire to flirt and tease her as he once would, he can't take that chance. She stands too close, looks at him too carefully now and he can't let the words fall from his lips. "I apologize for my rudeness. It's a long story. Too long for now."

"Okay...obviously something…" She starts, but is interrupted by Belle bursting into the diner and dropping a spellbook on the table in front of him with such force that the cocoa sloshes over the side of the cup.

"She's planning to go back in time."

-\\-

It must have been magic. One moment he was strolling along at the docks, lost in thought and the next moment he was lying inside the trunk of a vehicle, his arms tied together at the wrists behind his back. Matching rope held his ankles together, a piece of cloth shoved in his mouth and tied tightly around the back of his head. He knows there are only two people who would do this.

The bumping along finally stops and he's blinded by the bright winter sun reflecting off the snow as the trunk is opened. He squints and then she comes into view. Surprisingly gentle she pulls the cloth from his mouth. "We're in Storybrooke. You've never heard of a telephone?" He taunts her once he can speak again.

She chuckles softly, brushing the petals of a rose over his lips. "Such pretty lips. And so wasted. Why haven't you used those luscious lips and kissed him?"

"A fellow likes to be courted." He retorts.

Zelena sneers. "This isn't a joke. I need to have her magic removed. If Snow's baby is born before you kiss, I'm going to have no other option. I'm going to have to start killing people. People that Emma loves. Starting with her son." She flicks the rose onto his chest. "Take away her magic, Captain, or the next rose will be on her little brat's grave."

-\\-

He finds Henry lingering outside Emma's yellow vessel, keys in hand. "Where are you off to there, mate?" He asks.

The boy freezes before turning around to meet his eyes. "Uh, no where."

Hook looks between the Henry's face and the keys in his hand. "You're in quite the rush to go nowhere."

"Fine, I'm going home." Henry says defiantly.

"Mmm." Hook nods as though he is not surprised. "You're running away."

"Whatever." Henry replies.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that. It's too dangerous." Hook says, stepping closer.

"Well, I don't care what you think." Henry pulls the door open.

Swiftly but gently he closes the door with his hook. "Well, you should. Cause I've got a better way." He smiles at Henry hoping the lad will follow through with his plan.

He does, eagerly following him to the docks where they run into Smee. Hook nods at Henry to stay where he is and steps forward to speak to Smee in private. "Smee, I need you to take the young lad here and get out of Storybrooke. It's not safe for him now."

"You're stealing a boat, right?" Henry asks, interrupting their conversation.

He sighs. He should have remembered how incredibly perceptive the lad is, even without his memories. "Do you want to go to New York or not?" He asks.

"Why are you helping me?" Henry asks but Hook barely hears him. Instead his ears are filled with the noise of loudly flapping wings.

"Mr. Smee, we need to get the lad to the boat house. Now." He commands, never taking his eyes off the circling winged creatures above them.

They make it to the boathouse but the monkeys are quick to follow. He shouts out an order to Henry and Smee to find the nearest boat and leave, but Henry trips over a coil of rope. One of the monkeys descends toward him. "No!" He shouts, pulling the pistol from his jacket and aiming at the winged creature but before he can fire, he hears the sound of a gun and the monkey falls from the air.

He turns to find that Emma, David, Mary-Margaret and Regina have come running into the boathouse. Emma reaches her son first. He watches in silence as Emma hands Henry his storybook after making sure he is okay. Telling him to trust her and just believe, he watches as Henry's memories return and Emma leans forward to kiss him and break the curse but Henry disappears before their very eyes.

Zelena is holding him to her, nearly twenty feet away. His fingers tighten on the pistol wishing he were a better shot to know he could clearly take out the witch without any chance of harming the boy.

"Let him go." Emma says coldly. "He has nothing to do with this."

Zelena's high pitched laugh echos off the wooden beams of the boathouse. "Don't blame me, the captain has failed."

"Hook what is she talking about?" Emma asks stiffly, never taking her eyes off her son.

He opens his mouth to explain but Zelena cuts him off, laughing cheerfully. "He knew what the price of failure was; your son's life."

Two jets of white light burst from Emma's hands knocking Zelena backward and freeing Henry who immediately runs from the green woman.

-\\-

"Don't listen to her." Is his only defense when Emma asks him what Zelena had meant.

"Killian, what's going on? Are you working for her?" She asks. It pains him that she's using his given name when her voice is so full of mistrust.

"The witch backed me into a corner. I did everything I could to resist her plans."

"So whose idea was it to kidnap Henry and stick him on a boat?" Emma demands.

He didn't kidnap her son. Henry went willingly with him but he knows it is not his place to explain how he found Henry. "Mine. I was trying to save him." He says.

"From what? What is she doing?" She demands, voice rising in anger.

He sighs. There is no way to get out of this without telling her about the curse. "She cursed me. My lips actually. She wants to steal your magic. She thought I was the best way of doing that. She knows what we all know, that you can defeat her." He replies sullenly, hoping that Emma will not ask him to spell out that the witch expects them to kiss. He sees when the recognition flashes in her eyes and waits for her response.

"It should have been my decision to protect Henry. Whether or not she forced your hand or not, it doesn't matter. I can't trust you now. How can I?"

His mouth opens to reply, to plead with her that he was just trying to keep Henry safe and that he would never do anything to harm him or any of them but the words don't come out. He can tell from the cold lines her lips have set into that there is no room for negotiation. Her walls are back up and she has shut him and everyone else out and will not listen to anything anyone tells her.


	27. Chapter 27: lost magic

**Sorry, last week just got away from me. Here's to posting at least 4 chapters this week! **

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chapter 27: lost magic

_It's time. Meet us at the hospital. _As Emma reads the text message from her father, a rock forms in her stomach. She's not ready. They're not ready. Not just to take on Zelena to ensure that her new sibling stays safe, but she's not ready to have a sibling, to watch her mother get to really be a new mother for the first time. She's not ready to watch them bond and form a relationship in the way that she'll never be able to.

"Come on, kid. We gotta go to the hospital." She says to Henry, ushering him out the door.

Seeing her mother in a hospital gown in the maternity ward of the hospital reminds her of her own hospital visit, just over a decade ago. She can almost feel the sharp burn of the handcuffs cutting into her skin as she twists her body against the pain of the contractions. She remembers the lights flickering and the sound of her own cries as she pushed Henry out. The doctor's voice sounded far away as she clenched her eyes shut and turned her head. "I can't be a mother." Her real memories clash together in her mind with the ones Regina gave her after the last curse. "Wait!" She calls out to the nurse holding Henry who quickly brings him over to her. And then it is all a jumble of fake memories. Middle of the night wake ups when Henry wouldn't sleep, first words and steps and birthday parties. School field trips and friends coming over to play. They're all hazy and blurred, the colors not quite sharp enough and Henry's face never coming into focus. It's how she knows they were never her own. They are realistic though, so much so that Emma believes Regina must have taken from her own memories in order to pass this onto her.

"Swan."

She startles at the sound of his voice, shaken from her thoughts. He is the last person she expected to see or hear from anytime soon. "I don't think it's a good idea for you to be here right now." Her voice is cold.

"I want to help." He says.

She hadn't noticed her father had come out of the hospital room until he spoke. "Emma, you don't need to take down Zelena alone. Hook, you're going with her."

"I thought you didn't trust me." Hook says to her father as her eyes dart between the two of them.

"Zelena backed you into a corner. You did the best you could." Her father declares.

She doesn't miss the smug smile on his face. "See, even your father gets it."

"I'm doing this alone." She argues with them.

"No, you're not." Her father takes on an authoritative tone. "This isn't about you. It's about all of us and I'm saying you're not doing it alone."

She almost smiles at the fatherly tone he's adopted, knowing he's waited quite some time to use it on her. "What's he going to do? I have magic. He has one hand." She bites out, not caring how her words may hurt him.

His eye roll at her is impressive, as though he expected her to say something like that. "You know I'm good in a fight."

"At the very least, he can draw fire." Her father chimes in.

"What now I'm cannon fodder?" He exclaims incredulously.

They're wasting time. Her mother could give birth at any moment and there are no guarantees that the spell Regina put on the hospital will be enough to keep Zelena out. "Fine. You can come. Now let's go." She says, striding past him.

The drive to the woods nearest the farmhouse is silent. Her fingers tap impatiently on the steering wheel, magic and anger mixing together in her blood. She hopes the walk to the farmhouse in the bitterly cold weather they're having will be enough to clear her head. She knows they won't be able to win this fight if she's preoccupied and she's doing her best to ignore him, but the sideways glances he keeps giving her as they trudge through the nearly ankle deep snow cause her to snap. Maybe if she just gets her frustrations out on him now, she'll be calm enough to face the witch.

"I should have never brought Henry to Storybrooke." She bites out accusingly.

"You did what you thought was right." He replies evenly.

"I did what you manipulated me into." She pushes, urging him to take the bait and argue back with her.

His eyes close for a fraction of a second longer than they needed to. "Your parents needed you, Swan. The town needed you."

"Henry also needed me. We were happy in New York. Once I'm done with this witch, I'd like us to be happy again."

He sighs. "It wasn't real there. Like it or not, there's a big part of you and Henry that belongs in this town."

She snorts. "Yeah, the part of us that's always in danger. We're leaving as soon as this is over with."

"What does Henry want?" He asks.

"He's a kid. He wants chocolate milk in his cereal. I'm his mother and I know what's best for him."

"Best for you, or best for him?" Hook asks bitterly.

"Excuse me?"

"You've taken care of the boy quite well here. You can talk about danger all you'd like, but that isn't is. So tell me, what is it?" He stops ahead of her, turning back to face her. "Why are you so scared of staying? I think it's because you can see a future here, a happy one."

"Let me guess. With you?" She asks sarcastically.

"Aww. You two are so adorable!" Zelena's voice cuts through the cold air, sickeningly sweet. "But instead of looking for each other, maybe you should be focused on me. Although, without magic, that could prove to be a challenge."

Emma is furious. During her argument with Hook she must have picked up the pace. Neither of them realized they had entered the front yard of the farmhouse until Zelena spoke. So much for a sneak or surprise attack. She turns to face the witch. "Next time you try to take my power, why don't you try enchanting the lips of someone I'd actually kiss?"

Zelena offers her an exaggerated, shoulder-heaving sigh. "You've got a decision to make. You can keep your magic or you can save the man that you can't wait to run away from. Rumple."

Before either of them can react, Rumple has lifted Hook in the air and thrown him head first into a pool of icy cold water. "Hook!" She shouts, running forward and grabbing his shoulders.

"Choose wisely. Try all you like, you can't free him." Zelena says before sweeping herself and Rumple up in a cloud of green smoke.

The second they disappear the hold Rumple had over Hook released. She nearly staggered back with the force of him finally coming out of the water. "Hook! Hook!" She keeps yelling his name as she tries to remember how to help someone who nearly drown. _Are they supposed to be on their back or side? Or maybe just tilt their head to the side? _She opts for shaking him instead, knowing it won't do any good. "Killian, come back to me." She pleads with his lifeless form.

She leans closer to him, her face so close to his that she knows no air is coming from his nose. "Son of a bitch. Hook, come back to me." She mutters before pressing her lips to his. It's not even an attempt at mouth-to-mouth because she knows pressing her lips to his will take her magic but save his life. There's no question, no matter what happens and no matter how angry she may be at him, she can't let him die for her.

It feels as though a lifetime passes before his eyes flutter open and he spits out a mouthful of water. His fingers immediately go to his lips. "Swan, what did you do? What did you do?" He asks looking at her in horror.

He won't even look at her on their drive back to the hospital and only mutters an apology at dampening her vessel with his clothing as they pull up in front of the building.

She runs into her father, Regina and Henry in the hallway. "Did you find Zelena?" He asks.

Shame washes over her. "I did, but I couldn't stop her."

"She took your brother." Her father replies.

"Because I failed?" The words nearly make her sick to say aloud.

"We're all still here. You haven't failed yet." Hook says, coming up beside her. He must have swiped a towel from another room, looking significantly drier than a few moments ago.

"Hook's right, come on." David says, reaching out to take her arm.

"No wait. Zelena took my magic." She confesses.

"How the hell did that happen?" Regina asks.

She can see Hook start to open his mouth out of the corner of her eye. "Doesn't matter how." She says before he can relay the tale. "It just happened. So we need to find another way."

"There is no other way." The queen's face falls.

"That's not true. _You _can do it." Henry says, sincerely look at her.

Regina starts to shake her head and offer an explanation of why she can't, but Henry won't be deterred. "Zelena only beat you before because you were using dark magic against her. When you kissed me and broke the curse that was using light magic. You have both. You need to use the light magic to defeat her. Once upon a time you were a villain, mom. But you've changed. You're a hero now. And defeating bad guys is what hero's do. I believe in you. Now, you need to believe in you too."

They find Zelena and Gold in an old barn. Zelena is standing in the center of a crude drawing, holding the baby in one arm.

"This isn't over yet." David says as they enter the building.

Zelena looks up surprised. "And who's gonna stop me? Certainly not the savior."

At Zelena's request, Gold disarms them all, shoving them back against the bales of hay, except for Regina who she lifts up in the air, invisible fingers tightening around her throat. "Only light magic can harm me and you're as dark as they come. It was your destiny to be this way. And it'll also be your undoing." She smirks gleefully.

"Don't tell me what I can be." Regina bites out.

Zelena shrugs nonchalantly. "I tried to be good once, but it wasn't in the cards. This is who I am and it's who you are."

"You're wrong, sis." Regina says, balls of white magic forming in her outstretched hands.

"What are you doing?" Zelena asks, backing away slightly.

"Changing." Regina replies with a smirk before flowing the magic toward Zelena, knocking her back and releasing the hold on Gold's dagger. Regina moves forward, grabbing the green pendant from her sister's necklace.

-\\-

Emma tells her father to take her brother back to the hospital and that she'll be along shortly. She follows Regina and Gold to the Sheriff's station and watches as they place a now magicless Zelena in a jail cell. She has no idea what they're going to do with the woman, but at least she won't be able to harm anyone else.

Making her way back to the hospital, she stops just short of the entrance to her mother's room, choosing to watch her parents and new sibling from the outside. The irony is not lost on her, but she still manages a smile at the scene in front of her. Her mother holds her brother to her chest, her father leaning over them both protectively.

"Never thought I'd see one of those." He says softly from behind her.

She turns around and raises her eyebrows at him. "It's called a baby."

He blinks at her, unimpressed. "No, Swan. A smile."

"We won." She says simply.

His fingers come up to scratch behind his ear. "In all of the chaos I never got a chance to say thank you."

"You really think I'd let you drown?" She says surprised.

He smiles back at her. "Given our history, can you blame me for being uncertain?"

She gives him a small laugh, immediately remembering their time on the beanstalk.

"Has your magic returned now that the witch has been defeated?" He asks.

"No." She says simply.

He frowns. "I'm sorry, love."

Emma smiles again. "It's okay. I won't need it in New York."


	28. Chapter 28: cold as ice

**10 chapters left! **

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chapter 28: cold as ice

He's done enough and he should stay away. That's what he tells himself as he finds himself heading toward the hospital. He was sitting in Granny's diner when he overheard Regina telling Granny that Mary-Margaret was headed to the hospital and the baby was coming. He finds her in the hallway and only hopes the brief amount of time apart has lessened her anger.

"Swan."

She turns to face him, anger still flashing in her eyes and he knows this is not going to be easy. "I don't think it's a good idea for you to be here right now."

"I want to help." He says sincerely as her father comes out of one of the rooms.

They speak quietly about Emma being the one to take down Regina. David looks up at him. "Emma you don't need to do this alone. Hook, you're going with her."

He's nothing if not surprised. David and Mary Margaret had been the first to back Emma up on her decision not to trust him yesterday and he has no idea where the sudden change of heart is coming from. "I thought you didn't trust me."

David frowns and offers him what he believes is a contrite smile. "Zelena backed you into a corner. You did the best you could."

He knows he shouldn't push his luck but the obvious anger flowing through her veins spurs him on. "See, even your father gets it."

He can only roll his eyes when she argues that he has just one hand. Clearly she was pretending to forget all of the times she'd seen him fight with one hand. She argues with her father a bit longer before finally agreeing that he can come along. He makes a note later on to thank Dave for this.

-\\-

He knows she is trying to pick a fight with him by the tone she uses, telling him that he manipulated her into returning to the town. They both know she made the decision to drink the memory potion of her own accord. "Your parents needed you. The town needed you."

"Henry also needed me. We were happy in New York. Once I'm done with this witch, I'd like us to be happy again." She says.

He sighs. "It wasn't real there. Like it or not, there's a big part of you and Henry that belongs here in this town."

She snorts at him. "Yeah the part of us that's always in danger. We're leaving as soon as this is over with."

He tries another tactic. "What does Henry want?"

"He's a kid. He wants chocolate milk in his cereal. I'm his mother and I know what's best for him." She says soundly.

"What's best for him? Or for you?" He asks, knowing he's pushing her buttons.

"Excuse me?"

"You've taken care of the boy quite well here. You can talk about danger all you'd like, but that isn't is. So tell me, what is it?" He stops ahead of her, turning back to face her. "Why are you so scared of staying? I think it's because you can see a future here, a happy one."

"Let me guess. With you?" She asks sarcastically.

"Aww. You two are so adorable!" Zelena's voice cuts through the cold air, sickeningly sweet. "But instead of looking for each other, maybe you should be focused on me. Although, without magic, that could prove to be a challenge."

He can feel the anger radiating off of Emma. They were both too caught up in conversation to notice they had wandered into the front yard of the farmhouse and directly into the waiting path of Zelena and Gold. Emma glares at the witch. "Next time you try to take my power, why don't you enchant the lips of someone I'd actually kiss?" She sneers.

Zelena offers her an exaggerated, shoulder-heaving sigh. "You've got a decision to make. You can keep your magic or you can save the man that you can't wait to run away from. Rumple."

The words just register in his mind but before he's able to wonder what that means, he feels his body being lifted from the ground and hurtling toward the pool of ice cold water in front of them. He tries to put his arms out to brace himself but he can't move. He barely has time to take a breath before he's being pushed into the cold water and held there.

Despite knowing struggling will not free him, it's a baser instinct to survive. His arms thrash through the cold water and he twists his head from side to side trying to break free of the hold. The invisible force holds him down harder as the bubbles of precious air escape from his nose and lips.

The pain begins to set in. The water is so cold it stings his skin, further taking his breath away. His head pounds, from the cold and the lack of oxygen. He can see the blackness at the corners of his eyes beginning to creep closer. He expects his life to flash before him, memories rushing through but nothing happens. It seems the frigid water creating so much pressure on his skull has shut down his brain to where even the memories can't come through. The last puff of air escapes his lips and he lets the blackness take over.

He vaguely feels weightless until his body slams into something hard and is momentarily surprised that even once dead the body can still feel pain. The upper half of him is being jostled around and it finally dawns on him that he must still be alive. He's caught somewhere in between, feeling his body being shaken but unable to hear or see anything. It's still cold and he just wants the shaking to go away so he can sleep.

There's a jolt of electricity pulsing through his body that brings him fully back into this world. Turning his head to the side he spits out a stream of pool water before flopping back down again onto the hard ground. She's hovering above him, blonde hair fanning out around her face like a halo. His lips tingle again and he realizes they are no longer cursed. "Swan! What did you do? What did you do?" He chokes out, too overwhelmed with anger that she lost her magic for him to see the tears of relief in her eyes.

-\\-

He lets her walk into the hospital first, stopping into another room to first wring the rest of the water from his clothes and hair. He finds her in the hallway, having just met up with her son, father and Regina and comes up to them just in time to hear her ask if her brother was taken because she failed.

His heart goes out to her. "We're all here. You haven't failed yet." He says softly.

"Hooks, right, come on." David says, making to move toward the exit.

"No wait, Zelena took my magic." Emma confesses.

"How the hell did that happen?" Regina demands.

He opens his mouth to speak, to weave some lie that will not allow Emma to feel like a failure for saving him, but she speaks first. "Doesn't matter how. It just happened. So we need to find another way."

"There is no other way." The queen says.

"That's not true. _You _can do it." Henry pipes up, looking at his adoptive mother. "Zelena only beat you before because you were using dark magic against her. When you kissed me and broke the curse that was using light magic. You have both. You need to use the light magic to defeat her. Once upon a time you were a villain, mom. But you've changed. You're a hero now. And defeating bad guys is what hero's do. I believe in you. Now, you need to believe in you too."

Emma tells him to stay back, to get checked out at the hospital but he waves her off saying he'll not let them go into battle against the witch without all the help they can get.

They find the witch and crocodile in an old barn and it doesn't take long before Zelena is commanding Rumple to disarm them all. He's momentarily knocked out as he slams into the bales of hay. When he comes to again, he sees white balls of light and magic forming in Regina's hands despite being held in the air by her sister.

Regina manages to defeat her, shooting the light magic toward the green woman and snatching the pendant from her neck. Regina, Gold and Emma take Zelena to the Sheriff's department and David takes his new son back to the hospital. He decides to return to Granny's taking a hot shower to remove the last chill from his bones and finally gives in and allows the widow to show him the modern appliance they use to quickly dry their clothing. He knows remaining in damp clothing in this cold weather will mean he'll likely catch his death and a dead man won't be able to convince Emma to stay here.

He returns to the hospital and finds Emma standing in the hallway, looking at her parents and new sibling from a distance. Despite the distance he know she has put between them purposely because she feels as though she doesn't deserve to be too close to them, a small smile is on her face.

"Never thought I'd see one of those." He says softly.

She turns to him, offering him an amused grin. "It's called a baby."

Of course she'd assume a fearsome pirate had never seen a child before. He blinks at her unimpressed. "No, Swan. A smile."

"We won." She says simply.

He glances around, fingers coming up to the back of his ear. "In all of the chaos I never got a chance to say thank you." He says rocking on his heels.

She offers him an incredulous look. "You really think I'd let you drown?"

He can't help but grin at that, knowing there is at least some small part of her that cares about him. He latches onto it, hoping its enough that he'll be able to convince her to stay. "Given our history, can you blame me for being uncertain?"

"Has your magic returned now that the witch has been defeated?" He asks.

"No." She says, shrugging.

"I'm sorry, love."

"It's okay. I won't need it in New York." She says with a bright grin before turning to look back at her parents, unaware or uncaring that she just caused great pain to the man standing in front of her. Part of him wants to stay, to pretend her words have meant nothing just so he can be in her presence but he forces himself to leave, not to intrude on her family time knowing they'll miss her even more than he will if she really does leave.


	29. Chapter 29: return to the enchanted fore

**Enjoy!**

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chapter 29: return to the enchanted forest

Her mother and brother were discharged from the hospital a few days ago. Whale had said that whatever Zelena may have done with the baby before trying to perform the spell had no lasting effects and aside from being hungry, the new royal would be just fine.

She woke up every time he cried those nights, the implanted memories of Henry as a baby coming rushing back to her. Most times she was out of bed and halfway down the stairs before she remembered it wasn't Henry crying. Mary-Margaret caught her standing on the stairs a few times, silently motioning for her to come down.

"I'm sorry he woke you." Mary Margaret said in a hushed tone, sitting down on the loveseat with her son in her arms.

"It's okay." Emma sat down next to her mother. "It's just...weird. I still have all of the memories that Regina gave me after the last curse. So I hear a baby crying and my subconscious must think it's Henry and then I'm getting out of bed and coming down here before I wake up enough to realize it's not him."

Her mother nods in understanding. "You'll want to get your own place I suppose. It's bad enough Henry has to sleep on the loveseat or the cot in your room when he's here now, but it's not fair to either of you to have to deal with a newborn."

She stares off into the kitchen. Now is not the time to tell her mother that she doesn't need to look for a place because they're not going to stay here. She never stopped paying rent on her apartment in New York and figured they'd hang out another week and then head back there, away from this crazy town with a revolving door of villains. "I guess." She says finally.

"The memories Regina gave you...do you think they are her own of Henry's?" Her mother asks softly.

"Not all of them, but yeah sometimes I think they must have really happened. Things like how Henry got a scar or where his birthmark is...I didn't know any of that when he brought me here the first time but now I do."

"Is there a point in those memories where you remember what sleep is?" Her mother asks with a jaw-cracking yawn.

"I think he was five before I got eight straight hours of sleep." Emma says.

Mary Margaret's eyes widen substantially as she glances down at the newborn in her arms. "I wish...I wish I had this with you."

"So you'd be more experienced this time?" Emma can't stop herself from asking, barely keeping the bitter tone out of her voice. She's managed to keep the tremors of jealously and bitterness inside since she got here but this one pushed it's way through. "Sorry I…"

"No." Her mother cuts her off. "It's a completely valid question. I won't lie to you Emma, the experience would be most appreciated but that's not the only reason, nor the main one. You're my daughter and I never got to see you grow up. We should have had these three a.m. moments too. I should have heard your first word, saw you take your first step, helped you choose your dress for your first ball. You're my daughter and I missed out on a lifetime of firsts. I'll have them with your brother, but they aren't the same. I know you were aware I wanted another child, but I need you to know Emma that we didn't just immediately start trying after the curse. It wasn't as though we thought "new land, time for a new child". We knew that we'd find you again. I thought once that happened, once we were all together again, then your father and I would start trying."

The words are exactly what Emma wanted to hear but somehow hearing them still doesn't quite make them real. She knows her mother isn't lying to her but the words don't comfort her as she expected them to.

"I know." She says, looking down at her brother. "He's asleep again. You should go back to bed too."

Mary Margaret nods knowing the conversation is over. "Good night Emma."

-\\-

"So what are you going to name him?" Henry asks, flipping a newspaper shut.

"There's this tradition, back in the Enchanted Forest, called a Coronation ceremony. That's usually where you announce the name of a new royal. But we've decided to have a simple potluck at Granny's instead." David explains.

"Why are you reading the newspaper, kid?" Emma asks.

"Looking at apartments. And pets. We should get a dog." Henry says, digging into the stack of pancakes in front of him.

"Apartments?" Emma asks bewildered.

"It's kinda crowded here, mom. I'm sure grandma and gramps won't mind if we get our own place. Especially if we get a dog." Henry replies nonchalantly.

"We'll talk about this later kid." Emma says.

-\\-

She finds Hook sitting outside Granny's diner on a small metal chair. "Kinda cold out here. You coming in for the party?" She asks.

"Aye, love. If I'm welcome." He says, standing and walking towards her.

Emma gives him a curious look. "Course you are." She replies, pulling open the diner door.

She sees Henry sitting at a booth with her parents and Ruby, storybook open on the table. He's reading the story of her parents first meeting aloud to her brother. "This story again?" She teases. "Are you sure you want the first thing your son knows is that his parents fell in love during an armed robbery?"

"I wasn't armed!" Mary Margaret replies indignantly.

"That's not how we fell in love anyway. It's just how we met. It wasn't until I saw my mother's ring on her finger that I knew in my heart there was no other woman I would ever love." David says, smiling at his wife.

"You should've told me then. We would have saved so much time." his wife replies.

"I hardly could do that. I had to get to my wedding." David says with a smirk.

"Sorry?" Hook asks, confused. "Did I miss something? You were previously betrothed, mate?"

"To Kathryn. Although, she was princess Abigail back then." Ruby chimes in.

"King Midas' daughter?! The man who can turn anything into gold? Why would you leave that opportunity?" Hook asks incredulously.

Emma's elbow finds her way into his ribs just as her mother levels him with a look.

David just grins. "What can I say? My heart was destined for another."

"Yeah, you just had to find her first." Ruby laughs and turns toward Henry, knowing the details of this part aren't in the book. "She was living on a farm with the dwarves, trying to forget everything that had happened. She wasn't herself at all."

Mary Margaret laughs. "Oh, that seemed like such a peaceful idea at the time. Relatively alone on a farm without having to deal with Regina trying to kill me. Leaving everyone and everything behind."

Hook snorts. "Like mother, like daughter."

Emma's eyes narrow and she barely manages to bite out his name in a warning tone.

"What is he talking about?" Henry asks. "I found apartments here."

"It's nothing." Emma says not meeting any of their eyes. This is not where nor when she planned on telling them that they were leaving. She figured they could at least have this last happy party together.

"Why would we go back to New York?" Henry asks. "This is our home."

"Henry this is not the time or place." Emma says.

"Actually, Miss Swan, I think it is." Regina says, coming over to join them with Robin at her side.

"No. It's not." Emma says through gritted teeth before turning and exiting the diner.

The streets are deserted, nearly the entire town is gathered in the diner to celebrate the naming of her brother. She kicks at rocks and leaves with the toes of her boots, something she used to do as a child, as she walks away from the diner. There's no real destination in mind, but when she sees the bench in front of the lake, it seems as good of place as any to hide out.

Barely ten minutes pass before her phone starts ringing. It's her father. The one person who didn't give her a wounded puppy dog look when she made her exit, but she's still not willing to talk to him right now and hear his reasons for why they should stay here instead. She's so lost in her thoughts she doesn't hear the footsteps until he's next to her.

"You're making a mistake." He says.

"I don't want to talk to you about this." Emma debates on getting up and going elsewhere, but he'll only follow her. Here is a good of place as any to ignore him.

He sits on the bench beside her, reaching into his satchel. "Don't listen to me. Listen to your son. He thought this might remind you of what you're leaving behind - your family."

She grabs the book from his outstretched hand. "Henry is my family and I'm taking him where he is safe."

"And that's in New York? That wasn't real. This safety-first nonsense is just that, Swan. _You _defeated the bloody Wicked Witch. _You _defeated Pan. _You _broke the curse. And yet you keep running. What are you looking for?" He implores her, hanging his head.

"Home." She nearly whispers.

"And here isn't home? With your entire family?" He asks.

She flips open the book. "I don't see my family here. This is fairy tales. Princes and princesses. Not me. I'm not a part of any of this. I'm not a part of anything."

"You could be." He says gently.

"Look. When I was a kid, I ran away. It's just what I did. I did wonder if it was a mistake, if I would miss that place but I never did. Neal told me something once, that when you find a home and leave it, you just miss it. So I'm just going to keep running until I find that."

He shakes his head. "So you're just going to leave your parents then? Do you even care about them? About anyone in this town?"

"Of course I care. I just need to-what the hell is that?" She stops when the stream of fiery light shooting straight up into the sky catches her eye.

"I have no idea."

"I need to check this out." She says and takes off running toward the light. Her phone vibrates in her hand, indicating a voicemail from David. She listens to it as she heads toward the stream of light.

She stops in front of the barn, now complete with a gaping hole in the roof, streaming a tunnel of fiery light. She hears Hook come up behind her. "David said it's Zelena's portal. Somehow she died and managed to open it." She says, reaching for the door.

"Wait!" He yells, grabbing her arm. "Let's get out of here."

"Not until we find a way to close it." She demands.

"You got your magic back?" He asks.

"No." She admits.

"Well then we're not bloody messing with any of-" He's cut off as the force from the portal blows the old barn doors open, pulling them inside.

She's being dragged along the ground, dust flying up into her face, but that doesn't stop her from screaming and reaching out to grab ahold of anything that will stop her from being pulled through. Finally her fingers latch onto the cuff of his sleeve, her nails making crescent-moon shapes in the pliable leather as she holds on with all of her might.

They stop moving. Her legs are dangling in the portal but the top half of her body is still on the dirt ground of the old barn, hanging onto Hook's sleeve. He must have anchored them somehow. "Hold on." She hears him yell but the portal is stronger, as though it senses how close she is to falling in.

She feels the cuff of the leather begin to pull away from the rest of the sleeve and she knows there is nothing to stop her from falling through. Even over the roar of the portal she hears the ripping noise as the cuff tears cleanly free from the sleeve. "I can't!" She yells as she falls into the portal.

The portal swirls around her for a minute or two, all fiery reds and oranges before she feels it drop out from under her and she lands in an unceremonious heap on the hard ground. Just as she's about to roll over onto her back and catch her breath, she hears another thud. Pushing her hair out of her eyes, she looks over and finds that Hook has landed next to her.

He stands up first, helping her to her feet and taking in the surroundings. "Appears we're back in the Enchanted Forest. Only question is when."

"I have a pretty good idea." She mumbles and takes a step forward to inspect the poster on the tree. Below the bold text there is a sketch of her mother and further detail saying she is wanted for murder, treason and treachery.

She grabs the book that fell from his satchel when he landed and flips open to the story Henry was reading to her brother just a few minutes ago. "Why are you reading that?" He asks.

"Cause when we were falling through, I was thinking about Henry reading this story. Maybe that's where we are." She replies.

"Excellent deduction." He says, rocking on his heels and looking around. "So...any ideas on how to get back?"

She frowns at him. "How would I know how to get back. What do I look like? Marty McFly?"

"Marty McWho?" He splutters bewildered.

Sometimes she forgets he doesn't understand the cultural references and for a split second she has an overwhelming desire to kiss the confused look right off his face. _Where the hell did that come from? _She's startled from her thoughts when he reaches out and tugs her behind a tree, standing so close to her that she can feel him breathing.

"Black knights." He whispers in her ear.

They watch as the knights push back some of the villagers and finally Regina emerges from the carriage. The Evil Queen's voice is cold and clear as she informs them that they will suffer dearly if she finds out any of them know the whereabouts of Snow White and shows them a prisoner she has captured.

-\\-

Regina has left as quickly as she came and it appears the villagers have returned to their daily tasks, no longer forced to stand and endure the wrath of the queen. "We could find Rumplestiltskin." She says. "He can find a way to get the portal open again so we can go home-back, I mean."

He says nothing but merely raises an eyebrow at her initial choice of wording. "I'm not sure if the Crocodile is the most helpful choice but it is the best plan we have for now. Although, there is something we need to do first." He gestures toward some clothing on a line with his Hook. "I'm sorry Swan, but red leather jackets don't come into vogue here. Ever."

She glares coldly at him for a minute before snatching the clothing off the lines and disappearing behind a thicket of bushes to change. Lacing up a corset on her own is much more difficult than she ever imagined and she's immediately thankful for not living in this time period. She tries to take a deep breath and fails, the boning of the corset cutting into her ribs as she exhales. _A mirror would be really great right now_.

"Come on Swan." He calls, breaking her from her thoughts yet again.

She steps out from behind the bushes, tripping a little over the branches in shoes slightly too large. She half leaps half stumbles before him.

"Oh, well. That's much better." He says.

"Is this really necessary?" Emma asks, twisting to see if she can loosen the pressure the corset is putting on her sides.

"Yes. The point is to minimize you making a last impression." He says with a smile.

She twist again, finding some relief when her back arches. "Fine. The only lasting impression I'm concerned about right now is what this corset is trying to make on my speen."

He grins, eyes sweeping over her now ample cleavage before reaching her face. His blue eyes are nearly twinkling as he replies, "Your discomfort is a cross I'm willing to bear."

She rolls her eyes at his obvious appraisal of her but can't keep the corners of her mouth from turning upward. She finds herself rooted in place when he steps forward and uses both his hand and hook to lift up the hood of the cloak and tuck her hair inside. "You're not from a world of magic. I am. Even the smallest of changes could have catastrophic consequences. Things must happen as they always did."

He offers her his arm and she finds herself linking her own through his as they trudge through branches and underbrush toward the dirt road. She finds herself surprised when he stops and removes her arm to readjust his satchel over his shoulder.

They haven't made it far down the path when he stops and turns around. The stamping of horses hooves into the beaten down road can be heard not far off in the distance. His arm comes around her again, steering her back over to the underbrush. "It could be the Queen again."

She crouches down, peeking through some foliage as a carriage stops. "A fallen tree", she hears a knight call to whomever is in the carriage. The door opens and her father steps out. "Is that.." She whispers trailing off at the sight of him.

"Your father. We should go." Hook says softly, his fingers resting on her elbow again.

Emma doesn't move, instead she watches as her father comes up to the fallen tree on the path ahead and inspects it. "This tree was cut down. This is a trap!" He exclaims drawing his sword and Emma finds herself taking in a sharp gasp as her eyes scan upward in the trees. She sees her mother about six foot in the air, standing precariously on some branches.

Emma shifts to get a better look at her father and her foot crunches on some twigs. The noise is enough to startle her mother, who gets a quick enough glimpse that she is not alone before falling from the tree and taking off into the woods.

Once the carriage is far enough in the distance, Hook lead her back to the main road. Emma winces, looking up at him. "You know that thing about small changes having consequences? What about big changes?"

He turns to face her. "Why? What did we do?"

"That bandit was Snow White. This was the moment my parents first met."

Hook groans, ducking his head slightly. "And because of us, they didn't."


	30. Chapter 30: one of these days

chapter 30: one of these days

The sun has not yet started her descent across the skies when he quietly slips from his room at the Inn and walks down the steps. Over time he's learned which steps are the creakiest, the ones most likely to have the Widow Lucas peeking around the corner seeing who is leaving her Inn. He sometimes wonders if she ever sleeps. He's snuck down these steps at various hours of the night, always finding her sitting in her chair knitting.

He likes the town like this, deserted and quiet. His boots echo in the silence until he reaches the docks. Taking up residence on a bench, he stares out into the vast ocean, just sitting and watching until the sun makes her way across the sky. The inky sky gradually fades from midnight blue lightening up to a cornflower hue tinged with streaks of lavender. And then there is another color, a muted yellow that creeps above the horizon and the sun follows in its wake.

There's a chill in the air, winter still desperate to keep her clutches on this sleepy little town but the usual gray tinge to the skies has vanished, wispy white clouds in its place. He's sat at the docks long enough that upon returning to the Inn, he can see a flurry of movement within the diner. Yesterday he overheard Mary Margaret tell the Widow Lucas that they were to celebrate the naming of her new son, this realms adjusted version of a coronation. The pixie haired woman had also said everyone in town was invited, but he hesitated to believe he was included on that list.

He spends some time in his room, idly flipping through a book Ruby handed him once, telling him she thought he'd like it. He can hear the chatter from below, assuming the coronation party has started. Sneaking back down the steps, he wanders through the town trying to find something to occupy his time, only to realize Mary Margaret was quite clear in inviting the whole town. Every shop, including the Rabbit Hole, displayed a closed sign in their window. He gives up and slowly walks back to the diner, taking a seat on one of the metal chairs Granny keeps outside for patrons when the weather is nice.

He flips his flask over and over between his fingers. Once, the flask had texture but it had been worn smooth with centuries of use. His eyes dart upward when the gate to the diner creaks, finding Emma giving him an odd look. "Kinda cold out here. You coming in for the party?" She asks.

"Aye, love. If I'm welcome." He replies.

She gives him a curious look. "Course you are." She waits for him to stand before pulling open the door to the diner and slipping inside. She stops at the table where her parents are sitting, her new brother secured safely in her mother's arms. Henry is sitting at the booth as well, storybook open and he catches snippets of the tale. He thinks it is the story of when Emma's parents first met. She confirms his suspicions.

"I hardly could do that. I had to get to my wedding." David says with a smirk.

Hook shakes his head for a moment. _Had he just heard the Prince correctly? _"Sorry?" He asks, confused. "Did I miss something? You were previously betrothed, mate?"

The she-wolf offers a soft smile. "To Kathryn. Although, she was princess Abigail back then."

The words are out before he can stop them. "King Midas' daughter?! The man who can turn anything into gold? Why would you leave that opportunity?" He shifts slightly as Emma's elbow finds his ribs and attempts to offer Mary Margaret a look of apology.

Yeah, you just had to find her first." Ruby laughs and turns toward Henry, knowing the details of this part aren't in the book. "She was living on a farm with the dwarves, trying to forget everything that had happened. She wasn't herself at all."

Mary Margaret laughs. "Oh, that seemed like such a peaceful idea at the time. Relatively alone on a farm without having to deal with Regina trying to kill me. Leaving everyone and everything behind."

He speaks again without thinking. "Like mother, like daughter."

"Hook." Emma warns, her tone low and part of him thinks he should feel ashamed for announcing it to her family this way but he doesn't know when, nor if, Emma will even tell them or just steal off in the middle of the night and given everything that's happened, they deserve to know what their daughter is planning.

"It's nothing." Emma says not meeting any of their eyes.

"Why would we go back to New York?" Henry asks. "This is our home."

"Henry this is not the time or place." Emma says to her son.

"Actually, Miss Swan, I think it is." Regina says, coming over to join them with Robin at her side.

"No. It's not." Emma says through gritted teeth before turning and exiting the diner.

He sighs. He should have just kept his mouth shut and allowed her to enjoy the coronation party instead of causing her to run off like this. "I'll talk to her." He says.

" Wait, take this." Henry hands the storybook to him. "It might help her remember where she belongs."

It doesn't take long for him to find her. The trail of bootprints in the dirt indicate she likely stomped her way over to the lake. She's sitting on a bench with her back to him. "You're making a mistake." He says by way of greeting.

"I don't want to talk to you about this." She replies.

Undeterred by her lack of enthusiasm at his presence, he sits down on the bench next to her. "Don't listen to me. Listen to your son. He thought this might remind you of what you're leaving behind - your family." He holds out the storybook.

She grabs the book from him. "Henry is my family and I'm taking him where he is safe."

"And that's in New York? That wasn't real. This safety-first nonsense is just that, Swan. _You _defeated the bloody Wicked Witch. _You _defeated Pan. _You _broke the curse. And yet you keep running. What are you looking for?" He implores her, hanging his head. He doesn't know what it's going to take to get through to this bloody, stubborn woman.

"Home." She nearly whispers.

"And here isn't home? With your entire family?" He asks.

He watches as she flips the book open. "I don't see my family here. This is fairy tales. Princes and princesses. Not me. I'm not a part of any of this. I'm not a part of anything."

"You could be." He says gently.

"Look. When I was a kid, I ran away. It's just what I did. I did wonder if it was a mistake, if I would miss that place but I never did. Neal told me something once, that when you find a home and leave it, you just miss it. So I'm just going to keep running until I find that."

He shakes his head. "So you're just going to leave your parents then? Do you even care about them? About anyone in this town?" He curses himself internally at the way his voice breaks when he asks.

"Of course I care. I just need to-what the hell is that?"

He turns to follow her gaze, finding a stream of fiery light shooting into the sky. "I have no idea."

"I need to check this out." She says and takes off running toward the light. He barely has time to shove the book back in his satchel before taking off after her.

He finds her standing in front of the barn where they defeated Zelena just the other day. "David said it's Zelena's portal. Somehow she died and managed to open it." She says, reaching for the door.

"Wait!" He yells, grabbing her arm. "Let's get out of here."

"Not until we find a way to close it." She demands.

"You got your magic back?" He asks.

"No." She admits.

"Well then we're not bloody messing with any of-" He's cut off as the force from the portal blows the old barn doors open, pulling them inside.

The force knocks them both to the ground, dragging them along with the intent of sucking them into the vortex. He ignores the pain as he bumps along the ground, hand and hook reaching out to find her. He cannot lose her. Finally he feels her fingers grasp the cuff of his jacket. He tries to reach for her hand, giving her something more solid to hold on to, but they're too close and if he doesn't stop them from now, they're going to be sucked in. His hook finally catches in the ground behind them, but they're close to the edge. Emma's legs are dangling in the portal and despite knowing it will do no good he yells for her to hang on.

And then he feels it, the rip of leather indicating his cuff is pulling away from the sleeve. His fingers flail, trying to find her but it's too late. She's dropped into the portal. He can't let her go alone. With a sigh he mutters "One of these days I'm going to stop chasing this woman" and releases his hook from its grasp on the dirt floor, the portal swirling and sucking him in as well.

Even before he opens his eyes, he smells the scent of moss on the hard ground which he has landed. Getting to his knees he finds that she has landed next to him and is starting to get up. He offers her his hand, dropping it and stepping back to survey their whereabouts as soon as she is steady on her feet. "Appears we're back in the Enchanted Forest. Only question is when."

"I have a pretty good idea." She says and he follows her gaze to a Wanted poster tacked to the nearest tree. A sketch of her mother's face rests below the bold claim saying she is wanted for murder, treason and treachery.

He starts when Emma moves closer, pulling the book from his satchel. "Why are you reading that?" He asks.

"Cause when we were falling through, I was thinking about Henry reading this story. Maybe that's where we are." She replies.

"Excellent deduction." He says, rocking on his heels and looking around. "So...any ideas on how to get back?"

She frowns at him. "How would I know how to get back? What do I look like? Marty McFly?"

"Marty McWho?" He asks confused.

She's starting to explain but he doesn't understand a word of what she's saying. The sound of horses draws his attention away. Black knights are approaching. He reaches out and spins her around, hiding her behind the tree and following suit. They're standing so close he can smell the sweet scent of her perfume. "Black knights." he whispers in her ear.

They watch as the knights push back some of the villagers and finally Regina emerges from the carriage. The Evil Queen's voice is cold and clear as she informs them that they will suffer dearly if she finds out any of them know the whereabouts of Snow White and shows them a prisoner she has captured.

-\\-

Regina has left as quickly as she came and it appears the villagers have returned to their daily tasks, no longer forced to stand and endure the wrath of the queen. "We could find Rumplestiltskin." She says. "He can find a way to get the portal open again so we can go home-back, I mean."

He says nothing but merely raises an eyebrow at her initial choice of wording. "I'm not sure if the Crocodile is the most helpful choice but it is the best plan we have for now. Although, there is something we need to do first." He gestures toward some clothing on a line with his Hook. "I'm sorry Swan, but red leather jackets don't come into vogue here. Ever."

Her cold glare is enough to make him wonder if she'll actually switch into something more common for their location. Finally she grabs a handful of clothes and disappears behind some brush. He wonders if she's ever laced a corset on her own. He nearly calls out to her to offer his assistance but quickly realizes she likely wouldn't think he was just trying to be helpful. A few more moments pass and he's getting impatient.

"Come on Swan." He calls.

He hears twigs break as she half stumbles half jumps out from where she had changed. He can't stop the grin from spreading across his face. "Oh, well. That's much better." He says.

"Is this really necessary?" Emma asks, twisting from side to side. He assumes she's trying to loosen the corset but it has him swallowing hard, watching as her breasts heave with each twist. He finds her tightly fitting shirts and trousers of her land rather attractive but there is nothing like seeing her in a dress from the world he knows best.

"Yes. The point is to minimize you making a last impression." He says, smile growing larger.

She twist again then arches her back. "Fine. The only lasting impression I'm concerned about right now is what this corset is trying to make on my speen."

He grins, trying not to leer at her but he can't remain silent. "Your discomfort is a cross I'm willing to bear." He says with a quirked eyebrow.

The roll of her eyes he is expecting, but the small smile she offers him, he most definitely is not. He finds himself stepping towards her, pulling the brown hood of her cloak over her head and smoothing it out. "You're not from a world of magic. I am. Even the smallest of changes could have catastrophic consequences. Things must happen as they always did."

They haven't walked long down the dirt path when he hears the sounds of horses again. His arm comes around her again, steering her back over to the underbrush. "It could be the Queen again."

He's trying to ignore the proximity in which they're crouched next to each other and failing. She's pulled her hair forward over her shoulders to mask the obvious display of cleavage the corset has provided. He doesn't even notice the door of the carriage opening or who exits until she asks. He turns back toward the road and sees her father.

"Your father. We should go." Hook says softly, his fingers resting on her elbow again, but she doesn't move.

He listens as her father inspects the fallen tree. "This tree was cut down. This is a trap!" He's quick to draw his sword, eyes darting right over them as he screens the forest for a potential robber. He winces when Emma's foot snaps a twig beneath it, the crunch of the bark rather loud in the otherwise silent forest. He notices someone scurrying deeper into the forest but thinks nothing of it. Once Charming has returned to the carriage and the coast is clear, he leads her back out onto the road.

"You know that thing about small changes having consequences? What about big changes?"

He turns to face her. "Why? What did we do?"

"That bandit was Snow White. This was the moment my parents first met."

Hook groans, ducking his head slightly. "And because of us, they didn't."


	31. Chapter 31: flirting with captain hook

chapter 31: flirting with captain hook

They head further down the dirt road until it curves off sharply to the right. Ahead there is a opening of the trees, showing a large castle with many red flags up on a hilltop. "Look ahead, Swan. The Dark One's castle."

She sighs. "A little more imposing than the pawn shop. So, what do we do now? Just walk on up and knock on the door and say we're from the future?"

Hook winces. "It might be best if I stay back. The Dark One and I have a rather complicated past. I'd wager he'd want to kill me on sight."

"Oh! I'll take that bet!" A high voice cackles.

Emma spins around to find Rumple standing there in all his Dark One glory. His skin is scaly and cracked in some places with a greenish gold tint that glitters in the pale sunlight. His fingernails are long and pointy, nearly black with dirt. Had Rumple not so strongly wanted to kill Hook, she could almost find this encounter hilarious.

"I can't tell you how long I've been looking forward to this. Oops. I suppose I just did." The Dark One cackles gleefully before twisting his hand to magically choke Hook.

"Swan." Hook croaks.

"Stop!" Emma cries out.

"I don't know who you are, dearie, but you best run along and let me enjoy my killing in peace." Rumple says.

"You have to listen to me." She says.

"And why, would I, listen to you?" He asks dramatically.

Emma thinks quickly. "Because if you don't, you'll never see your son again."

His scaly body twists towards hers, a curious look on his face as he stops strangling Hook. "What do you know of my son?"

Emma takes a deep breath. "His name is Balefire. You're planning to enact a curse in hopes of reuniting with him."

"Who told you that?" The Dark One demands.

"I'm the one who breaks the curse so that you can find him. I'm the product of true love."

"That's speculation." He argues. "Part of my plans. I haven't done it yet."

"You will, and you will succeed."

"If that's true then that means-" Rumple says figuring it all out.

"We're from the future, mate." Hook says.

"But time travel hasn't been done yet, mate." Rumple sneers.

"Yeah well, someone's cracked that code. We need your help." Emma explains.

"Help?" The Dark One giggles. "Then answer me one question: do I find my son?"

Emma hesitates before answering him, not sure of how much she can say without it having any further effect on their futures. Belle had told her that after they were all transported back to the Enchanted Forest she and Neal had set off to Rumple's castle, believing that he wasn't actually dead. For weeks they searched through books and through Rumple's possessions at the castle, trying to find some way to bring him back. Finally, one night she found something in a book stating that they could try to bring him back. Belle's memories became hazy after that, only remembering that she accompanied Neal there, but nothing more. Right after that she woke up in the pawn shop in Storybrooke. There had been no sightings of Neal and she could only assume for some reason he didn't come back over with the last curse.

In a sense, it bothers her that Henry will never get to spend time with his father, but there are no guarantees that Neal would have even managed to hang around that long. Sure he said he was going to, but that was when he was still planning to get married. But there was something extremely cathartic about saying goodbye to him when Regina cast the curse that lead them to New York. It provided the closure she didn't even know that she was looking for. Those twelve years of her life were finally in the past and she felt free. She had even managed to begin to move on with Killian and was just starting to wonder if she could see a future with him, when Henry had showed up and this new chapter of her life began.

"Yes." She says finally.

The Dark One's eyes light up. "Bae." He says almost wistfully. "I find Bae. How?"

Emma opens her mouth to speak, but he cuts her off with a tutting sound. "No, if I succeeded I don't need anything in my head that might get throw it off."

Emma frowns. "It might already be kinda thrown off."

The Dark One's eyes narrow at her. "You've changed things. What did you do?"

"We interrupted my parents meeting." She says.

The Dark One sighs loudly before walking off in the other direction. She's just about to call out to him, to yell at him for not helping them, when he turns around impatiently and gestures with his arm. "Come along now you two."

He leads them to his castle, throwing open the doors of the great room with a flourish. "Now tell me who your parents are."

"Snow White and Prince Charming." Emma replies immediately.

"Prince Charming?" Rumplestiltskin snorts.

"His real name is Prince James."

"Ah. King George's son, whose wedding I've just arranged?" Rumple asks.

"See, that's what I'm trying to tell you. That marriage isn't supposed to happen because the ring he was going to give her gets stolen by Snow and that's the part that we interrupted." Emma says, moving to grab the storybook from Hook's satchel.

Rumple flips through the book appearing unimpressed until it comes about a series of blank pages. "It's supposed to be there!" Emma exclaims.

"The Ripple Effect. Once you change something in the past, anything from that point forward becomes uncertain. The future, as you see, is a blank page." Rumple explains.

Emma groans. "We need to get Snow to steal that ring, to get their story back on track."

The Dark One gets up and retrieves a white orb. Waving his hand over it, it shows Snow White sitting at a table in a tavern across from Blackbeard. She hands him a pouch of money, which the pirate examines before tossing it back at her and walking away.

"She can't escape without the money she gets for the ring. Can you help us?" Emma asks Rumplestiltskin.

"I can work on getting your portal open again, but getting your parents back together? No, that is something you messed up and you need to fix. However, there is a ball tonight at King Midas' castle. Snow can steal the ring from there." Rumple replies.

She opens her mouth to argue that they can't just waltz into a ball uninvited and that they have no way to even get to her mother to let her know where the ring is, when Hook presses his finger to her lips then drops it around her waist and escorts her from the Dark One's castle.

Once they've begun down another dirt road, he explains. "We're heading to the tavern where your mother was. I happen to know of a captain who might help us."

"Who?" Emma asks confused.

Hook grins. "Me."

-\\-

His fingers press lightly into the small of her back as they enter the tavern from the alley entrance. Wordless he gestures towards a small table in the back corner of the tavern as his eyes take in the room. Once seated, he points over to his right with his hook. "Ah, there I am. Rather dashing, don't you think?"

Emma barely resists rolling her eyes. "Is this even a good idea? What about preserving the future?"

Hook turns back to view his past self. "It will be fine. Given what I'm drinking, if I were to remember anything, I'll blame it on the rum. Just make sure that I - _he - _remains occupied. Doesn't return to my ship. I'll take care of the rest."

Emma sighs and pulls off her hood, running her fingers through her hair and tossing some of the waves back over her shoulder to expose the corset-enhanced cleavage. Glancing down she realizes it's probably not enough to catch the eye of the captain currently sitting with a woman on each side. She unlaces the front of the gown, further exposing her chest.

"What-what're you doing?" Hook stutters, eyes wide as he takes in her acts.

She smirks. "Making sure he stays occupied. Shouldn't be difficult. You and I both know I'm his type."

Hook steps in front of her before she can head over to his past self. "Swan, that man sitting there…" he pauses for a second as though unpleasant memories are in the forefront of his mind. "You don't know him. Just be careful."

She wants to roll her eyes. Sure he might be a pirate captain right now, but that's just what he was when she first met him (well, after the knife to his throat and threat to feed him to the ogres got him to tell the truth) and if she wasn't afraid of him then, she surely wasn't afraid of him now. She smirks at Hook again. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you're jealous."

He frowns at her, eyes darting between her face and exposed cleavage before shaking his head and stalking off through the door which they entered.

She plasters a smile on her face and with a deliberate swing of her hips, saunters over to where Hook is playing a game of dice. Bracing her hands on the table in front of him and leaning down to make sure he gets more than an eyeful of her cleavage she asks "what are you boys playing?"

His lips part and his eyes widen as they trail up from her waist to meet her eyes. He says nothing at first until she cocks an eyebrow at him, then he's hastily telling his crew to find another table to play dice. The woman on his left protests at his dismissal but a cold look from the captain sends her quietly headed in the other direction. With her eyes never leaving his, Emma walks around the table and sits on the bench next to him, her back against the wall.

The rum slides easily down her throat. "I have a confession to make."

The captain smiles. "Most women do."

She lifts his hook with her hand, raising it up between them and running her fingers suggestively over the curve. Her eyelashes flutter and she offers him a coy look before speaking. "I want to know how you got the hook. You hear sooo many stories."

He scoots in closer to her. "Mmhmm." He nearly purrs. "You know who I am and here you haven't even told me your name."

"What fun would that be?" She teases, pouring them both another shot of rum.

"Just two ships passing in the night then?" He asks, leaning even further into her.

She smiles coyly. "Passing closely, I hope."

"Speaking of ships; what do you say we leave this place and I'll show you mine." His eyebrows waggle suggestively as he starts to stand.

"Wait." She presses her hand to his thigh to push him back down again. "How about we have a few drinks first?"

Three shots (that she's tossed over her shoulder) later, she's pretty sure that Captain Hook is not going to remember a damn thing tomorrow no matter what happens. He's sitting incredibly close to her, trapping her between him and the wall but she finds she has no desire to move at all.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're trying to get me drunk, which is usually my tactic." His voice is rough and low, words slightly slurred.

Emma leans forward far enough to capture his attention with her chest, pouring him another shot. "What's wrong captain? Can't handle your rum?"

He stands up, a bit wobbly. "No, not only can I hold it," he picks up the bottle of rum between them, "but I can carry it right out the door. What do you say we set sail? Come back with me for a nightcap?" He holds out his hook and she briefly wonders if he'd actually be okay if she allowed herself to grasp it to pull herself up. She finds her eyes roaming over his body but he takes her silence as disinterest. "Or shall I find someone else."

She starts at his waist, taking in the low slung strap of leather holding the sword to his hip and slowly raises her eyes to take in the ornate brass buttons on his red vest to the ridiculous display of chest hair he has going on. The necklace with the charms, the same one he still wears dangles from his neck, landing just above the first clasp he's managed to affix. Her eyes reach the hollow of his throat, watching as his adam's apple appears. The sharp jawline covered in the same amount of stubble as he current possesses, leads way to the apples of his cheeks, one with a faint scar. Her eyes drop slightly as he pulls in his bottom lip with his teeth. She meets his eyes, glassy and brighter than usual from all of the rum but still the same shade of forgetmenot blue. The same shade as the version of Hook who accompanied her on this trip to the past, but also the same shade as her Killian from Boston.

She stood and followed him out of the tavern. If he noticed her silence, he didn't find it offputting. They walked side by side to his ship and the closer they got to the docks, the faster her mind began to race.

She was tired of denying it. Since the kiss in Neverland she had been fighting this attraction to him. _But he's not Killian. He's Captain Hook, a ruthless man dead set on revenge against Rumplestiltskin, who just so happens to look just like Killian _she thought. _Is he really so ruthless anymore? _The voice in the back of her head asked. _He never doubts you. He offered his ship to help you find Henry. He came to find you after this curse. How do you even know that if you return to New York or even Boston that you'll find the guy you left behind. It's been over a year, who says he is even still there? Or still wants you? Maybe he's moved on. Fine! But I can't just go have a one night stand this past version of Hook! _

She needs to stall. She pretends to stumble. "Oh! I think I should rest for a moment." She makes to sit on one of the barrels nearby.

"Oh no need!" Hook says with a grin before quickly swooping her up into his arms. "I've carried rum barrels heaving than you."

Out of the corner of her eye she sees her mother walking past them on the docks. "Actually, I feel much better." She says, hoping he'll allow her to walk on her own again.

No such luck. He carries her a few more feet before stopping and boldly declaring his ship to her. "Behold! The Rolly Joger!"

"Captain.." Smee starts, catching him off guard enough that Emma can disengage from his arms. "How did...I thought you were still below deck. And how does your vest keep changing?"

_Oh shit. He's still down there. _Emma grabs the necklace swinging from his neck and steps down backward onto the ship. "I seem to remember a night cap was promised." She leans in just enough for him to think they're going to kiss before backing away again. "Find one and I'll be waiting." She grins before climbing down the ladder to the captain's cabin.

Stepping on the floor of the cabin, she turns and finds the current version of Hook behind her. "What are you doing here?"

He frowns. "I could ask the same of you! I thought I told you to keep him occupied."

"I am." She says not willing to elaborate.

He doesn't bother to mask the hurt look that crosses his face. "By taking him back to my ship?"

"_His _ship." Emma reminds him.

"You know what I mean."

"I stalled as long as I could," she explains. "I thought you'd be gone by now. I'll try to keep him above deck so you can get out of here." She moves to climb back up the ladder but the boots of past Hook are already on their way down.

She spins around looking at Hook in fear. With a slight shake of his head he slips backward into the shadows of the cabin. She turns around to greet the past Hook who has made his way down the ladder now. "Hey."

"Where may you be going? I do hope you're not having second thoughts." He says, the roll of the waves and the copious amount of rum exaggerating his swayed steps toward her.

_For such a ruthless and dreaded captain, this is the second time he's given you a way out_ the voice in the back of her head reminds her. "No," she says smiling at him and reaching for the lapels of his coat. "I just got tired of waiting."

His eyes sparkle briefly at her response before he crashes his lips into hers. She kisses him back, keeping her eyes open and allowing them to turn in a half circle so she can see if Hook has made his way back up the ladder yet. He's frozen in spot, watching his past self kiss her.

She breaks the kiss, making sure to keep her hold his jacket so he doesn't turn around and find his future self in the room. "Apologies. A woman as beautiful as you deserves my full and prompt attention." He says slowly walking her backward to the large wooden table in the center of the room.

She's trying to figure out how to get out of this one. Granted she only kissed the future version of him a few times, but kissing the past version just doesn't feel right. Her mind is whirling with how far to let this go (perhaps there is something heavy on the desk she can knock him out with) when he's being pulled from her and spun around.

Before there's any time to react, Hook is punching his past self, the drunken captain falling to the floor of the cabin with a heavy thud.

"Are you kidding me?" She exclaims to Hook. "How is _that_ not going to have consequences?"

He looks ashamed for all of a second before responding. "He was asking for it. And like I said, he'll blame it on the rum. Now let's get out of here." He motions for her to go up the ladder ahead of him, not taking any chances his former self could reawaken quickly.


	32. Chapter 32: the past comes back to haunt

chapter 32: the past comes back to haunt us

When they come to the sharp curve in the road, he stops and points to the castle in the distance. "Look ahead, Swan. The Dark One's castle."

She sighs. "A little more imposing than the pawn shop. So, what do we do now? Just walk on up and knock on the door and say we're from the future?"

He winces. "It might be best if I stay back. The Dark One and I have a rather complicated past. I'd wager he'd want to kill me on sight."

"Oh! I'll take that bet!" A high voice cackles.

He turns to find the Dark One has appeared before him. The sight of him, the greenish gold glittery skin nearly startles him, something he hasn't seen in many years.

"I can't tell you how long I've been looking forward to this. Oops. I suppose I just did." The Dark One cackles gleefully before twisting his hand and Hook feels the magical pressure around his neck.

"Swan." he croaks, unsure as to whether he means it as a warning for her to run or that he just wants her name to be the last word that grazes his lips.

"Stop!" Emma yells.

"I don't know who you are, dearie, but you best run along and let me enjoy my killing in peace." Rumple says.

"You have to listen to me." She argues.

"And _why_, would _I_, listen to _you_?" He asks dramatically.

"Because if you don't, you'll never see your son again." She states, a defiant look in her eyes.

The Dark One freezes momentarily, releasing his magical hold on Hook's neck."What do you know of my son?"

Hook stumbles backward, hand coming up to rub his neck. Emma watches him out of the corner of her eye, making sure he is okay before she tells the Dark One the story he is so desperate to hear. "His name is Balefire. You're planning to enact a curse in hopes of reuniting with him."

"Who told you that?" The Dark One demands.

"I'm the one who breaks the curse so that you can find him. I'm the product of true love." She says carefully. Hook is surprised at how easily she admitted that. _Perhaps she is coming around_ he thinks.

"That's speculation." The Dark one argues with Emma. "Part of my plans. I haven't done it yet."

"You will, and you will succeed."

"If that's true then that means-" Rumple says figuring it all out.

"We're from the future, mate." Hook says.

"But time travel hasn't been done yet, mate." Rumple sneers back at him.

"Yeah well, someone's cracked that code. We need your help." Emma explains.

"Help?" The Dark One giggles. "Then answer me one question: do I find my son?"

He watches as a flurry of emotions cross Emma's face. Finally she speaks. "Yes."

The Dark One's eyes light up. "Bae." He says almost wistfully. "I find Bae. How?"

Emma opens her mouth to speak, but he cuts her off with a tutting sound. "No, if I succeeded I don't need anything in my head that might get throw it off."

Emma frowns. "It might already be kinda thrown off."

The Dark One's eyes narrow at her. "You've changed things. What did you do?"

"We interrupted my parents meeting." She says.

Rumplestiltskin sighs loudly before heading in the other direction. He's trying to figure out how to gently tell Emma that they need to come up with a new plan to return back to Storybrooke, that the Dark One won't help them, when the imp stops and gestures for them to follow him.

Entering the great hall of the Dark One's castle is not something Killian thought he'd ever see in his lifetime. He expected a hovel, filth and magical fragments cluttering the space, but its large and almost airy. He wonders if this is the doing of the lass with the brown hair, the help the Dark One has for his castle.

Killian remains silent as Emma tells Rumplestiltskin who her parents are and explains that David's wedding is not supposed to take place and that they need to get Snow White to steal the ring, but they don't know where she is. The Dark One crosses the room and retrieves a white orb, waving his scaly hand over it and Snow White appears in the orb. She's sitting across the table from another captain he knows rather well, Blackbeard. He watches as Snow hands the captain a pouch of gold. Blackbeard looks inside before tossing it back at her and getting up from the table.

Hook quickly comes up with a plan. He listens as Rumple tells Emma they will need to be the ones to get her parents back on track as they were the ones to messed it up, letting her know that there will be a ball tonight at King Midas' castle and Snow White can steal the right from there. He says he'll work on opening the portal and dismisses them. He watches as the questions fly through her head and her mouth opens, but he presses a finger to her lips.

Once they're back on the main road heading away from the Dark One's castle, he speaks. "We're heading to the tavern where your mother was. I know of a captain who might help us."

Emma looks at him confused. "Who?"

A grin spreads across his face. "Me."

-\\-

The enter the tavern from the alley door, not wanting to be noticed by too many of the people inside, should his former self still be lurking about. He gestures for Emma to take a seat at the well worn wooden table in the corner of the tavern. He stands, searching through the crowd until he finds his past self. A blonde on his right, a brunette on his left and a bottle of rum in front of him. How he spent many a night just like this one, usually not remembering all the events of the evening as he drank shot after shot of rum, trying to chase away the memories Liam.

He turns back to Emma then points in the general direction of his past self. "Ah, there I am. Rather dashing, don't you think?"

"Is this even a good idea? What about preserving the future?" She asks.

He's thought about that, but he knows what this time in his life was like. Consuming nearly a bottle of rum a night to chase away the demons. He doubts if he walked right up to his past self and clapped him on the shoulder that there'd be a memory of it in the morning. And any strange occurrences that did happen were all too easy to blame on the rum.

"It will be fine. Given what I'm drinking, if I were to remember anything, I'll blame it on the rum. Just make sure that I - _he - _remains occupied. Doesn't return to my ship. I'll take care of the rest." He says and turns back to face her, heart nearly stopping. She's pulled down the hood, golden hair glittering even through the dim sunlight filtering into the bar, but more shocking is the way her fingers are deftly flying over the laces of her dress, revealing much more of her cleavage than necessary. "What-what're you doing?" He splutters.

She offers him a sardonic smile. "Making sure he stays occupied. Shouldn't be difficult. You and I both know I'm his type."

He stands, stopping her from exiting the table so quickly. She doesn't understand that the past version of him sitting at the other end of the tavern was at his lowest point. "Swan, that man sitting there…" he pauses, wondering how much he should tell her. "You don't know him. Just be careful."

She rolls her eyes at him, not taking his warning seriously. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you're jealous."

His mouth gapes open, eyes flitting from her face to her exposed chest but no words come out. If he's being honest, there is a twinge of jealousy that she is so willing to spend her time occupying this version of himself when he feels like he needs to force her into spending any time with him (this adventure aside) but more importantly he's worried that she is not heeding his warning and thinks this version of himself is just like he is now. Compared to the ruthless man rolling the loaded dice in his hands a few feet away, he's practically a puppy dog now.

He just shakes his head at her before turning and exiting the same way they came in.

He tries to appear unaffected when he sees the Jolly at the docks but his heart is pounding. He never expected to see her again. With a shake of his head to clear any emotions he steps on board, greeting Mr. Smee, then points to a woman lurking about in a cloak. "Bring that woman on board and do it quietly."

He climbs down into his cabin, sitting on the wooden bench in the shadows. Its only a moment later before Snow makes her way down the ladder. "Who are you?" She asks.

"Doesn't matter. I'm a captain and I can help you."

Snow regards him carefully. "So what do you want?"

He grins. "It's not what I want. It's what I can offer. I hear that you seek passage out of the Enchanted Forest."

"That's true," Snow concedes. "But I haven't enough money."

"I don't give a damn about money. It's treasure I want. I think you can get it for me. He unrolls her wanted poster, holding it forward just enough to make sure she can see it. "Snow White. You're a thief aren't you?"

He lingers on the ship only a moment after Snow White climbs back up the ladder. He's about the make his own climb up to the deck when he hears footsteps crossing the deck and the swish of a woman's skirt. Before he can react, Emma has come down the steps.

She nearly jumps in surprise when she sees him. "What are you doing here?" She hisses.

"I could ask the same of you. I told you to keep him occupied." He splutters back at her.

"I am." She replies.

His stomach drops at the thought that she could have planned to entertain his past self in the captain's cabin. "By taking him back to my ship?"

"His ship." She reminds him.

"You know what I mean." It really isn't his ship anymore but after centuries of owning her, breaking old habits are hard.

"I stalled as long as I could. I thought you'd be gone by now. I'll try to keep him above deck so you can escape." She says, moving towards the ladder but familiar black boots are already making their descent.

Emma turns to him, panic flashing in her eyes, but he merely steps back into the shadowed corner of the cabin. His past self sways from more than just the roll of the ship and he wonders how much she had him drink. When she leans forward and grabs the lapels of his past self his heart clenches. Some part of him believes it's just a diversionary tactic but seeing her with a man so unworthy of her makes his heart hurt. He manages to skirt around the edges of the cabin and make it to the steps.

But when his past self advances on Emma, walking her backward toward the table, something in him snaps. The past version of himself was too stupid to know that a woman like Emma was not one you take over a table. She deserved so much more than that. Before he can fully think the plan through, he's grabbing his past self by the shoulders and punching him right in the face. He drops to the floor.

"Are you kidding me?" Emma exclaims. "How is that not going to have consequences?"

He flexes his fingers to ward off the stiffness. He punched much harder than necessary. "He was asking for it. And like I said, he'll blame it on the rum. Come on, let's get out of here." He gestures for her to go up the ladder ahead of him, not willing to take any chances that his past self might reawaken quickly and see her leaving.


	33. Chapter 33: princess leia

chapter 33: princess leia

It was easy to convince her mother to steal the ring from the ball he tells her on their walk to Midas' castle. Snow White didn't question his lack of financial requests or even why he wanted a wedding ring to begin with. The conversation stalls out after that and they continue to walk in silence. Emma can sense that he wants to ask her why she went along with his past self to the Jolly Roger but for as long as he's not asking the words aloud, she's keeping her reasons to herself.

They're on a mission now, to make sure mother gets that ring and meets her father. Emma's newly realized feelings can wait for a more appropriate and convenient time.

He stops at a clearing nearly a mile from the castle made of gold. Even under the fall of night, the gold gleams from the light of the stars, reflecting off the water in front of it. When he sits, she follows suit and waits for him report back after looking through his spyglass. "A predictable access of pomp and circumstance. Snow should have no trouble getting inside."

"What about us? We're supposed to just sit here and hope she pulls it off? I don't like leaving things to chance."

The air crackles with magic before his high voice reaches them. "You know, I feel exactly the same way, which is why I never do." He flicks his wrist and an ivory linen square appears in his hand. "See, an invitation."

Despite the distance, Emma can see the flowery calligraphy inviting someone to the ball at the castle. "So you'll be inside watching her?"

"No, no no. I'll be far too busy sorting out how you'll get home." Rumple replies.

"Well who is the invitation for?" Hook asks.

"Well isn't it obvious? The two of you." He replies and then waves his hand over them both.

In a scene fitting for Cinderella, Emma feels herself being magically lifted up and spun around in a cloud of hazy smoke. By the tightness around her waist and the weight hanging off her hips she knows he's changed their clothing. When the smoke clears she glances down and finds herself in a fitted candy-apple red gown, scallop-laced sweetheart neckline and full length sleeves. She can feel the satin of the slippers on her feet. Offering a sideways glance to Hook, she sees that he's been transformed into wearing a brown coat and pants. The white shirt he's now wearing reveals the same amount of chest hair as his usual pirate garb. She almost laughs that the Dark One didn't button up his shirt. "The savior can't come this far and not play princess for a day." The Dark One says, cutting into her thoughts.

"But I'm not supposed to stick out. What if someone remembers me in the future?" She asks.

Another wave of his hand produces a mirror. "Allow me. A glamour spell." He holds up the mirror to show them their new faces. "This is how you shall appear to one and all. Now, run along and do everything you can to make sure Snow White gets that ring. Once they're back on track, everything else will be too."

The Dark One vanished in a cloud of smoke, but not before snapping his fingers and producing a horse-drawn carriage to take them to the ball. Hook exits first, taking her hand as she steps out of the carriage. It's only then she notices the Dark One has provided him with a prosthetic hand as well. Hook nods to the footman who draws the carriage way and they follow in line of all the guests entering the ball. Hook hands the invitation to a valet gathering them on a silver platter.

"Just when I thought the clothes couldn't get any worse." Emma mutters holding her body completely stiff to see if it will allow for more breathing room.

He winks at her. "You might not be able to move, Swan, but you cut quite the figure in that dress." He eyes her appreciatively.

She allows herself to smile at his comment. King Midas steps before them. "Greetings, I'm King Midas, father of the bride. Who do I have the honor to welcome into my home?"

_Shit. She got so caught up in the fancy red dress and horse drawn carriage and the thought that they were going to get her parents back on track that they never thought to come up with a story or even names for the people they were pretending to be. _

"I'm...Prince…" Hook stutters, clearly as caught off guard as Emma is.

"Charles." She offers the king a warm smile. "Prince Charles. And I'm Princess...Leia." She feels Hook bend to bow and immediately dips into a curtsey, hoping the length of the dress will make up for her less than polished attempt.

King Midas has them announced and they slowly make their way into the ballroom. She turns to Hook, placing her hand on his arm but not meeting his eyes. "Mary Margaret and David are always going on about this ball and that ball - what's the big deal about these things?"

She comes to a sudden stop as the crowd in front of them parts and her eyes land on couples dancing with elegance and poise that she forgets to breathe for a moment. She can almost hear the laughter in Hook's voice.

"You were saying?" He takes her hand, leading her toward the dancers.

"What am I supposed to do?" She asks, panicking for a moment.

"Blend in." He says with a smile, stopping just before the other dancing couples.

"Wait. Are you saying you know how to do whatever this is?" She asks, shocked.

He steps forward, lifting her hand onto his shoulder and taking her other hand into his prosthetic one, his good hand coming to rest on her waist. "It's called a waltz. There's only one rule: Pick a partner who knows what he's doing."

And before she can respond, to tell him that she has no idea how to slow dance let alone waltz, they're dancing. She matches each of his steps with her own almost as though she is doing it from memory and not for the very first time. They're merely a few inches apart and the smile on his face is infectious. She allows herself to get caught up in it all; the twirl of her gown, the gentle press of his fingers against her waist, the pleasant melody of the music and the way he is smiling at her like she's just presented him with the largest chest of treasure.

They turn and when she's facing him again there is a hint of a smirk on his lips. "Watch the mocking. I'm actually getting a hang of this." She says, but there's no anger in her voice.

"I'm not mocking you Swan. I'm just thinking about what you said in Storybrooke, about not being a princess."

She frowns slightly at him. "Really? You get my first real dance at my first royal ball and all you can say is I told you so?"

Hook shakes his head slightly. "I believe what I'm trying to say, your highness," he pauses to bow briefly, "is that you appear to be a natural."

She offers him a small smile in response. Something catches her eye. "Hey, there's Charming."

A few moments later, they're interrupted from dancing when Regina enters the ballroom, black knights in tow. When she notices her father has also disappeared from the ballroom, she squeezes Hook's hand and gestures to an exit just to their right.

They step outside just in time to see Snow White climbing over the wall of the castle. "She did it! She must have stolen the ring." Emma says proudly.

From above, her father leans out the window and yells to Snow. "You can't hide from me. Wherever you are, I will find you!"

A wide grin breaks out on her face. It was the motto of her parents and she was present to hear him say it to her for the first time. A black knight pushes past them, arm drawn to fire an arrow at Snow. Without even thinking Emma surges forward, knocking into the knight and causing the arrow to veer off to the left of its intended target. As she moves to get back up, the glint of a gemstone catches her eye. Her mother had dropped the ring. Grabbing it, she holds it up to Hook.

"You've got to get that to Snow. Go! I've got this." He says, pulling his sword from his hip at the approaching knights.

She sprints back into the ballroom, heading toward the exit when the knight she knocked into comes bursting in, pointing at her. "She helped the bandit escape."

Regina and her guard descend on her faster than she could have imagined. She struggles against the hold of the guards, but neither are budging. "Going somewhere?" Regina sneers.

"You're not going anywhere. Snow White may have left the party early, but I suspect your night has just begun. Take her away."

-\\-

Rope is tied around her wrists and ankles and she's shoved unceremoniously into a carriage. The ride to Regina's castle is bumpy, only made worse by the fact that she's sitting on the floor of the carriage and not the padded seats. Two guards glare down at her, daring her to protest to the seating arrangements. She grits her teeth and tries not to think of how many bruises she's going to go home with.

The guards take her around to back entrance of the castle and drop her off in a small, empty room. A old woman appears, eyeing her quickly before exiting the room and returning a moment later with an oatmeal colored dress. She didn't speak, simply snapped her fingers indicating Emma should turn around.

Knobby fingers undid the hooks and laces on the back of the dress and her corset. Despite the circumstances she heaved a sigh of relief at being able to fully breathe again. The woman stepped back and held out her arms. Emma quickly undressed and stepped into the oatmeal colored dress she was offered. The old woman opened the door and gestured for Emma to go ahead of her.

She found herself walking through the kitchens and old habits of years in foster care caused her to sweep her arms out, snatching rolls from passing carts with both hands and shoving them into the wide sleeves of her dress. Once through the kitchen, she's handed off to another guard who leads her down the dark path to the dungeons. With a shove, she's stumbling into the rocky floor of the cell. The door creaks closed behind her, the loud clang of the lock catching in place.

The woman in the cell next to hers speaks. "Are you alright?"

"I think so." Emma replies, sitting down on the rocky floor. "Thanks. I'm Leia."

"I wish I could say it was nice to meet you." The woman replies.

"Yeah, but under the circumstances. I get it. What's your name?" She asks.

"I dare not speak it in here. The Queen doesn't know who I am. It is the only thing keeping my family safe."

Emma scoots back against the wall of the cell, twisting the ring over and over again between her fingers. She was surprised to find the guards nor the old woman who provided her with a new dress didn't even look at the jewelry on her. She still had another ring and necklace that came with the transformation from Rumplestiltskin.

"Being away from family, it's a terrible terrible thing." Her cell mate says.

"Yeah it is." Emma agrees.

"The longer I'm separated from them, the pain, it doesn't dull. It worsens. Maybe because I know I'll never see them again."

The words pierce Emma's heart, ringing truer than she could have imagined. Is this what her parents felt like when they had to put her in the portal? Or when she needed to leave them again after Pan's curse? There's nothing she wants more than to see them again, back in their time.

"If my mom was here, she'd tell me to have hope. Maybe you should too. Who knows, maybe you'll end up with them again." Emma says, trying to remain positive.

"I don't think so. I'm fairly certain they already think I'm dead." The woman replies.

A silver piece of wire glints off the spoon at the edge of her cell, catching Emma's eye. "Maybe not. Give me your spoon." Emma says, untwisting the wire, an idea forming in her mind.

She hands over the spoon. "What are you doing?"

"It's all about the tumblers." Emma mutters to herself twisting the wire into the lock, thinking back to a time where Neal had showed her how to do just this. She hoped the mechanisms of the lock hadn't changed very much in the hundreds of years she traveled back in time. Craning her ear toward the lock she listened as the wires clicked into place and the lock came undone.

She quickly undoes the lock on the woman's cell, not willing to leave someone behind to be executed if she could help it and tries to quietly slip down the hall. She knows they'll need to pass at least one guard on their way out and she doesn't have a plan yet other than to punch him and run, but her lack of a plan doesn't matter when she turns around a corner and comes face to face with Hook and her father, swords drawn.

"Swan?" he says incredulously.

"Hook." She smiles, impressed he has come to rescue her.

"What the hell are you doing? You're depriving me of a dashing rescue." He says.

She nearly snorts. "Sorry, the only one who saves me is me. Speaking of which, I'm not gonna be around much longer unless we find where this belongs." She twists the ring off her finger.

"I think that belongs to me." Charming says, motioning for them to exit.

"You guys have a way out of here?" She asks.

"Follow me. Snow told me where to meet her." Ruby says, turning to lead the way.

They turn right down dimly lit hallway and follow Ruby up a narrow staircase, coming out of what Emma can only assume is a secret passage, seeing as the statue on the wall swings back into place once they're all into the castle again. They're on the second or third floor, Emma can tell that much but she has no idea why they're going up instead of heading outside to the ground level. Hook heads over to a broken window to look out over the courtyard.

"What is it? Did you find Snow?" She asks, coming up next to him.

"I"m afraid so." He says. Her mother is tied to a post in the courtyard, burlap sack secured over her head. Regina stands fifty feet away, fireballs already forming in her palms.

"We have to get down there before it's too late." Emma says.

"I don't think we can." Charming replies.

The fireball in Regina's hand grows larger. "No." Emma hears herself saying. Vaguely she feels Hook's arms wrapping around her, pulling her against his chest as she watches the fireball leave the queen's hands and hurtle through the air right towards her mother. She wants to look away but finds she can't move her head. Her legs buckle slightly at the sight of her mother's form engulfed in flames and Hook's arms tighten, keeping her upright.

"We need to go." Red says quietly, her voice broken.

Emma doesn't remember how they got out of the castle or past the guards stationed at sporadic intervals at the entrance of the forest. She feels like she's wandering about in a fog, not really here nor there. Hook's arm stays around her waist, guiding her out of the castle and into the horse drawn cart they have waiting. Charming offers to drive this time. She vaguely notices Hook shoot him an appreciative glance. He climbs into the back of the cart with her, sitting her down and taking the place next to her. His arm goes back around her waist, tucking her into his side. A rut in the road bounces them around, her head bumping into his shoulder. The effort to move it is too much, so she allows her head to rest there, tears still running down her cheeks.

They drive a few miles down the path leading away from the queen's castle and turn off onto a less traveled path. Charming stopped the cart at a clearing and rekindled the fire. Emma feels herself drop onto a log in front of it, Hook sitting down beside her.

"After my brother passed, all I could do was relive that terrible moment. Don't do that to yourself, love. All we can do in times like these is live in the here and now." Hook says trying to comfort her.

Emma's brow furrows. "Here and now." She says slowly, letting the words sink in. "I'm still here. How's that possible? We saw her die. Which means I should have never been born."

"You should have faded from existence." Hook replies catching on.

"Exactly. So then she must still be alive." She can't stop the smile that breaks through her tears. _Have hope_ reverberates through her mind.

"We should head back towards Regina's castle." Hook says, swatting at a ladybug buzzing around his head. "Cursed vermin." He mutters. The lady bug buzzes around some more before coming to land on Emma's sleeve. "Stay still love."

"Wait! Is that a bug?" Charming says, running over to them. "Snow told me about a dust that she was going to use on the queen. A dust that would turn her into something easily squashed. Like a bug."

Emma looks at her father doubtfully. "You think Snow turned herself into that?"

Charming nods. "If she timed it right, it could have happened. We just need to figure out how to turn her back to herself."

Emma leans in, listening to the buzzing sounds coming from the ladybug crawling over her father's gloved fingers. "I think she's saying something."

"Wonderful." Hook retorts with a roll of his eyes. "Anyone fluent in bug?"

"She's calling for me." A voice says, causing them all to turn in that direction. The blue fairy hovered a few feet above them.

"Can you turn her back?" Ruby asks.

"Dark magic did this to her. Light magic will fix it." Blue says with a wave of her wand and Emma steps back as a bright light emerges into a human form in front of her. When the light fades and it's just her mother standing there, Emma completely forgets that Snow White has no idea who she is and throws her arms around the other woman, pulling her in for a tight hug.

"You're alive." Emma is nearly crying again with happiness.

"Oh." Snow flinches a bit in her arms. "It appears so. Thank you."

Emma releases her, trying not to start crying all over again because her mother had no idea who she was. It wasn't as though she really expected her to have any memory (that could really wreak havoc on the future) of her, but she was disappointed to find the warmth she always found from her was not there. She turns away as her mother hugs Ruby hard.

Hook steps forward, bending his knuckle to wipe away at the tears still staining her cheeks. It's so unlike him, Emma doesn't move at all when he does it, instead offering him a small smile. "Looks like we're back on track, love."

They're too far from Snow or Ruby's hideouts so they decide to make camp in the clearing. Snow hastily forms makeshift beds using the underbrush from the forest. Ruby heads out into the woods and comes back with two dead rabbits and a handful of berries for them. Her cellmate helps her father cook the rabbit.

She barely remembers eating, her eyes beginning to flutter close from the emotional toll of the day. "Come on, love. You should get some sleep." Hook says, offering her his hand.

She takes it stands, allowing him to lead her over to the beds Snow has fastened. They don't look terribly comfortable and she is already beginning to feel the bruises from her ride to the queens' castle begin to form but there's nothing that can be done about it. Hook shrugs out of his coat, laying it down on the makeshift bed. "Perhaps this will provide some comfort." He says.

"No. I can't take your coat." Emma protests.

He shakes his head slightly. "I'm not going to take it back, love. Now please lay down before you fall asleep standing up."

She mutters something unintelligible at him before dragging another makeshift bed closer to hers and picks up his jacket, laying it horizontally across the two beds. She turns back to face Hook, who is staring at her in wonder. "If I get a pillow, you get a pillow. No arguments."

He smiles. "As the princess wishes."

She lays down, tucking one arm under the coat to create a pillow. She hears his soft footsteps as he walks around her to the bed she has pulled close to hers. There's a slight tug on the coat when he rests his head upon it and she thinks she hears him whisper something but sleep has taken over quickly.

She wakes from the hoot of an owl in the middle of the night. She sits up slowly, taking in her surroundings. The fire has died down quite a bit, only flickering embers remain. Her father is standing guard, his back to her against a tree. Ruby is to her left, followed by her mother and then her cellmate. Hook is next to her, lying on his side, a few locks of his hair falling into his face. She studies him for a moment, realizing how he looks even more like the Killian she knew in Boston in the soft light of the fire, his features softened in sleep.

She lays back down, trying to fall back asleep but the makeshift bed provides no warmth from the cold night. Shivering, she turns on her side, facing Hook and tucks her arms under the coat, trying to gather some warmth. She's nearly drifted off again when she feels the coat being gently lifted off her hands and placed over her body. Her eyes flutter open, finding Hook kneeling above her.

"I can hear you shivering." He whispers.

"But aren't you cold?" She whispers back, still unwilling to trade his discomfort for her comfort.

He shakes his head. "Go back to sleep, love. We have a long day ahead of us."

She closes her eyes again, snuggling down further into the warmth of the coat. It smells like rum and the sea and she doesn't know how it's possible seeing as it isn't even his regular coat, but the smell is comforting enough all the same that she quickly drifts back to sleep.

She awakes the next morning and immediately returns his coat, her cheeks flaming at the thought that he must have spent the rest of the night shivering as she laid there warm. She sees her parents talking, her father handing over a canteen to her mother.

Nearly a half hour passes and she's beginning to wonder if anything between her parents is even going to happen or if everything has been for naught when Charming asks them if they've seen Snow, saying she went to the stream to fill their canteens. He stops mid-sentence, reaching into his pocket and realizing the ring has been stolen from him again.

"There's only one way to get to the harbor from here and that's the troll bridge." Charming says before taking off in that direction.

"Oh no." Emma looks at Hook with wide eyes before starting to take off after her father.

"Swan, wait." Hook says reaching out and grabbing her arm. "The bridge. Isn't that where you want them to be? Isn't that where Snow saved him from the trolls?"

"Yeah but the only reason she was able to do that is because she had the dust. The dust she used on Regina. Come on, they're going to need help."

Hook rolls his eyes. "Oh bloody hell."

-\\-

By the time they arrive at the bridge, the fight is over. Her parents must have found some way to avoid being caught by the trolls. Hook pulls her into the forest behind some bushes as her parents approach.

"So, you'll probably want this." Charming says, handing her back her pouch of Gold.

"Right, the gold." Snow says slowly. "And um, you can't get married without this." She hands over the pouch with his mother's ring.

Charming pulls the ring from the pouch, holding it up in front of Snow. "I know, not your style, right?"

Snow pauses for a moment before snatching the ring from his fingers. "Only one way to find out." She says, pushing the ring onto her left hand and holding it up to examine in.

After a few seconds she clears her throat. "Yeah, not me at all. I'm sure your fiance will love it." Snow takes off the ring and hands it back to Charming, oblivious to the way he is looking at her.

Emma smiles, her eyes filling up with tears at the encounter between her parents. "It's okay Swan," Hook says. "Not everyone gets the chance to watch their parents fall in love."

"Well, wherever you are going, be careful. If you need anything-" Charming starts.

"You'll find me." Snow finishes.

Charming nods, picking up Snow's bundle of possessions. "Always."

"I almost believe that." Snow says with a small smile, turning and walking slowly away from him.

"They're heading away from each other." Hook says, panic filling his voice.

A few tears slip down Emma's cheek. "No, it's okay. That's how it happened the first time. It took my parents a long time to accept their feelings for each other."

"Must run in the family." Hook mutters and Emma ducks her head to avoid his gaze. She pulls the storybook from his satchel and flips open to where the story of her parents should be. The pages have filled themselves in again.

"Look, we did it."


	34. Chapter 34: dancing with (and rescuing)

chapter 34: dancing with (and rescuing) his princess

He tells her that the meeting with Snow White went well. Clearly Snow White is so determined to get away from the Enchanted Forest, she didn't even question what a pirate would want with a wedding ring and tells him that she'll steal the ring from the ball tonight.

They stop to rest in a clearing near Midas' castle. "We're just supposed to sit here and hope she pulls it off? I don't like leaving things to chance." Emma says.

The air crackles behind them with the unmistakable feeling of magic. "You know," the Dark One says, "I feel exactly the same way, which is why I never do." He flicks his wrist and an ivory, linen square appears in his hand. "See, an invitation."

"So you'll be inside to watch out for her?" Emma asks.

Rumplestiltskin giggles. "No. No, I'll be far too busy sorting out how to get you home."

"Well who is the invitation for?" Hook asks.

"Well isn't it obvious? The two of you." He replies and then waves his hand over them both.

A misty smoke swirls around them both and before Hook can reach out to grab for Emma to make sure she is okay, the smoke disappears leaving her standing before him, in a crimson red ball gown. Her hair and makeup have been styled and jewelry adorns her. _She looks absolutely stunning_ he manages to think before looking down at his own attire. His coat is brown with a crisp white shirt underneath, his usual amount of buttons undone. Brown trousers are on his legs, nearly black boots cover his feet. But more importantly, his hook has been replaced with a prosthetic hand, both covered in black gloves.

"The savior can't come this far and not play princess for a day." The Dark One says, almost gleefully.

"But I'm not supposed to stick out. What if someone remembers me in the future?" She asks and he finds it to be a really good question. Surely there is no way anyone will forget the stunning blonde in the crimson red gown. He's sure this image of her will play in his mind for quite some time to come.

Another wave of his hand produces a mirror. "Allow me. A glamour spell." He holds up the mirror to show them their new faces. "This is how you shall appear to one and all. Now, run along and do everything you can to make sure Snow White gets that ring. Once they're back on track, everything else will be too."

The Dark One vanishes in a cloud of smoke, but not before snapping his fingers and producing a horse-drawn carriage to take them to the ball.

The carriage stops in the semi-circle path leading to the entrance of the castle. The footman opens the door and Hook steps out first, taking her hand in his to help her out of the carriage. With a nod to the footman to take away the carriage, he places her hand on his arm and they follow the crowd of people into the castle. A valet is taking the invitations and he drops theirs on the silver platter.

"Just when I thought the clothes couldn't get any worse." She mutters, walking in stiff steps.

He can't help but wink at her. She looks absolutely stunning in the ball gown. "You might not be able to move, Swan, but you cut quite the figure in that dress." When she offers him a small smile, he allows his eyes to roam over her appreciatively.

King Midas comes up to them. "Greetings, I'm King Midas, father of the bride. Who do I have the honor to welcome into my home?"

_Bloody hell _he thinks. He'd been so caught up in how she looked in the dress and how comfortable she's been around him for their entire trip so far that he didn't even realize they'd need to use different names.

"I'm…" he starts, scrambling to come up with a name. "Prince…" _Think, Killian, think!_

"Charles." She finishes for him. "And I'm Princess...Leia."

He barely remembers to bow before the king but is impressed at how quickly she drops into a curtsey when she feels him move. The King merely welcomes them to his home and tells a valet to announce them, moving onto the next couple standing behind them.

"Mary Margaret and David are always going on about this ball and that ball - what's the big deal about these things?" She says, turning her head towards him and he can't keep the grin off his face.

The crowd in front of them parts and he stops, waiting for her to look forward and see the couples dancing. When she does, he hears her intake of breathe as she stares at them in awe. "You were saying?" he teases before taking her hand and leading her closer to the dancing couples.

"What am I supposed to do?" She asks nearly breathless. He can tell just how awestruck she is since there is no hint of panic in her voice and by how she allows him to pull her closer to the dancefloor.

"Blend in." he says, bringing them to the edge of the dance floor.

"Wait, you know how to do whatever this is?" She asks surprised.

He almost reminds her that before he was a pirate, he was in the Navy and dancing at balls was just another requirement of navy life. "It's called a waltz." He says instead, taking one of her hands and placing it on his shoulder, fitting her other hand into his prosthetic one. He steps closer, placing his good hand on her waist. "There's only one rule: Pick a partner who knows what he's doing."

He begins to dance, unable to keep the grin off his face. He never thought this would happen; Emma in his arms in a ballgown fit for no less than a princess, twirling around to the music. Her eyes meet his and he feels her relax in his arms, her feet seemingly knowing exactly what to do. She smiles back at him and it takes every ounce of strength he has not to kiss her right there. Kissing a princess of the dancefloor of a ball is definitely something only a pirate would do and he can't himself from smirking, wondering briefly if she'd even allow it.

Luckily she cannot read his mind and mistakes the smirk for something else. "Watch the mocking. I'm actually getting a hang of this."

"I'm not mocking you Swan. I'm just thinking about what you said in Storybrooke, about not being a princess."

She frowns slightly at him. "Really? You get my first real dance at my first royal ball and all you can say is I told you so?"

Hook shakes his head. "I believe what I'm trying to say, your highness," he pauses to bow briefly, "is that you appear to be a natural."

She offers him a small smile in response. "Hey, there's Charming."

He's beginning to wonder how long he can make this last, having her in his arms and letting her experience what her life would have been like. The crowds part as another guest appears and her body stiffen. He steps closer, his immediate instinct to protect her. Regina has come to the ball with her black knights in tow.

'Where's Charming?" she whispers, dropping her hand from his shoulder and quickly exiting the ballroom. They step outside just in time to see Snow White descending down the castle wall.

"She must have stolen the ring." Emma says almost breathlessly.

" "You can't hide from me. Wherever you are, I will find you!" Her father calls from an open window on the floor above them. Hook can feel her shiver at the words.

A black knight with an arrow drawn pushes past them, knocking Emma into him briefly before she's stepping forward and shoving the knight. Even from this distance he can see the arrow misses its target. When Emma turns to face him again, a small ring with a glittering green gemstone is in the center. "You've got to get that to Snow. Go! I've got this." He says, pulling his sword from his hip at the approaching knights.

He makes quick work of the knights, not fighting to kill them but simply to knock them out long enough that he can get away and Emma can get her ring back to Snow. When they've all fallen he returns his sword to his hip and slides back into the ballroom, just in time to see two of Regina's black knights holding Emma between them.

He winces, knowing there is nothing he can do for her to get away without making a huge scene that would be likely remembered. The guards pull her out of the ballroom and he can only hope that she doesn't do anything stupid before he can get there and save her.

He hangs around the ball, wandering from conversation to conversation hoping to hear something useful about Snow White or to confirm that the Evil Queen has taken Emma to her castle. He overhears Charming saying that he's heading out first time tomorrow morning to the forest to see if he can find the bandit who stole his mother's ring.

-\\-

Killian follows Charming, keeping a safe distance between them and watches as the Prince sets up an elaborate trap hidden carefully under the brush of the forest. He has no idea if Snow White is even still in the area or if Charming will be lucky enough to catch her, but this is the best option he has right now.

Nearly an hour later, Snow comes trudging through the forest and is immediately swept up into the trap Charming has created. Her shriek sends Charming strolling out into the open.

"I told you I'd find you. No matter what you do I will always find you." The prince says smirking.

Snow glares at him from above in the net. "Is this the only way you can catch a woman? By entrapping her?"

Charming laughs heartily. "It's the only way to catch thieving scum."

"Aren't you a real Prince charming."

The prince shrugs. "I have a name you know."

Snow offers him an unamused look. "Don't care. Charming suits you. Now cut me down, Charming."

"Why would I do that?" Charming asks. "All I want is the ring you stole."

"Not the jewelry type." She mutters.

"Indeed. I noticed." The prince bites back.

"I don't have your ring." She argues.

"Then why don't I believe you?" The prince asks.

And that's his cue. Hook steps out from behind some trees. "You should. She's telling the truth mate."

Charming and Snow both spin around to look at him. He bows. "Prince Charles. Lovely ball the other night. The mutton was a tad overcooked, but that happens. Snow White doesn't have your ring. But I can tell you who does. My princess. And I need your help to get her back."

"She has my ring?" Charming asks incredulous. "That's two women who have robbed me. Where is she?"

Hook frowns. "Well, thats the problem. The Queen's castle."

"Actually," Snow White chimes in, "That's not a problem at all. I know it well. It used to be mine. I can get us there, but not from up here. So you let me down and you get your princess" she gestures to Hook, "and you get your ring back." She finishes looking at Charming. "And I never have to see your charming face again."

The prince considers it for a moment before pulling his sword free and slicing through the ropes holding Snow White in the net. She lands in an undignified heap, grunting as she makes contact with the ground. Charming just smiles at her.

Hook joins the pair as they begin to head down the road. "Wait. You can't just walk right up to the Queen's castle with your face plastered on every tree." He says to Snow.

She nods. "I'm aware. There's a merchant not far up ahead. He owes me a favor. We're going to take his cart."

-\\-

With Snow hidden in the back of the cart and Charming keeping an eye on her, Hook drives the cart to the outskirts of the castle grounds. "We're here."

"We're going to need help getting past the guards. Wait here. We go at night. I'll be back with help." Snow says, running into the forest.

"Did we just let her escape?" Charming asks.

"I don't believe so. I think she's a woman of her word and she'll return at nightfall." Hook replies, hoping that he is right.

They pass the remaining hours wandering around in the forest, returning to where they had left the cart just before nightfall. Charming had gathered some branches and they quickly make a fire waiting for the sun to drop below the trees.

"You excited for your nuptials?" Hook asks the prince.

"I'm marrying Midas' daughter. What's not to be excited about." Charming replies in a dull voice.

"I don't mean to pry mate, but you don't exactly look like a man who is doing this by choice." Hook continues.

The prince raises an eyebrow. "I always thought I'd marry for love." He shakes his head as to dispel the notion. "And here I am about to enter into what amounts as a business transaction. A merger of two kingdoms. I don't know, this whole ordeal makes me wonder if there's even a such thing as true love."

Hook is taken aback by the prince's words. In the short time he's spent with Charming and his wife in Storybrooke and even in Neverland they were both so full of unwavering hope and faith that everything would turn out just as it should; with the heroes winning.

"I once felt as you did, mate." Hook confesses. "All it took was meeting the right person and everything changed."

"Princess Leia? The one we're rescuing?" Charming asks.

He smiles. "Aye. I'd go to the end of the world for her. Or time." He says wistfully.

"And she for you, I take it?" Charming asks.

Hook snorts, shaking his head. "I don't know." He answers truthfully. She hadn't allowed him to drown but that wasn't exactly a declaration of love.

"What's the problem?" The prince asks.

"There are many complications."

Charming nods as though he understands. "Family? Because my father is making things quite difficult for me."

"Aye, there's that. I'm not sure her parents approve." Hook confesses, wondering if he should be telling her father this.

Charming gives him a look. "Given the lengths you've gone to save her, they'd be crazy not to."

Hook smiles and mutters "I sure hope you remember that, mate."

Something to their left rustles in the woods. "What was that?" Charming asks, standing up and extracting his sword.

Hook does the same. "I believe we're about to find out."

A brunette in a blood red cloak comes into focus, walking right toward both men with swords ready looking as though she has not a care in the world.

"Who the hell are you?" Charming asks.

"Name is Red. I'm a friend of Snow's. She sent me to help you get into the Queen's castle." She says.

"How?"

She starts walking toward the castle, motioning for them to come along. "You'll see."

When they get past the guards that parole the perimeter of the woods and are nearly a hundred feet from the entrance to the dungeons, Red stops walking. "I'm a werewolf." She says as though she's inviting them to tea. "This cloak allows me to change back into my human form. I'm going to take it off and I'll deal with the guards inside the castle. You need to follow me and then once it's clear, place the cloak back over me. After we rescue Leia, I know where to find Snow." At the baffled look of both men, she continues. "I have both of your scents. I won't hurt either of you, even without the cloak."

Hook exchanges a glance with Charming. It's not as though they have any better of a plan.

Red quickly takes down the guards and Hook drapes the cloak over her, returning her to human form. "Someone's coming." She says as soon as she stands up.

He gets to his sword first, but much to his surprise its Emma and another woman coming around the corner. "Swan?" He asks as though he's simply envisioning her.

"Hook." She replies with a soft smile.

"What the hell are you doing? You're depriving me of a dashing rescue."

Her smile widens. "Sorry, the only one who saves me is me. Speaking of which, I'm not gonna be around much longer unless we find where this belongs." She twists the ring off her finger.

"I think that belongs to me." Charming says, motioning for them to exit.

"You guys have a way out of here?" She asks.

"Follow me. Snow told me where to meet her." Ruby says, turning to lead the way.

They turn right down dimly lit hallway and follow Ruby up a narrow staircase exiting out of a secret passage hidden by a statue on the wall to the second floor of the castle. He has a gut feeling to walk over to the broken window in the hall but as soon as he makes out the images outside he wishes he hadn't.

"What is it? Did you find Snow?" She asks, coming up next to him.

"I"m afraid so." He says. Snow White is tied to a post in the courtyard, burlap sack secured over her head. Regina stands fifty feet away, fireballs already forming in her palms.

"We have to get down there before it's too late." Emma says.

"I don't think we can." Charming replies.

The fireball in Regina's hand grows larger. "No." Emma whispers. He's had more than enough people die right in front of his eyes and knows the lasting effects that can leave on someone. He doesn't want her to watch this but he knows any attempts to lead her from the window will be in vain, so he does the only thing he can do; provide support. His arm wraps around her waist, pulling her into him until her cheek rests against his chest just under his chin. As the fireball hurtles towards Snow he feels Emma lose her footing and wraps his other arm around her, keeping her upright.

"We need to go." Red says quietly, her voice broken.

He keeps his arm around her waist as they make their silent escape from the Evil Queen's castle. He nearly expects her to shrug him off but finds the one time he pulls away slightly she moves even closer to him. When they arrive at the cart hidden in the woods, Charming takes one look at them and promptly offers to drive. Shooting the prince an appreciative glance, he helps Emma into the cart and sits next to her, putting his arm back around her waist. She curls into him almost immediately.

When they arrive back at the campfire, he sits her down on the same log where he had that amusing conversation with her father only hours before. Tears still roll down her cheeks and she's not bothering to wipe them away. He nearly doesn't speak, knowing when he was in her position he didn't care what anyone else had to say. Their words wouldn't bring back the dead and provided no comfort to him. "After my brother passed, all I could do was relive that terrible moment. Don't do that to yourself, love. All we can do in times like these is live in the here and now." He says finally.

Emma's brow furrows. "Here and now." She repeats slowly. "I'm still here. How's that possible? We saw her die. Which means I should have never been born."

"You should have faded from existence." Hook catches on.

"Exactly. So then she must still be alive." Despite her tears the smile that now shines on her face is like the warmth of the sun.

"We should head back towards Regina's castle." Hook says, swatting at a ladybug buzzing around his head. "Cursed vermin." He mutters. The lady bug buzzes around some more before coming to land on Emma's sleeve. "Stay still love."

"Wait! Is that a bug?" Charming says, running over to them. "Snow told me about a dust that she was going to use on the queen. A dust that would turn her into something easily squashed. Like a bug."

"You think Snow turned herself into that?" Emma questions doubtfully.

Charming nods. "If she timed it right, it could have happened. We just need to figure out how to turn her back to herself."

Emma leans in closer to the ladybug climbing over Charming's gloved fingers. "I think she's saying something."

Although one version of him is from a land with magic, some things will never cease to amuse him. "Wonderful." He retorts with an eye roll. "Anyone fluent in bug?"

"She's calling for me." A voice says, causing them all to turn in that direction. The blue fairy hovers a few feet above them.

"Can you turn her back?" Ruby asks.

"Dark magic did this to her. Light magic will fix it." Blue says with a wave of her wand and a white light engulfs the ladybug before turning her into a human form and fading. Snow is yet again standing before them. He has to admit, he's impressed. He has no idea how the bandit managed to toss the dust on herself at just the right time to avoid the Evil Queen's fireball, but he's surely glad she did it. Emma steps forward and hugs her, missing that the other woman is shocked by the sudden display of affection from someone she doesn't even know.

Hook steps forward, bending his knuckle to wipe away at the tears still staining her cheeks. "Looks like we're back on track, love."

Charming had mentioned to him on the way into the castle that they might need to camp here for the evening, which seems to be the case. He watches in fascination as Snow fastens together beds from the brush found in the forest. Red informs them she's going out to find food and he starts to suggest that he'll come with her but she waves him off, pulling the cloak off her head and saying it's easier to hunt alone.

After hugging her mother, Emma returned to sit on the same log as before. He looks over and sees the exhaustion in her eyes and form, shoulders hunched forward. "Come on, love. You should get some sleep." He offers her his hand.

It's not too cold yet but the temperatures will drop as the night grows on. The thin prisoners smock will not keep her warm. He shrugs off the coat and lays it down on the makeshift bed closest to them. "Perhaps this will provide some comfort." He says.

"No. I can't take your coat." she protests.

He shakes his head slightly. "I'm not going to take it back, love. Now please lay down before you fall asleep standing up."

She mutters something he can't understand and then pulls another makeshift bed closer to the first one. She lifts his coat and turns it horizontally across the top of both beds. "If I get a pillow, you get a pillow. No arguments."

He's touched that she cares enough for his comfort but knows as much as he wants to be a gentleman, there is no arguing with his stubborn princess. With a grin, he replies. "As the princess wishes."

Red offers to take the first watch. Charming volunteers for second and Hook says he'll take the third. Snow comments that she's usually up right before the sun so taking the early morning watch is fine with her. Quietly he walks over to the makeshift bed Emma has pulled next to her own and lies down next to her. "Good night my princess." he whispers even though her breathing has already evened out.

He awakes a few hours later, feeling her shivering. It's nearly time for him to take over watch so he sits up and pulls his coat gently from under her arms and lays it on top of her. Her eyes flutter open. "I can hear you shivering."

"But aren't you cold?" She whispers back.

He shakes his head. "Go back to sleep, love. We have a long day ahead of us."

At this hour the forest is almost completely silent, save for the owl hooting ever so often in the distance. With his back pressed against a tree, he allows his thoughts to wander. He glances over at her, curled up in a ball with his coat draped over her and tucked under her head to make a pillow and smiles. He doesn't know where this little trip back to the past is going to lead them but his heart feels lighter at how receptive she's been of him recently. He wants to believe it's more than just the fact that he's the only one who really knows her here, but she guards her emotions so carefully it is hard to tell.

A few hours later Snow taps on his shoulder to let him know she'll take the watch. He doesn't bother to go back to sleep, but lies back down on his makeshift bed. Emma has turned over and is facing him, blonde hair falling into her eyes. The desire to reach out and tuck it behind her ear, as well as scooting closer and pulling her into his arms is nearly overwhelming but he doesn't want to break whatever is between them, so he just watches as the sun slowly creeps her way over the horizon.

Emma is last to wake and blushes furiously as she hands him back his coat. He debates on teasing her but merely presses his tongue to the roof of his mouth instead.

Charming approaches them asking if they have seen Snow, telling them that she said she would fill his canteen. His hand clutches at his pocket as he realizes she has stolen the ring again. "There's only one way to get to the harbor from here and that's the troll bridge." Charming says before taking off in that direction.

"Oh no." Emma looks at him with wide eyes before starting to take off after her father.

"Swan, wait." He says reaching out and grabbing her arm. "The bridge. Isn't that where you want them to be? Isn't that where Snow saved him from the trolls?"

"Yeah but the only reason she was able to do that is because she had the dust. The dust she used on Regina. Come on, they're going to need help."

He doesn't even need her to finish her sentence before he realizes that once again they're going to need to step in and make sure that this fairy tale story rights itself properly. "Oh bloody hell."

-\\-

The fight is over by the time they reach the troll bridge. Snow and Charming appear to be heading towards them so he leads Emma off the main path and into the bushes where they can see her parents.

"So, you'll probably want this." Charming says, handing her back her pouch of Gold.

"Right, the gold." Snow says slowly. "And um, you can't get married without this." She hands over the pouch with his mother's ring.

Charming pulls the ring from the pouch, holding it up in front of Snow. "I know, not your style, right?"

Snow pauses for a moment before snatching the ring from his fingers. "Only one way to find out." She says, pushing the ring onto her left hand and holding it up to examine in.

After a few seconds she clears her throat. "Yeah, not me at all. I'm sure your fiance will love it." Snow takes off the ring and hands it back to Charming, oblivious to the way he is looking at her.

He glances over at Emma, finding her eyes glassy with unshed tears. "It's okay Swan," He says softly. "Not everyone gets the chance to watch their parents fall in love."

"Well, wherever you are going, be careful. If you need anything-" Charming starts.

"You'll find me." Snow finishes.

Charming nods, picking up Snow's bundle of possessions. "Always."

"I almost believe that." Snow says with a small smile, turning and walking slowly away from him.

"They're heading away from each other." He whispers panicked.

She offers him a shy smile. "No, it's okay. That's how it happened the first time. It took my parents a long time to accept their feelings for each other."

The opening is too great not to comment. "Must run in the family."

He remains still as she leans over and pulls the storybook from his satchel. "Look, we did it!"


	35. Chapter 35: you traded your ship for me?

**Sorry for the delay. I got it into my head that you all were going to hate how I ended this so I kept trying to re-write the last couple of chapters, but nothing that I wrote worked out as well as my original ones. Maybe there will be some one-shots added onto this for future tales of Killian and Emma. **

* * *

chapter 35: you traded your ship for me?

Knowing Regina has found out her prisoners had escaped by now, they didn't dare take the main roads back to the Dark One's castle. Instead they trudged through the forest, following nearly overgrown trails from the time before the road had become widely used.

It took a few hours longer than if they would have followed the road, but both were okay with the extra delay knowing it wouldn't be much longer until they were back in their own time again.

"We did it!" Emma announced letting herself into the great hall of the Dark One castle.

"Your parents are together?" He asks.

"They're right back on track. We're ready to go. So how's the portal coming? Can you open it?" Emma asks impatiently.

"I cannot."

"Then what are you working on?"

"Ah, this is for me. A forgetting potion. I know too much about my future. The only way to protect it, is to forget it." Rumple explains.

"Well what about this wand?" Emma asks, picking up the gnarled black wand. "You said that could help us."

"Oh that." Rumple says evenly. "Well, apparently, only those who used the portal can reopen it. So unless you can wield magic, I'm afraid you're not going anywhere."

"So you expect us to just stay here?" Emma asks incredulous.

"No. I mean to put you somewhere safe." Rumple says and before Emma can yell out his name and tell him he needs to fix this and return them right now, they're being whipped up in a cloud of smoke.

When the smoke fades they're standing on the bottom floor of a very tall vault with no doors or windows. Hook crosses the room and catches his reflection in a mirror. "Well, at least he did us one favor. I'm devilishly handsome again." He says grinning at his reflection.

Emma turns to see him opening a cabinet. "Don't touch anything!"

"I'm trying to find a way out." Hook says.

"I don't think there is one." Emma replies had come so far and now they were just going to perish in a vault belonging to the Dark One.

"He said all we need is magic. You're the savior, Swan. You can do it." Hook says, coming over to stand in front of her.

"Not anymore. I lost it."

"When Zelena died, all of her spells were undone. Your powers should have been restored."

"Believe me, if I could make it work, I would. You think I'm faking it?" She asks him angrily.

He frowns at her. "I think not having magic makes it easier for you to run back to New York and pretend to be someone else. You're not. It's time to stop running."

"I know." She says shocking him. "Yes, I run away. That's how I've always survived. But believe me, I want this to work. I want to go back. I want to stop running."

"What changed your mind?" He inquires.

"Watching my mother die." She says, her eyes filling up with tears all over again. "Thinking she was dead. You saw what happened. I was so relieved when she was okay and I hugged her and _nothing._ She didn't even know who I was. I had saved her and I lost her too. And I realized that's what I've been doing to her since I met her. When Henry brought me to Storybrooke it wasn't just about being the savior. He was bringing me home. Neal was right."

His eyes softened. "About what?"

"You don't have a home until you miss it. Being with my parents these last few days but not really being with them? I've never missed them more. Storybrooke. That's my home...what?" She stops and questions him at the knowing smile he is giving her.

"Look down."

Her eyes follow his and find the one black and gnarled wand in her hand is now glowing with white light just like her magic. She steps to the side and concentrates on opening the portal. Hook steps through the portal first and she nearly dives in right after him, not wanting to take any chances that it will close without her.

They land roughly on the hard ground outside of the barn, right next to where she dropped her cell phone. The portal closes immediately after them, no further traces of fiery streams shooting into the sky.

She allows him to pull her up but turns away quickly. "There are some people I need to see." She says, grabbing the storybook from his satchel and taking off in the direction of the diner, not even bothering to wipe the dust from her clothing.

The second her eyes land on her parents in the diner, she's practically tripping over her own feet to get them, wrapping them both up in a hug. "You weren't answering your cell phone, we were worried." Her father says.

"I'm fine. I'm home." She replies, putting emphasis on the right word.

"Does that mean you're not leaving?" Her mother asks cautiously.

"No. I'm not going anywhere." Emma replies, pulling Henry in for a hug. "I hope you found some good apartments."

After hugging her parents once more she allows herself to be pulled into the booth, Henry immediately grabbed the book back from her and began reading through the stories again. She takes it from him, flipping through a few pages before she finds one of her (well, Princess Leia) and Hook dancing together at King Midas' ball.

"Wait." Her mother cuts into her thoughts. "You were Princess Leia?"

Henry snorts. "Nice alias."

Emma laughs. "I was in a pinch."

"Well there you go. You're officially one of us." David says smiling down at his family.

"And as my first princessly request, I would like to know the name of the baby."

Her parents exchange a smile. Her father taps on a glass to get everyone's attention. "And now the reason why you are all here, to find out the name of our new son. After much deliberation and some arguments on my side that he'll be teased mercilessly, we have decided to name our son after Snow's father, King Leopold. But we're calling him Leo." David announces.

Rumple and Belle come over to congratulate her parents and Emma pulls Rumple aside. She quickly fills him in on what happened, asking him if he thinks that they managed to fix everything. "Ah. So that explains the day I found myself in my secret vault with no idea how i got there. Yes, Miss Swan, aside from your adventure with the pirate, everything has gone back as it should have."

She slides back into the booth, smiling at her parents. Her mother is rocking baby Leo and her father is standing behind her mother, fingers running affectionately over her shoulder. Her eyes fall back on the storybook where she is dancing with her neck, she finds him sitting outside of the diner at one of the small tables Granny never seems to put away even if it's too cold to eat outside.

There's no reason for him to be outside alone. With a quick nod to her parents, she stands up and heads out the door. She slides into the chair next to his. "So, do you think Rumplestiltskin was right? I"m in the book now. He said everything besides our little adventure would go back to normal. Do you think that it is?"

Hook laughs. "He's right. Otherwise I'd remember that damned bar wench I kissed."

Emma smiles, rolling her eyes at him. "How would that prove anything?"

His voice lowers. "I know how you kiss. I'd have gone after her. But I didn't. My life went on exactly the same as before."

"Mmm. Must have been the rum." Emma says teasingly.

He nods slightly. "Everything's back to normal. You're a bloody hero Swan."

She shakes her head, brushing off the compliment. "So are you." He snorts and she waits a beat before continuing. "I wanted to thank you, Killian." She pauses again. This is the first time she's called him by his given name since Henry got his memories back. He sits up a little straighter at her use of his name. She continues. "For going back for me in the first place. In New York. If you hadn't-"

"It was the right thing to do." He interrupts her.

"How did you do it? How did you get to me?" She asks sincerely curious.

A flicker of something she doesn't catch crosses over his face. "When the curse was coming, I ditched my crew and took the Jolly Roger as fast and as far as I possibly could to outrun it."

"You outran a curse?" She interrupts.

He smirks, trying to lighten the conversation. "I'm a hell of a Captain. Once I was outside the curses purview, I knew that the walls were down and transport between the realms was possible again. All I needed was a magic bean."

"Those are not easy to come by." Emma says.

"They are when you have something of value to trade." He says, faltering a bit on the last word.

"And what was that?" Chests of treasure, maps of uncharted lands, buckets full of gold, various riches flash through Emma's mind as she tries to picture Hook trading his hard earned loot for a magic bean. But what he says is something she never could have imagined.

"Why the Jolly Roger of course." He says, self-deprecating smile in place as though he expects her to argue with him over it.

She finds herself leaning closer to him, unable to take her eyes off his. "You traded your ship for me?"

"Aye."

Her mouth falls open a little at his confession, almost expecting him to smile and tell her no he traded something else of value. The words pound through her brain. _You gave up your ship for me? Aye. _But it wasn't just his ship. The Jolly Roger was also his home. The man so intent on getting her to realize what home was gave up his own for her without a second thought. No one had ever done anything like that for her.

And at that moment Emma decided she didn't care at all if this Killian was not the one she knew previously in Boston or if she would ever see him again. This was the man who gave up his home for nothing but a slight chance that he could find her again and bring her home to hers.

She leans further forward, her fingers trailing up his arm and coming to rest in his hair, allowing her to pull him the rest of the way towards her until her lips are against his. It's nothing like when he kissed her in the Enchanted Forest hoping it would jar his memories, nor is it anything like the kiss in Neverland, full of fuel and fire. This is different. Even more different than when she kissed him in the Enchanted Forest, hoping it was the man she once knew. This was a different kind of hope, one that came from the possibility of new beginnings. As her lips part, deepening the kiss, she tries to express how sorry she was for the way she treated him over the past few months.

His fingers tangle in her hair, angling her head to the other side. She slides her hand to the side of his face, her thumb rubbing over the scruff of his cheek. He breaks the kiss and pulls back slightly. She opens her eyes immediately meeting his blue ones. She can't stop the corners of her lips from curling up as he offers her a small grin, thumb coming to graze across the dent in her chin. And then it was as though he realized she was still in front of him and not backing away from the kiss. As though he was just realizing she wanted to be kissing him. With eyes as light as the happiest man in the world, he leans back in and kisses her soundly again.

She has no idea how long they sit out there kissing, both oblivious to the bitter cold. At some point she drags her chair closer to his, wanting to be as close to him as possible. His hand travels from tangling in her hair and curling around her waist to pull her even closer to him. Eventually he breaks the kiss again, forehead against hers as they both pant for air. She finds herself nudging her nose against his, eyelashes fluttering against his because the thought of the loss of contact with him makes her anxious.

His voice is rough and low when he finally speaks, making her shudder. "As much as I'd like to continue this, perhaps we should join your family inside before they come to find us."


	36. Chapter 36: confessions, part 1

**And here we go with part 1 of Killian's confessions. **

* * *

chapter 36: confessions, part 1

They take the long way back to the Dark One's castle, not willing to take any chances of being spotted on the main road by any of the Evil Queen's black knights. Instead they trudge through the forest, following the less traveled trails.

He's not comfortable just walking right into the Dark One's castle, but he knows how much Emma wants to get home that he choses not to say anything as she throws open the front door and strides with purpose into the great room. "We did it." She declares.

"Your parents are back together?" The Dark one asks.

"They're right back on track. We're ready to go. So how's the portal coming? Can you open it?" Emma asks impatiently.

"I cannot."

"Then what are you working on?" She asks and he can hear the anger creeping into her voice.

"Ah, this is for me. A forgetting potion. I know too much about my future. The only way to protect it, is to forget it." Rumple explains.

"Well what about this wand?" Emma asks, picking up the gnarled black wand. "You said that could help us."

"Oh that." Rumple says evenly. "Well, apparently, only those who used the portal can reopen it. So unless you can wield magic, I'm afraid you're not going anywhere."

"So you expect us to just stay here?" Emma asks incredulous.

"No. I mean to put you somewhere safe." Rumple says and before he can react, they're being whipped up in a cloud of smoke.

When the smoke fades they're standing on the bottom floor of a very tall vault with no doors or windows. Seeing a mirror on the far side of the room, he heads toward it. "Well, at least he did us one favor. I'm devilishly handsome again." He grins, pleased to find the glamour spell has come off.

She doesn't acknowledge him so he starts looking around the vault further, finding a cabinet and opening it. "Don't touch anything!"

"I'm just trying to find a way out." He replies feeling like a child scolded by their parent.

"I don't think there is one." Emma replies sullenly.

"He said all we need is magic. You're the savior, Swan. You can do it." He says walking over to her.

"Not anymore. I lost it."

"When Zelena died, all of her spells were undone. Your powers should have been restored."

"Believe me, if I could make it work, I would. You think I'm faking it?" She asks him angrily.

He frowns at her and decides there is no time like the present (past?) to have this conversation again. "I think not having magic makes it easier for you to run back to New York and pretend to be someone else. You're not. It's time to stop running."

"I know." She says shocking him. "Yes, I run away. That's how I've always survived. But believe me, I want this to work. I want to go back. I want to stop running."

"What changed your mind?" He inquires.

"Watching my mother die." She says, her eyes filling up with tears all over again. "Thinking she was dead. You saw what happened. I was so relieved when she was okay and I hugged her and _nothing._ She didn't even know who I was. I had saved her and I lost her too. And I realized that's what I've been doing to her since I met her. When Henry brought me to Storybrooke it wasn't just about being the savior. He was bringing me home. Neal was right."

His eyes soften, wanting nothing more than to drag her into his arms. "About what?"

"You don't have a home until you miss it. Being with my parents these last few days but not really being with them? I've never missed them more. Storybrooke. That's my home...what?" She stops and questions him.

"Look down." As soon as she started to speak about her family and her home the wand had begun to glow. It was now surrounded in a white light. He watches as she looks down in shock that she has her magic back. Without another word, she steps to the side and closes her eyes to concentrate on opening the portal again.

He lands in a heap outside of the old barn and the portal practically drops her on top of him. He takes a deep breath, breathing in the dirt and taking in the fact that they really have returned.

He's not even fully standing before his hand is reaching out to her to help her up.

"There are some people I need to see." She says, grabbing the storybook from his satchel and taking off in the direction of the diner.

He takes the long route back to Granny's, first wandering slowly past the docks before heading toward Main Street. The diner is still full of the townspeople and he can hear their joyous voices through the closed door.

It's cold, bitterly so, but he sits down at the same table from earlier in the day. He can see the back of her head, sitting at the booth with her parents. Part of him knows he should just go in and they'll likely welcome him, but this trip to the past is hitting him harder than he imagined and for once, he's grateful for the solitude.

He hears her approach a few minutes later but doesn't look up. She drops down into the chair next to him, so close her knee grazes against his causing his skin to tingle. "So, do you think Rumplestiltskin was right? I"m in the book now. He said everything besides our little adventure would go back to normal. Do you think that it is?"

She's so happy, even proud to be in the book now and fully be a part of this world that he can't help but smile and laugh at her words. "He's right. Otherwise I'd remember that damned bar wench I kissed." His tone is teasing but there is a seriousness to it. He knows without a doubt that he had really remembered that woman, as more than just a drunken blonde haze that he would have stopped everything to find her.

She rolls her eyes at him. "How would that prove anything?"

His voice lowers, nearly a whisper. "I know how you kiss. I'd have gone after her. But I didn't. My life went on exactly the same as before."

Shock crosses her features at his admission but as usual she brushes it off. "Mmm. Must have been the rum." She teases.

He smiles, but it is not genuine. Maybe someday she'll believe the truth of his words. "Everything's back to normal. You're a bloody hero Swan."

There's a slight shake of her head as she brushes off yet another compliment. "So are you. I wanted to thank you, Killian." She pauses and he feels as though she's waiting for the words to sink in. His heart stutters when she says his given name. Aside from keeping up pretences when Henry wasn't around, she hasn't called him Killian since they were together in Boston.

"For going back for me in the first place. In New York. If you hadn't-"

"It was the right thing to do." He interrupts her. He has a feeling he knows where this conversation is going to lead and he's not sure he's willing to go down that path right now.

"How did you do it? How did you get to me?" She asks.

_And here we go. _"When the curse was coming, I ditched my crew and took the Jolly Roger as fast and as far as I possibly could to outrun it."

"You outran a curse?" She interrupts.

It's better to try to keep this light. He's dredged up enough emotions during their adventure. "I'm a hell of a Captain. Once I was outside the curses purview, I knew that the walls were down and transport between the realms was possible again. All I needed was a magic bean."

"Those are not easy to come by." Emma says.

"They are when you have something of value to trade." He says, faltering a bit on the last word. This is harder than he imagined.

"And what was that?" She asks.

"Why the Jolly Roger of course." He's offering her another less than genuine smile again but hoping that she won't question him further. This confession has left him feeling more raw than he imagined. He's not ready to tell her of his memories or of how he traded his ship to search for a woman that left him with nothing more than a single word of hope and a tearful smile.

Her eyes widen and she shifts back slightly in shock. Her head tilts and he knows she's examining his face for any hint of a lie. "You traded your ship for me?" She asks in awe, leaning closer to him.

"Aye."

And there it is. One of his many confessions for how in love he is with this blonde woman sitting across from him, on the table. Her lips part and she leans in further. He follows suit, still unsure of where this is going to lead, but then her lips are on his. Soft and pliant, her kiss this time is nothing like the others. Her fingers weave through his hair, pulling him closer to her. He tentatively reaches forward and tangles his own fingers in her tresses, so silky his fingers slip right through. Her lips part in silent invitation and he takes full advantage of deepening the kiss, his hooked hand coming to rest on her waist. He's so lost in the kiss he ignores the signals from his brain reminding him he needs air.

Eventually, he relents, pulling back only far enough to press his forehead to hers. He hears that she's panting for breath as hard as he is, prompting him to open his eyes and take in what he imagines is a gorgeous sight. But he's unprepared for the small smile she offers him, full of happiness. His thumb traces over the dent in her chin and as much as he'd like to trace his fingers over every inch of skin she'll allow him, the desire to kiss her is too overwhelming. He dives back in, taking control of the kiss.

He vaguely remembers it being cold when he sat down out here but he can feel nothing but the warmth of her lips. She drags her chair closer to his, to the point where she's practically climbed onto his lap. He breaks the kiss, pressing his forehead to hers again. He smiles as she continues to nudge her nose against his and flutter her eyelashes on his cheeks.

His voice is rough even to his own ears when he finally brings himself to speak. "As much as I'd like to continue this, perhaps we should join your family inside before they come to find us."

The whining noise she makes in the back of her throat is nearly enough for him to come undone. "Fine." She whispers, drawing out the word before pressing another quick kiss to his lips.

He stands first, surprised to find he feels like a sailor on his first day at sea. She stands up unsteadily too, his arm immediately going to her waist. She links her arm through his and makes her way up the steps to the diner.


	37. Chapter 37: confessions, part 2

**Another chapter from Killian's POV. One chapter left to go. **

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chapter 37: confessions, part 2

He's sure he's grinning from ear to ear and there is nothing he can do about it. From the moment they joined the party, she has found little ways to constantly be touching him. He never expected her to be so free with her affections but finds he has no complaints at all.

A few hours later the party is finally winding down. Her parents have left, saying they wanted to get Leo into his bassinet at a reasonable hour. Henry has gone home with Regina after Roland's repeated begging for him to spend the night. She's lingering and he's not quite sure why.

"Love, you should probably get some sleep." He says when her eyes flutter closed a fraction too long.

"I just...I'm not ready to go home yet." She confesses, a pink stain creeping up on her cheeks as her fingers find their way to his.

"We could retire to my..to the parlour if you wish to talk." He says trying not to be too forward.

Her green eyes flash with amusement. "Your room is fine, captain. Although I'd kill to take a shower first."

He nods and steps back slightly, expecting she'll shower at home and then return to the inn to meet him. She gives him a curious look. "Your room does have a shower, doesn't it?"

"Err...yes. My apologies, I assumed…" he trails off unsure of how to finish. _Did she really want to shower in his bathroom? _

"Lead the way?" She asks softly.

He finally remembers to move, leading her up the steps and down the short hallway to the door of his room. He unlocks it and steps inside, gesturing with his arm wide for her to follow. She pauses in the doorway, taking in his room. There isn't much by the way of personal effects in the room, there was only so much he could carry from the Jolly before trading it.

She closes the door softly behind her and steps fully into the room. "You don't mind if I shower first?"

He blinks a few times before replying, still trying to confirm if this is really happening. "Not at all love. Do you want one of my shirts for after or would you prefer your own clothing?"

She flushes again, fingers curling into a fist at her side before she slowly raises her head to meet his eyes. "A shirt would be great, thanks."

She takes it from him and slips into the attached bathroom. He paces around the room as he hears the water come on, trying to think of anything but her in his shower. She emerges not long later, damp hair pulled up on her head into a bun and clad in nothing but his shirt. She's pushed up the too-long sleeves but nothing can be done for the hem which lands at mid-thigh. He's finding it hard to breathe or think when she finally speaks again.

"It was tempting, but I didn't use all the hot water if you want to take one." She says with a soft smile.

"Aye, I'll do that." He replies, not even because he can think of showering but because he needs to get away from her before he does something stupid like lunge for her and pull her onto the bed.

His heart nearly beats out of his chest when he emerges from the bathroom a short while later and finds her sitting on his bed. Her knees are pulled up to her chest with the blanket wrapped around her. "Come here." She says and he notes there is no hint of seduction in her tone.

He crosses the room and sits down on the opposite side of the bed. She scoots closer to him, lifting his arm and tucking herself into his side. _Tell her! _His brain shouts at him.

He takes a deep breath. "I have a confession to make."

She tilts her head up toward him, strands of her damp hair getting caught in his scruff. "Men always do." She says throwing his words back at him.

"I'm not sure how you're going to feel about this." He starts.

She turns further to face him, her hand coming to rest on his chest. "You can tell me." She says softly as though she were coaxing a small kitten down from a ledge.

"I remember."

"You remember." She repeats confused.

"Boston." He says and feels her sharp intake of breath. "I remember you, remember us together in Boston."

"But how? Since when? Why didn't you tell me?" She assaults him with questions but he is relieved to hear there is no anger in her voice.

"When you kissed me in Neverland, the memories came back. It wasn't right to tell you then, you had just learned that Neal was still alive and you needed to focus on finding your boy. I inquired to Regina about it and she explained that my memories returned with this kiss and not the others because I had developed feelings for you." He explains.

"That...that was a year ago. You've had your memories back for an entire year ago? Why are you just telling me now?"

"It was never the right time. I initially planned to tell you when we returned from Neverland, but I knew you were unsettled with Henry's behavior and then the curse was upon us and there wasn't any time." He says.

"So when you said you'd think of me every day, you really meant it." She says in awe. "I thought it was just something you said because of getting to know me in Neverland and the kiss, but it wasn't."

"No, it wasn't." He confirms. "I wanted to tell you again when I found you in New York and for a few moments I nearly considered never telling you and just seeing if we could start over again in a new city, but I had to help you save your parents and this town. You were so skeptical of even the concept of Storybrooke that I thought if I told you of us before, you'd be even less likely to ever believe me and drink the potion."

"And since we've been back in Storybrooke?" She asks.

He sighs. "Would you really have believed me or thought it was just another reason why I wanted you to stay in this town? You were so dead set on defeating the witch and going back to New York with Henry that I assumed you would think I was making it all up as a ploy to get you to stay."

"But you did want me to stay? Would you have really let me leave?" She asks softly.

"Of course I wanted you to stay. I can't tell you how many times the truth of my memories nearly fell from my lips when trying to make you see that you belong here. I would have done my best to convince you to stay, but ultimately I would have never _made_ you. It needed to be your decision Emma."

"You'd let me walk away?"

He doesn't respond at first and she shifts to look at him. When he sees the glassiness of unshed tears in her eyes he knows he needs to further explain. "Not like that. But because if you truly believed that New York was the only place that would make you and Henry happy again, I could not stand in the way of your happiness. It'd hurt like hell, but I'd let you go and hope that you'd figure out just how much you'd miss this town and the people in it."

He's caught off guard when she straddles him, wrapping her arms around his back and squeezing tight. "I"m so sorry." She murmurs into his chest.

He reaches out for an errant strand of hair that has escaped the bun on her head, rubbing it through his fingers. "Whatever for, love?" he asks.

"Everything. I was horrible to you. I treated you so terribly from the moment I met you. I can't believe even after getting your memories back you decided to stick around and endure me being such a bitch to you."

He laughs. "It's alright, love. You stumbled upon a man who looked like someone you once knew and trusted but who had no memory of you. You were hurt and then you had to deal with the return of your lad's father and then Henry's kidnapping. You had to hear your parents deepest confessions and every snide remark from Regina. You endured listening to everyone doubt you that something was wrong with Henry when we returned from Neverland, only to find out that you were right and then you had to leave the family you had just found. You were given a brief length of happiness but that was once again taken away I showed up and brought you back here. Where you found the guy you were dating was a pawn for a twisted wicked witch who likes to play mind games."

"But none of that makes it _okay. _I was horrible to you and you can't just brush it under the rug with excuses of what else was going on." She argues.

"You didn't know it was me. You thought it was just some pirate captain looking another conquest and that part was my fault. It was easier to stay in that role than it was to be the man you knew in Boston until I could tell you I had gained my memories back."

"Wait so you are Captain Hook too?" She asks.

"Yes. Three sets of memories and lives rattling around in this old head of mine. Regina said that instead of me coming over with the other townspeople during the first curse, I went to Boston instead."

"And you met me." She confirms.

"Aye." He hesitates, still worried that informing Emma of their destiny to meet will cause her to run. "Regina believes we were destined to meet so the curse didn't affect me as it did the others. Time did pass for me, although not as it did for anyone else. Five years passed from when I said goodbye to you when you left to drive Henry home and when you found me under that pile of corpses in the Enchanted Forest."

"Five years!?" Emma exclaims. "What did you do for five years?" She pulls back to take in his face.

He blushes, tips of his ears turning pink as well. "I...I looked for you. Hired a private investigator. Tried to go on. And then once not long after I resigned myself to believing you had simply vanished, I found myself in the Enchanted Forest, with no memories of my time spent in Boston. I reappeared next to Cora who was telling me we could get to Storybrooke and I could exact my revenge on the Crocodile."

Warm tears slip down her cheeks and land on his chest. "I"m so sorry. I wish you didn't have to go through that or I would have at least not been such a bitch to you."

"It's in the past, love. What matters is we're both here now, right?" he asks, still unsure of she feels about him.

"Yeah." She mumbles, gazing at a spot over his shoulder for quite some time before jumping with a start. "I guess I have a confession for you now too."

He smiles. "And what would that be, love?"

"I'm not good with words. You know that." She starts and he trails his fingers up and down her spine, trying to relax her. "I fought so hard against all of your-captain hook your- advances and everything because I just wanted to return to you in Boston. It hurt like hell that you looked just like him but weren't him, at the time. But there were glimpses, moments where you would do something that reminded me of us together in Boston. And then, eventually, I realized it didn't matter. It was really unlikely that a guy I had barely begun to start dating would wait for me for over a year and here I had this identical guy who pushed me and challenged me and never let me feel like I was alone, despite how I treated him."

"What are you saying, love?" He asks, wanting to make sure he's following along properly.

"I'm saying that from the moment I drove away from you in Boston I wanted to come back to you. I'm saying that even if you weren't the same man from Boston and never had those memories of us, that I didn't care and that I had fallen just as hard for you, even if you were a centuries old pirate captain." She says in a rush before pulling away from him and fiddling with the clasps on his shirt.

Her mouth opens and closes a few times but no words come out. He lets his hand move to her waist, his thumb skimming back and forth. She bites her lip and brings one hand to her throat, nervously playing with the necklace there. "I"m saying...I'm saying that I love you, Killian."

He's pretty sure all of the air has left his lungs. When he's finally able to react again, he's pulling her down and crushing her against his chest. "I love you too Emma. I've wanted to say that for quite some time now."

Her head tilts up until she finds his lips, sighing at his touch. The kisses are gentle and sweet, much like those they had shared in front of the diner earlier. When she breaks the kiss for a jaw-splitting yawn, he can't help but grin. "Perhaps we should get some rest." He suggests.

She relents, rolling off him and tucking herself into his side again. "You'll be here in the morning?"

"I'm not going anywhere without you, Emma." He says pressing a kiss to her forehead. She drifts off almost immediately and he takes another moment to revel in the fact that she is once again in his arms before closing his own eyes.


	38. Chapter 38: the end is just a new beginn

**I'm unfortunately getting my wisdom teeth out today so I thought since I'm having a crappy day you can have a better one. **

**This is it, the final chapter. I hope you like it. I'm sad to let this story go, but as I said before, there's a good possibility of some one-shots added in the future. **

**Fair warning, there's smut below. Because if you're ending a story, you might as well end it with some smut. ;)**

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chapter 38: the end is just a new beginning

When the last dregs of sleep slip from her mind, the first sense she becomes fully aware of is touch. She feels the steady rise of his chest with each breath he takes. She feels the coarseness of his chest hair against her fingertips. She feels the warmth of his legs pressed against hers. This is the perfect way to start the day she thinks, finally cracking one eye open.

He is still sleeping, ridiculously long lashes fanning out over his cheekbones. His face is softer, relaxed, but it only adds to his attractiveness. She brushes a lock of hair off his forehead, content to see his lips curve into a smile even in slumber. Her fingers slide down to trace over the scar on his cheek before making their way to run over the stubble on his jaw. She returns her hand to just above his heart, running the length of his chest to just below his navel and back up again. She has only repeated the motion a few times when his hand jerks and covers hers, stopping the movement.

"What're you doing?" He asks, voice sinfully low and deep with sleep.

She squirms at the sound, embarrassed something as simple as an accent can have such an effect on her. "Touching you." She replies, keeping her tone purposefully innocent.

"Is that such a good idea?" He asks.

She pulls their entwined hands toward her, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand. "I think so."

"Come here." His voice is still gravely, sending jolts of desire through her.

She swings her leg over his, sitting up and straddling him again before leaning down and pressing her lips to his. The kisses are slow and lazy but just his touch is enough to get her heart racing. It's been so very long since they were intimate with each other and it was only that one time, creating that first-time anxiety to coil in her stomach once again.

He breaks the kiss, lips trailing across her cheek to her neck. "You're quite the lovely vision to wake to, love." He whispers.

"You're not so bad yourself." She replies, flipping her hair over her shoulder to give him better access to her neck. He takes full advantage, alternating between kisses and licks until he reaches the junction of her shoulder, biting down lightly.

She wriggles against him in pleasure, noticing another part of him is now awake as well. He growls, the noise going right between her thighs. She nearly wriggles against him again just to hear the noises he'll make. It's then she remembers how he teased her their first time, not even letting her touch him. _Time for that to change _she thinks, turning her head to stop the assault of his lips and tongue.

"My turn." She tells him at the confused expression he gives her. She begins by pressing open mouth kisses to his neck, curling one hand behind his head to scratch her nails through his hair. She mimics him, biting down on the junction of his shoulder and neck and is pleased when he groans, hips lifting involuntarily into hers. She trails her way across his neck with her tongue taking in the saltiness of his skin , making sure to flick against the hollow of his throat.

"Emma" he warns in a seductive tone but she just grins and starts her way back up the other side of his neck. Reaching his ear, she tugs the lobe gently between her teeth. His fingers that have come to rest against her hip, flex into her skin at the movement.

She returns to his lips, tugging the bottom one into her mouth and sucking before slipping her tongue into his waiting mouth. She kisses him hard, but when his fingers move to curl in her hair, she breaks the kiss. With a wink she scoots down his body, alternating between kissing and nipping her way down his chest. Curious to see if it affects him the same way, she licks along the curve of his hipbone, a satisfied smile crossing her lips when his hips buck up and a cross between a growl and a moan tear from his lips. She switches to the other side, alternating until he's panting and she can feel him, hard and hot against her chest.

Scooting forward again, she peppers his chest and stomach with kisses as her hand reaches down to cup him through the thin material of his boxers. She switches between the scratch of her nails and the light stroke of her fingertips until he's twisting against the sheets. Anxious to get to the final act, her fingertips slide under the waistband of his boxers, dragging them down and tossing them to the floor. She positions herself between his thighs with a smirk.

"Love, you don't have to..." He starts but stops with a shuddering breath as she swirls her tongue around him.

"I want to." Her voice comes out huskier than she imagined, no doubt because this is affecting her as much as it is him. Maintaining eye contact she takes him into her mouth, swirling her tongue again.

His hand seems to hesitate. He's moved it down by her head but doesn't touch her. She grabs it, placing it in her hair to let him know it's okay. His fingers curl, lightly tugging. She's only able to continue a few more minutes before his hip thrust into her face and he's apologizing and begging her to stop at the same time. She releases him with a wet plop. "It's okay."

"I...I need you to stop so we can do other more enjoyable things." His voice is ragged.

"I'm pretty sure you enjoyed that." She teases.

"Quite. But I'd prefer to share in enjoyable activities." He replies.

She shrugs. "I was enjoying that."

He sighs and she knows it's time to stop messing with him. "What'd you have in mind?"

His eyes flit over her body. "Well first, much less attire on your end."

She pulls her (his) shirt over her head and reaches behind to undo the clasp of her bra, tossing it to the floor. "Like this?"

He swallows hard, eyes darkening as he takes in her lithe form. Then he smirks. "Might as well get rid of those too." He says gesturing to the scrap of lace between her legs.

She comes up on her knees, slowly dragging the fabric down over each hip and down her legs, baring herself fully to him. She straddles him again, leaning forward to kiss him. The kiss is urgent, full of impatience and promise of things to come. Her hips drop slightly, allowing him to slide between her wet folds but not enter her.

"Gods Emma" he growls. "Are you trying to kill a man?"

"Not particularly" she replies, using her hand to help guide him inside, sinking down slowly. She shudders in pleasure at the intrusion, relishing in the feel of him before rolling her hips and lifting herself up slightly. He groans again, tugging his bottom lip between his teeth and the gesture spurs her on. She wanted to do this the second she saw him in the Enchanted Forest, not knowing he had no idea who she was. It's been too long. And with that thought she leans forward bracing her arms on either side of his head, increasing her pace with sharp snaps of her hips, her teeth biting at his lips.

"We have all the time in the world, love. Slow down." He says, placing his hand on her hip to slow her movements, but she shakes her head at him.

"Next time or the time after that. Right now I just need you." She grits out.

Something akin to understanding sparks in his eyes and then he's meeting her thrust for thrust until they're both covered in a sheen of sweat and tumbling over that blissful edge of pleasure.

She falls forward on his chest in an exhausted heap. "That was..."she trails off unsure of what to say.

"A one time thing." He quips, throwing her own words back at her.

She flicks him in the ribs a few times, too tired and sated to inflict any more damage than that.

"Oi!" He flinches, fingers coming under her chin to tilt her face up to his.

She easily meets his eyes, staring into the blue depths when a gentle smile crosses his lips. "You know, I think we might be giving your parents a run for their money with this 'I will always find you' notion."

She grins, realizing that no matter what happens, what villains are thrown their way that they will always face it together. "I'm sure they'll be okay with that, but if we could stick with the being together more than apart, I'd prefer that route."

"As would I." He brings her hand to his mouth, pressing soft kisses to each of her knuckles.

"I love you Killian." She says unable to keep the emotions bubbling within her.

His fingers come up to caress her cheek. "I love you too Emma."

_And they lived happily ever after. _

_(Until the next villain showed up, who they promptly defeated together and celebrated their victory by purchasing a small house near the harbor.)_

_Emma and Regina combined their magic to pull the Jolly Roger from her place in the enchanted forest. She rests in the Storybrooke harbor, going on frequent weekend long trips to New York and other nearby locations with Henry serving as first mate._

_When not sailing, Henry has taken a great interest in writing, creating new scenarios for the fairy tale versions of the town citizens. Killian finds himself doodling sketches of the words Henry brings to life on paper. _

_For Christmas they present everyone with copies of their hard-bound book, The Lives Behind the Fairy Tales, wrapped in shimmering silver paper and large red bows. _

_And when she curls her body against his in bed every evening, she is reminded how she is no longer alone. That she has a son, parents and this magnificent man who love her and are willing to do anything for her. The lost orphan, it seems, has finally found her forever home._

_~The End~_


End file.
